Bratty children and presents

[BrandySnaps1]

Gave my niece (through marriage) a Christmas present. Shes 14. Obsessed with make up, hair, and because of her dad, loves designer. Shes spoilt. 5* holidays, bags, you name it, shes got it or at least wants it.

Gave her some makeup items and she was SO disappointed. She opened it and the look on her face said it all. She expected Armani make up and i got her Boots items. Either way since when have pre-teens because so spoilt? Next time Im not even going to bother.

Anyone else experienced bratty children? How to handle them through gritted teeth. Shouldnt kids at least feign excitment?

Short man syndrome? You sound ghastly OP

OP you missed the mark. Own brand eye shadows really don’t have the quality or pigment of the more expensive brands. Of course she was disappointed, you bought her a gift that she wouldn’t use. It’s exactly the same as the threads where people complain someone has bought them a dove gift set when they never use that brand. It’s disappointing and a bit thoughtless.

Next time buy her a single eyeshadow if you can’t afford a £60 pallet.

You DO NOT have to buy her a Dior palette but can you honestly not see why buying her a boots eye shadow isn't going to be received well?

If you only drink freshly ground coffee beans, picked by nuns in the Peruvian mountains at midnight and I rock up with some freeze dried instant from Aldi as a gift for you, since I know you are a coffee drinker, and then consider you spoilt and bratty when you don't seem impressed, I don't think that would be fair to you.

She may never have to worry about money. Some people live very different lives. You don't have to compete with that but please don't get her something you know she'll hate and then be pissed off that she indeed didn't like it.

My dd is 13 loves sephora goes to private school and has a lot of holidays. But has been raised to have manners and would thank anyone for any gift she got fancy cheap whatever. And actually her favorite Christmas gift was a pack of socks with her favorite movie character I bought for 3 dollars. I'm in the US so I'm not sure how much that is there.

Totally off point but I have been looking for that one for ages. Its got some lovely wearable colours

It looks like the child did thank her. OP just didn't like 'how' she thanked her. Then in multiple followup posts she seems irrationally bitter about her niece and BIL. It honestly sounds like it's her that hasn't been raised right

Crying in poor as boots stuff is still too expensive for me

YABVVU to use the term 'short man syndrome'.

He might be a dick, he might not be but it has nothing to do with his stature.

Commenting on a man's height in a derogatory way is one of the last forms of 'acceptable' discrimination, used by a selection of ignorant people.

Would you say 'fat man syndrome', 'black man syndrome', 'disabled man syndrome'?

Do better

Hope banker wanker is acceptable 😁

Oh no. I misunderstood I've been up all night sick lol. In that case that's not very kind. I'm sorry I got it wrong

@BrandySnaps1 I actually thought the palette was really nice! It has all the colours she would have liked and was from one of those youtubers all the teenagers loved.

It comes across like im setting her up for a fall? WHy and how?

Either you REALLY don't know teens or you are being faux naive. No teen who lives makeup would want a boots palette and I'm yet to see a cool content creator promote a boots palette.

What did you want her to do? Dance around the room with it?

Wow. This thread is an eye opener…..

Sounds like a lot of entitled brats on here as well as the OPs niece!

Shes 14 not a baby.

OP - there’s nothing wrong with what you bought her, if she doesn’t like it then there’s not much you can do about it now. I wouldn’t bother giving her a gift next time, stick with a voucher.

Or leave the gift giving to your DH if he wants to waste his money on her.

This 100 percent. Some of the replies on this thread…

I think looking a bit disappointed is not a big deal, it doesn't sound like she complained. She's still learning an adult level of emotional control.

I think that it's probably more odd for you as an adult to give her a gift you apparently knew she wouldn't appreciate. Maybe give money towards what she wants next time?

We have a Dudley Dursley in the family. Rotten little bugger who boldly declares “I have this already but a better version” and rubs it in other kid’s faces if they don’t get as spoilt as him. He’s 10. I sit seething as his parents coo over him but smugly think of what a wanker adult he will turn out to be and my awesome kids, who are grateful for every last gift, will be amazing humans.

