To think there are a lot of nasty people on Mumsnet?

[Poile]

Just that.

Have seen so many directly aggressive and passively aggressive comments on here that it makes me think that many mumsnetters are just plain nasty. Assuming to due to unhappiness with own life.

Some examples stick out - when people ask to guess their age some of the guesses are just rude and over the top inaccurate. One poster even questioned a person’s gender even stating they had thick eyebrows which were not groomed due to depression. The disingenuous of “please don’t think I’m being rude but …”.

Also saw someone ask for help with their curtains and the amount of snide remarks was shocking.

I also think a lot of people in here think their way is best and the only way. Insufferable.

To me the people who will kick a person when they are down just seems disproportionately high. Obviously the fact it’s an anonymous forum adds to this.

A lot of the time, those using these accusations are just offended by responses they've got to their post

and often the most aggressive in responses to their posts

That's not what I said. By removing the word "randomly" from my post you have changed what I was saying.

Which is that what they are doing is worse than popping on a thread to be randomly spiteful.

Women say unkind things online.

Men issue threats and send dick pics.

I've never had a woman pm me with a picture of her fanny or threaten to find me and rape me.

I agree. Of course having children is selfish.

I'm not talking about abusive situations. But no one would be asking for relationship advice in the first place if their relationship was perfectly happy and healthy. And yet, in the real world, it is absolutely possible to fix an unhappy relationship, thank goodness. No marriage is 100% happy all the time. I honestly think it's just symptomatic of a society that wants instant gratification - if anything requires work, external input, counselling, communication, then it's not worth it. Just give up and be happy. How much easier it is to give that kind of recommendation than actually provide thoughtful, nuanced advice on how to mend a relationship.

The guess my age posters are insufferable and deserve a dose of reality. The so called unkind guesses are usually far more realistic as to how old they actually look

This is a very passive aggressive thread.

I don't know...I kind of feel that anyone who could be led by MN doesn't really want to save it anyway. Divorce/splitting is very rarely the easy, instant gratification option.

Having children is a biological imperative. The reason we have an inbuilt impulse to reproduce is for the survival of our species. Of course, these impulses have been woven into us over millenia, and so the way nature gets us to do something so breathtakingly UNSELFISH as reproduce is by giving us maternal longings. So yes, you could say it's selfish because it's done in response to a hormonal impulse. But that's a very superficial way of assessing actions. The reason for that impulse is the exact opposite of selfishness. Having children is remarkably difficult, painful and sacrificial. It's a long long road of sleepless nights, putting your needs last all the time, even accepting that for a number of years your child mught despise you and show no appreciation for your sacrifices. But our hormones compel us to do it because, if not, the human species would die out.

What would be the dose of reality that you think you deserve?

I've had that happen to me. Nothing was done about it. I advised against a baby name (very politely) as the nickname for that name would be awful to saddle a kid with and he could be bullied.

I think it's REALLY unnecessary to point out spelling mistakes.

If other people's grammar upsets you that much.... you've got a big problem.

MN isn't a work place so no need to be awful about people's spelling.

I wouldn't post on here looking for sensible advice about a problem situation. Some posters would try to be helpful but, from what I have seen, a high proportion just want to up the drama and some, particularly when giving relationship advice ,project massively and make assumptions.
Also, there are unpopular categories of people on here i.e. step mothers, MILs, most men, boomers etc. who are always in the wrong.
Some posters seem to think they are being witty or feminist but they are actually being nasty. Also the PA " What did the police say when you phoned them?" etc.
I must admit I mainly come on MN if I'm a bit bored. The threads on SEN, elderly parents etc. are much more useful than AIBU and relationships. There used to be one poster on relationships who seemed to think she had the solution to every dilemna in the world. She had a following and they were very scathing to anyone who questioned her. Not what you need when you're upset.

Sometimes MN is like this

Sometimes it is like this

Sometimes it is like this

Op, Yabu about the age threads.

Those are fucking stupid

people are either posting themselves because they think they look older

or posting someone they hate (and reducing the age so people remark that they look older)

Reddit has a sub literally called "misogyny", dedicated to porn that degrades women. Mumsnet wouldn't even consider hosting such an open sewer of anti-woman propaganda.

But yeah, you carry on telling people that Reddit's better...

And occasionally it is this.

No......

It's pretty tame on here, which is why I like it. Twitter is awful.

Mostly though?

Yes this

Why on earth would anyone post themselves on an internet forum asking 'what age do I look'?

Validation from random people on the internet is not healthy

The number of women who have been helped by posters on Mumsnet is wonderful. Women worn down, conditioned to accept the bare minimum, gaslighting, undermined... And their relationships are brought into the sunlight with outside perspectives and they realise they are worth so much more than they are getting.

I love Mumsnet for that.

I also enjoy the many, many areas where posters share their expertise, or look at things from angles I haven't considered.

The Gardening and the What We're Reading sections are great too. As for FWR - how else would we know about the campaigns and fundraisers (aka digging the allotment) for feminist causes that need support.

Only today there was yet another victory for a woman discriminated at work for GC views. Mumsnet has been a massive rallying point for feminism.

Yes, posters can be snarky or cruel or overly blunt. That's far, far better than the male-dominated spaces of the internet. No Mumsnetter has ever sent me unsolicited dick picks or rape threats or hopes I'll die in a fire...

I love the vipers here. They are ascerbic, funny, knowledgeable, compassionate, and yes, sometimes absolute rotters. But the latter are more than worth it for all the former.

But you can be a dick to people within talk guidelines.

However, it doesn't make it right, does it?

Brave @LenaLamont 👏🏽

i think there are an amount of people who like to kick others when they are down, but thankfully they are in a minority.

last summer I had the misfortune to break my shoulder. 10 days later I was on a bus and due to me being unable to navigate a moving bus with a broken shoulder I sat in a priority seat near the driver to ensure I was safe, and posted about it later. While I got a lot of people saying it was fine, I also got a load of people saying ‘how dare you? I’ve got MS and a stroke, I could have needed that seat!’ Yeah maybe you would have, but you weren’t on the bus were you!!!!