Does this group of friend disrespect me or am I being sensible?

[bejadreamstoreality]

Does this group of friend disrespects me or am I being sensible?

We, a group of friends are planning to go to a 2 day festival. We are around 15 people. It takes 2 hours to drive, we will stay in 2 apartments and will come back together when it's finished. We are making all plans and everything in a group chat. We will be going there in 5 different cars.

One of the participants asked: are we all going to follow each other driving there in a line?

I replied: these lines are sometimes a distraction when we have to make sure we are close to each other. I think it's better if we all go and meet at the destination.

I was not satisfied with the way they responded to me.

A girl replied: whoever orders the take-off is Commander and Co-Pilot, the remaining crew follow the trio.

Another boy said: what do you mean to be distracted? We motivate each other along the way. I'm from #teamfollowinline!

I don't know. I think it was a little abrupt. They could speak in a more friendly way. Because I already have bad experience with this group. Sometimes I find them a little childish. I'm thinking about giving up going.

What do you think about that?

They are definitely just being jokey. They aren't trying to offend you.

They sound more jokey that disrespectful. But you ANBU to be expected to travel that far in a convoy. You'll all end up losing each other anyway. Chuck your satnav on and meet them there

People will think it's a funeral

Why 5 cars when 4 would do?

Are you 19

It sounds like this is their sense of humour. Some people always answer simple questions with a joke or sarcastic comment.

Probably on the day they will decide to make their own way to the festival. I have a relative who is very sarcastic and it is annoying but ive learnt that they are like it with everyone, so I don't take it personally anymore.

Sarcasm can be funny, I have a dry sense of humour but it is tiring and boring when it is someones default response.

OP - your friends are disagreeing with you, not disrespecting you.
As a driver I hate going in convoy. As a passenger it doesn't bother me because I don't have to make any driving decisions.

They may be trying to be humourous. If not, they know there'll be other vehicles on the road, right? And they have actually driven on UK roads before? It can be difficult enough following one car, let alone several. But if you'd like an excuse not to go, which is what it sounds like a bit, then use it as an excuse.

You either need to chill out hugely or drop out.

You are a passenger, the correct thing to do was not respond. If you are worried about the ability of your driver to drive safely, you shouldn't be going.

https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00705

Actually you are not wrong. Studies show it is more dangerous to follow than meet up later. One if those studies is linked to above, its interesting reading.

How old are the people involved? Can't make out if they are younger than you or the same age. You sound abit older or more mature in your thinking, it's the reference to a boy and a girl.
Driving in a convoy seems daft anyway especially when you have to factor in other road users, traffic lights et al.
I'm sure everyone would be able to get there with some common sense, plus phones so you have a meeting point.

When you reply saying whoever decides is the boss the rest follows it is not nice.

But that's not what she said though.

She said according to your OP "whoever orders the take-off is Commander and Co-Pilot, the remaining crew follow the trio."
Meaning whoever leaves first will be at the front (i.e the commander) and so on. It was clearly a daft joke by an excited party member.

The male's response was disagreeing with your idea that a convoy was a distraction, but in a perfectly polite way.

You sound like you have issues with communicating, or just dislike this woman since your ire seems to be directed at her.

Just leave them to go alone, you sound unhappy to be part of this friendship group so why do things that make you unhappy?

Convoys are crap. Nowadays there are GPS that show you the way.

Nobody is wrong, different opinions but if you rather not to follow them just don't do it. I found convoys distracting, annoying and I would rather to meet at the place or at the services.

I’d have said, ‘sure, sounds good’

And just made my own way there, at my own pace. A 5 car convoy sounds like a distracting faff.

They were being funny. No one was disrespecting you.

you are being too sensitive
you aren’t even driving so why do you care? Just turn up and enjoy the ride!

Why are you even going then?!

It's not disrespectful to disagree. If you don't want to travel like that then make your own way there.

If you are driving then it's your decision whether to drive in some sort of line or not. Don't be dictated to by them. The others do sound a little childish in their replies.

But OP isn't driving, she is a passenger.

Are you used to getting your own way? I like to be in control of travel so am!
Personally I would struggle a bit being a passenger and would make my own way.

She's a passenger!

You can’t always drive in a convoy. What happens when you get to traffic lights? Do those at the back go through the red light?
Or a roundabout. Does the front car sit there for ages until there is a huge gap, big enough to let 5 cars through?
Silly.
Its up to you if you want to go. Maybe give it a go and if you debt enjoy their company make it your last trip together.

This all sounds very teenage.

OP you aren’t even driving so it’s not your call. You are allowed an opinion but so are the others that are going and with such a big group, I’m not surprised they disagree with you.

the communication style is fine and it’s fine if you have a problem with it. It’s also up to you about whether you make mountains out of molehills

The fact that you’re calling everyone girls and boys makes me think you’re probably quite young so maybe not everyone has grasped a polite/mature way of speaking on a group chat yet - although there are plenty of older people who do this too! Age may also impact the perspective that five cars in a convoy is a good idea. I agree with you that it’s potentially dangerous as it’s a distraction from driving safely. You are questioning whether you even want to be friends with them - I’d concentrate on that bit as you’ve had ‘bad experiences’ with them. Friends should be a positive part of your life.

They are just fooling around, nothing to get upset about.

But you are right about it being simpler and safer to just meet there rather than trying to drive in a 5 car convoy.