I could have written this myself.
My almost 11 year old rinsed me at Christmas for all the skin care!
I can't lie now I've had a shotty am after some of the drunk elephant bronzing drops for myself but they are out of stock.
It's better than make up, more wholesome but oh so pricy.

I have a close, younger family member who has only liked expensive brands from about age 14. I have gifted her nice clothes, makeup etc but noticed that she never used them, she just stuck to her fancy stuff she would get from other people (or buys herself).

I thought it was a bit snotty of her but I decided to just give her gift cards for shops/businesses I know she uses so she can get her own stuff, or I get her a small item that's affordable for me but still of a brand I know she likes (gift cards usually though). She seems more grateful and does appear to actually use these things.

She didn't have the same influence from parents as your niece seems to though - her parents aren't like that at all 🤷🏼‍♀️ she's just a bit of a Regina George kind of character.

I saw a few of them and it's truly shocking. The rudeness and attitude just makes my heart hurt.

Did you give her the items she didn’t want in order to get this response? There is no doubt she should have been grateful regardless of what you got her. But why not get her one small piece of what she wanted instead of lots of things she didn’t?
It doesn’t sound like you like her in the first place so why give her something at all?

I'm confused. If given a gift that you don't really like/want, is the correct response to:

1. Thank the giver sincerely for the gift and for thinking of you (even if the thought hasn't gone very deep)?

1. Feign over-the-top delight so that the giver is left with the erroneous impression that you loved the gift and that this should be used as a blueprint for future gifts?

1. Mentally "reeducate" yourself in a split second so that, instead of liking what you like, you've seen the light and recognise the giver's superior judgment? Boots is indeed better value than all that expensive designer rubbish. Having been brought to realise this (thanks to the giver), you can now express genuine delight for the gift and will be switching to Boots going forward because, let's face it, any old thing is good enough for teens who don't fund themselves and who therefore shouldn't have preferences.

For me, 1. makes sense. The second one was what I was brought up to do as a child and was always faintly soul-destroying and made receiving presents quite stressful. 3. (demanding genuine appreciation for misconceived gifts, often on the basis that you "should" like whatever it is you've been given) seems faintly Orwellian.

I just think the whole thing is crazy. There used to be a concept of 'luxury', meaning something very special. Adults who had earned enough money could afford more expensive or better-quality things. I'm still cynical about this but for the sake of argument, let's go along with it.

But now, kids seem to expect luxury things handed to them on a plate! MN makes me laugh. If teenagers behave badly someone will be along to tell us it's not their fault - their brains are undeveloped etc etc. Yet they behave like adults who demand only the very best - so a bit of a mis-match there. This girl isn't even a near-adult - she's 14 - a mere child, and yet she and her awful parent seem to think she's entitled to only the very, very best. Gosh - I hope she'll be able to find a really well-paid job to support her entitlement (or will Daddy step in?).

Is it only me who sees this as depressing? This kind of entitlement amongst young people is pernicious and unsustainable. Please teach your youngsters about commercial pressures, advertising and to look critically at what they're being told and sold.

And that's leaving aside the question of manners, grace and generally being a decent human being.

This is very perceptive.

I remember as a teen getting presents that were off the mark but either meant to be thoughtful or were a passive aggressive dig - M&S pants a size bigger than I was, Body shop ( coveted brand when I was a teen) blackhead removal scrub.

OP is miffed because she thought she had got a great present. Niece said thank you but made it clear that it wasn't to her taste. OP overreacts because she hates her BIL and feels that rejecting of makeup symbolises all that is wrong with the world.

Mumsnetters jump in and complain about youth of today, and how they were grateful for a lump of coal when they were young.

Why not buy her a donkey for someone in the developing world, or a do action to adopt a polar bear? Show her that to here are a lot more important things in the world than designer trash. At that age she should be caring about the planet.