To think there are a lot of nasty people on Mumsnet?

[Poile]

Just that.

Have seen so many directly aggressive and passively aggressive comments on here that it makes me think that many mumsnetters are just plain nasty. Assuming to due to unhappiness with own life.

Some examples stick out - when people ask to guess their age some of the guesses are just rude and over the top inaccurate. One poster even questioned a person’s gender even stating they had thick eyebrows which were not groomed due to depression. The disingenuous of “please don’t think I’m being rude but …”.

Also saw someone ask for help with their curtains and the amount of snide remarks was shocking.

I also think a lot of people in here think their way is best and the only way. Insufferable.

To me the people who will kick a person when they are down just seems disproportionately high. Obviously the fact it’s an anonymous forum adds to this.

Surely it takes far more self control and selflessness to go against your wants and impulses. Many parents do their best when the child is here but some do not and a few are even worse and just abusive. The drive to reproduce does not a good parent make. Something can be selfish and biological. We are programmed to like fat and sugar to literally stay alive, we know logically however that too much will cause us to be obese.

Think about it another way, what kind of life will your child have? Will they be happy? Can you provide a good, secure, loving upbringing? There is no guarantee your child will have a great life. So much of the outcomes for children is based just on income which is crazy to me but such is life.

There’s also so much transphobia posted here
with the assumption that it’s naturally a part of feminism, which is really sad. Nothing radical or feminist about bigotry! (Note to transphobes: I don’t engage with bigots, so you’ll only be wasting your own time by trying to start an argument with me :) )

I genuinely thought the exact same thing today after posting a thread of my own and getting bashed for not leaning into slagging off my partner and not explaining intimate detail about our lives! I think for some people it's an outlet to be angry at the world and exhibit bitterness but thankfully there are also still a lot of kind, rational and logical people on here too!

😂

The vast majority of people have children because they want them. It's the very definition of selfish.

No one does it thinking about how the human species would die out otherwise and clearly ''we'' isn't everyone because not everyone decides to have children.

I have a tattle account although I don't post much except on the off topic boards but its actually a much nicer, friendlier and supportive forum than on here much of the time, perhaps because people are venting their spleen elsewhere on that board so don't take it out on each other?

I agree with your first paragraph but it becomes a problem when OP gets hectored. e.g. "Why are you still speaking to THESE PEOPLE ???", "What did the police say when you reported it?" " What exactly do you see in this Prince?" Some posters are trying to be helpful, some are putting the OP down and think they're being clever. Also the amount of projection is massive.

I feel sorry for the bullies its like they have some problems going on and taking it out on everyone.
I think of my friend years ago that was called all sorts of names because she had her 16 year old son removed from her home.
She was in A&E at the time getting treatment because he attacked her it was awful.
She never did come back to MN after that.
And that poor woman trying to explain to every one about her mums post i really do believe she was a genuine person.
Some post on here are mean and rude not something i would say to people online or in their faces i wouldent want to be friends with a lot of people on here.
I never post anything about myself im nice to everyone because you just dont know what someone is going through.

Furthermore, and back to the original point - how did a this view abhorrent?

Or generally are views where people disagree even politely abhorrent?

The vehemence with which some people react to opinions they do not agree with is absurd at times.

This is so true - and it applies to particular topics

Trans issues - that's just one side or the other with each side calling the other bigots.

Brexit - any nuance denied - anyone who supported it or has anything positive to say about it - bigots (apparently).

Toilet brushes and shoes off indoors.....

Apparently.

It's the same with 'bullying', it is thrown around very easily.

I like "What exactly do you see in this Prince?"

as a reminder it's not compulsory to put up with shit. It may not constitute immediately helpful advice but the site would be very boring if supportive advice was the only thing permitted.

@gothicomedy I am so sorry this happened to you. It is like some people have to be 100% right based on one thing about their own experiences and have to impose that at all costs. There are ways of disagreeing with others without being an arse about it. Or having a discussion instead of just saying your experience.

Absolutely. I think it’s people who are very passive in real life getting their own back by being nasty online. Little hits of adrenaline.
There are often vulnerable posters on here splurging thoughts they wouldn’t say in real life and they are crtitiqued and mocked as if they had gone out and done something terrible.

There are certain things I wouldn't ask about or have certainly learned not to bother asking about because what's the point, you know you'll get loads of unpleasant and ignorant replies. Things I wouldn't ask about

1. baby names (I don't get why people want to ask strangers about this..you like what you like, I don't need anyone's approval :) )
2. very subjective parenting stuff - everyone's got an angle
3. anything related to being a step-parent (wrong forum!)

Stuff I would ask/find replies are more constructive...

1. health/pregnancy experiences - doesn't attract as many cruel people
2. practical things i.e - what kind of buggy/car seat etc.
3. Some work related stuff - i.e How did you break into this industry etc.
4. Weirdly also mental health - because I think it tends to be more supportive group of people - although I must admit I have limited experience so may be wrong?

Yep horrid people everywhere. I find drivers and people online (like MN) the worst as they can be horrible behind their shields.

Sometimes it is like this

No worries. I am still surprised that this site, which undoubtedly does have women being rude on occassion, is being criticised while Reddit is being held up as an example of internet civility.

I may have spelled occasion wrong. It's looking wrong however I type it, now.

@ArabellaScott , occasion is fine

The subreddits I’m on are not negative - r/space, r/h3productions, r/books. I’m not saying Reddit in its entirety is toxicity free.

Mumsnetters often jump on a point and extrapolate to the nth degree - totally misrepresenting the initial point as a result

I think the gentler more respectful way of life of years ago is long gone. People are more aggressive. No one can be seen to be shitting out. There is so much anger on the roads. Everyone wants to be right. Everyone wants to be the best. I think social media has a lot to answer for. Before its inception we didn’t know everyone’s thoughts and feelings. Now we do and no one wants to be seen to be “less” than anyone else. Just my observation x

Are there statistics to back this up, @Emmainexile?

Sometimes it is all

I hate gifs that reference obscure US TV (or whatever that is) what on earth is it supposed to mean?