Bratty children and presents

[BrandySnaps1]

Gave my niece (through marriage) a Christmas present. Shes 14. Obsessed with make up, hair, and because of her dad, loves designer. Shes spoilt. 5* holidays, bags, you name it, shes got it or at least wants it.

Gave her some makeup items and she was SO disappointed. She opened it and the look on her face said it all. She expected Armani make up and i got her Boots items. Either way since when have pre-teens because so spoilt? Next time Im not even going to bother.

Anyone else experienced bratty children? How to handle them through gritted teeth. Shouldnt kids at least feign excitment?

Life is full of disappointments and being given a gift you don’t ‘want’ is one of them. Teaching your child to be polite and gracious to those who bothered to buy you a gift, even if you think it’s shit, is important and part of social expectations.

It’s all Charlotte Tilbury and Dior for make
up now and I blame a lot of it on TikTok.
my dd is nearly 13 and last year she went through the expensive skincare obsession of Drunk Elephant and SDJ and I was expecting her to start with the make up next but she hasn’t and she’s autistic and
doesn’t like the feel of make up but I’ve Instilled
into her to be gracious when receiving any gifts which she has struggled with in the past due to her obsessions changing quickly. It’s embarrassing.

I know it doesn’t change the situation now but having 11 teen neices and nephews who are all very different the only thing that seems ok is cash or voucher.

The ability to be gracious seems to bypass some people these days.

Yep, and it's horrid

Wow so rude! But then 14 year olds can be ridiculous. Dad needs to have a word.

What were you thinking?

Don't be so dramatic, it's Boot's make up not second hand underwear...

Yet you also know she doesn’t like cheap brands. Gifting someone something you know they won’t like isn’t thoughtful.

I’m not sure I would buy a teen make up, perfume or skincare products unless you know them well enough to know what they use.

Would you like someone buying you random make up? I know I wouldn’t as there are very few products I would use, not because I like expensive stuff but because I have a skin condition.

I give teens cash for Christmas, it just saves and disappointment for them and for me when they don’t like what they have been gifted.

You really don't like the girl nor her father, she's not even your niece !

but
' we have all agreed not to exchange presents due to DH losing job and cost of living. I didnt have to gift anything at all but i did because i know she loves makeup '
now you turn your dislike / envy of this family into a sob story.

' she loves ( designer ) make up ', not some random cheap stuff from Boots, if you had really wanted to buy her a gift she would like / appreciate - knowing her expensive taste ! you should either have given cash altho we both know it wouldn't have been enough to make her happy or a gift voucher from a high end shop that sells her type of make up i.e. John Lewis / Selfridges etc.

As she isn't your niece, don't bother next year it was a waste of your money and it's either now in the bin or regifted to a charity shop.

Me neither. When I was 14 I was just grateful that an aunt and uncle bought me make up because I couldn't afford to otherwise!

I cheerfully spend an arm and leg on expensive makeup and perfume. But I'm an adult and earn my own money in order to do that. I'd also but expensive brands for my adult friends.

For a child, however, no chance. Since when do teenage girls need expensive make up? Fuck that.

Why are people excusing this behaviour? My kids are now 18/19 and have received all kinds of crap gifts. They are great at feigning sincere gratitude no matter what. That’s basic manners.

Though despite being privileged, they are pretty easily pleased. And genuinely happy with most stuff they receive.

That's great, you've raised your kids properly. OPs bil and sil haven't and as such the DNeice has no value for money. This isn't her fault as it is bil and sil job to instill these values. People aren't excusing the poor behaviour just pointing the blame in the correct place. At the feet of the parents not the child who doesn't know any better. The contempt and anger towards a child from OP is worse than an ungrateful child imo.

The late-teens child of a loose acquaintance has been massively over-indulged, thinks their shit doesn't stink and makes the most outrageous, elitist comments on social media (that they frequently get flamed for). I 'cope' with it by bitching about the vain little twat with a friend who also knows this parent & child. That said, the kid has been raised by a parent who's made a career out of shopping, pandering to the whims of her idiotic image-obsessed husband, and constantly being overly concerned by the way they look so that's the example this particular child has been set.

It’s extraordinary that people are criticising the OP’s choice of gift. Saying she should have bought something more flashy.

I have no regrets that my kids have always shown gratitude for gifts. Imagine thinking this behaviour from your kids is ok!

The OP did nothing wrong. It is like knowing someone loves Diptique candles for example. So you assume they like candles and you want to get them something similar but what you can afford. So you buy a nice White Company one instead on Black Friday. Is that poor behaviour too?

Goodness what’s happened to people. My friends raise their kids similar to me so maybe accepting this greedy ungrateful behaviour from teens is just one of those MN things.

Yes I agree, sometimes in life you don't get what you want, tough shit.

"I think children should at least feign excitement at gifts"

"AIBU to be pissed off my niece gave a fake thank you to my gift?"

You don't like her. You don't like your BIL. She can't win. She did exactly what you think she should have done - feigned a thank you - yet you're still on here calling her a brat!

I just asked my 18y old. She said at 14 she would have acted like she loved the makeup, whatever it was. She also said there are TikTok videos of ten year olds being so rude in Sephora. Being angry and knocking over items because the designer items they want are not in stock. How very depressing.

Him and his daughter sounds bloody awful.
Ignore the stupid comments saying you should have bought her one expensive item instead of a few cheap ones.
We dont all have the available income to do this. Kids need to be brought up to appreciate any gift they are given
Obviously her dad is making a pigs ear of it.
They are the sort of people to avoid

I agree with PP. It sounds like you deliberately bought something you knew she wouldn’t like, to prove some kind of point. You already said you know she only likes designer makeup, so it was clearly deliberate.

You could have spent the same money on one Dior mascara or nail polish or eyeshadow and she probably would have been thrilled.

I wonder if the “disappointed look” she allegedly gave was more about the fact that she recognised what you had done, rather than disappointment with the actual gift.

Your beef is with BIL. Don’t take it out on a child.

Because the OP is so obviously pathetically jealous of the whole family and is taking it out on the child.

yes exactly my thoughts too

Without doubt I agree

If you know someone likes designer stuff you don’t buy them Boots stuff. A single thing like a Dior lip balm would have been much better and showed that you cared. This only shows her that you don’t care. Which you don’t tbf, but why then give a gift at all.

OP she's a child and unable to fully regulate her emotions. You bought her a gift you knew deep down wouldn't hit the mark. She wasn't overtly rude by the sounds of it but just wasn't quite able to act as thrilled as you'd have liked.

This is why even in my late 30's I still hate receiving gifts sometimes tbh. For most people it isn't easy to act delighted with a generic, honestly pretty thoughtless, smelly set without seeming disengenuous. It's actually quite anxiety inducing even for an adult never mind a 14YO

Also, even if she'd literally thrown the gift in your face I really wouldn't be impressed if you were slagging off my child on a public forum. In fact, I'd be cutting ties with you if I found out.

I see you've also added the exact same post on the 'behaviour and development' board as well just to truly stick the knife in..... 🙄 .... stay classy...

I agree