Bratty children and presents

[BrandySnaps1]

Gave my niece (through marriage) a Christmas present. Shes 14. Obsessed with make up, hair, and because of her dad, loves designer. Shes spoilt. 5* holidays, bags, you name it, shes got it or at least wants it.

Gave her some makeup items and she was SO disappointed. She opened it and the look on her face said it all. She expected Armani make up and i got her Boots items. Either way since when have pre-teens because so spoilt? Next time Im not even going to bother.

Anyone else experienced bratty children? How to handle them through gritted teeth. Shouldnt kids at least feign excitment?

Fairly obvious to me you did it deliberately.
You Knew she wld baulk at Boots makeup. So you set her up to fail.
Get a grip.
And even if she is the biggest brat in the world, I'll say to you what I say to my own dds as I was rearing them.
"I don't care how others behave, conduct yourself properly."
And in this instance, you did not.
You are slagging off a 14 Yr old. An adult is actually online reading the arse off a 14yrold. Shame on you

Just because a product is expensive, that doesn't mean it has retinol or peptides in it. Products that contain retinol would be marketed as anti-ageing anyway and would not be appealing to a young girl. They also have warnings on them about usage.

Most products that contain peptides would also be marketed as anti-ageing, but as peptides don't have any adverse effects on skin, even tween skins, it's really not anything to worry about.

Well don't blame your niece for that.

The child sounds ungrateful and spoilt to me. I wouldn't bother again with gifts, she already has enough.

In my family we don't distinguish between nieces and nephews like that, regardless of how long we've been married and how old the "child" is. In your situation I would refer to the young woman as "my niece" or "our niece". I didn't know other people do this differently, and I do think it's a little sad.

So your BIL is a nasty piece of work who abuses his wife and your niece has to live with that every day of her life at just 14... and your worry is that she is 'spoilt' and 'bratty' and you 'want to shake her'?

She is desperately insecure, has a horrible father and lives in an abusive household with dysfunctional, and all you want to do is slag her off repeatedly because she didn't jump for joy when you gave her a crap present to teach her a lesson. Right.

You don't sound any nicer than your BIL. This thread is foul.

There is a big difference in the depth of colour and staying power between No 7, Max Factor etc and Chanel and Estee Lauder.

A lot of money, admittedly, goes into the packaging, but the makeup is also very different

Sorry if someone has already asked about this- but have you posted about this before- there was a niece who was constantly wanting to go for coffees out I recall?

I agree that she should have had better manners but she’s a teenager and I do think that boots make up was a bit of an odd present for someone like this, surely you might have anticipated given the history that you might not get the right thing? Make up and perfume is very personal. And it’s not wrong to want one really specific thing rather than a couple of things you don’t really like. I agree, either ask her what she likes next time and get one small thing or just don’t bother if it gets you wound up.

Well that works for you doesn't it then!
You get most people saying its his mother etc so he deals with it, on MN
So he should buy mother present etc
That saying she is treated very well by both of us, however when it comes to birthdays xmas etc i don't remind him of it nor to nag him to send money. Its comes from our pool of money but it will be him who sends her via revolut or takes cash out at xmas time not me. He was doing it long before i met him
I am the one who sorts out my sis and bro who are in baby stages, comes out of one pool of money but its me who sorts it - we share the load

I think you may have misunderstood me. I do take care of gifts, etc. for the nieces and nephews on my side of the family, and he does for those on his side. I was just commenting on the phrase you used - "my husband's niece" - as if she wasn't also your niece.

Why purposely buy something you know someone won't like? I just don't get it. Why waste your own money? Also a gift should bring joy. Give a voucher towards the expensive makeup/perfume etc etc etc but you can't force someone to like something cheaper. And if she said thanks... would you really want ehr to pretend to love it?

i have always said that - stayed the same - and my family and friends say that too, more so helps people understand who their family is especially for us as their is a huge gap in ages. And when i started going out with my now husband. They are all treated the same ( very well) treated as family and everything comes from the same pool of money

£50 is most definitely ridiculous to spend on eyeshadow, especially for a child.
She bought her gift within her budget, that’s not ridiculing anyone.

No bloody way would I buy expensive make up for a child ffs. She sounds awful OP. I'd pull back and wait for her to go out into the real world without Daddy's wallet to cushion her and then she'll hopefully understand.

This. I think a lot of posters have missed this update.

I’ve been working out how to reply to this @BrandySnaps1 as you are so focused on the wrong thing. You’ve stated how your nieces dad treats her mum and yet your are still bitter and jealous of them. Why?

he is abusive towards her mum (may not be just her mum) lshe has had to grow up seeing the way he treats her only for him to then shower mum with gifts. Do you realise how damaging that would be. To grow up thinking that the only way love is shown is by being showered with gifts after being at the very least verbally abused.

instead of being jealous, you should be understanding. Let them know you are there for them. It’s likely your niece said what she did to gauge whether you’d be therefore her if she disclosed anything further. If you reacted in anyway that is similar to how you have posted about her and her family on here then all you will have done is show her how bitter and twisted you are and that you’ll never support her

So you know she likes expensive brands but got her boots own knowing she wouldn’t like it?

Sorry but you sound super jealous

No i got her an eyeshadow palette because i know she likes to play around with them. It wasnt a deliberate crappy present. I cant afford to buy her expensive designer makeup. And really I didnt have to buy her anything at all as we had agreed to not do presents. I saw it and picked it up on a whim.

It’s hard at that age to fake joy. If your gran gives you a crappy bubble bath set you would smile and show gratitude but you’re not 14. Maybe ask what she’s into next time or get a voucher? Kids her age are obsessed with TikTok and expensive brands! It’s not really her parents fault, it’s social media!

You don't like BIL, and reading fully, he does sound like a nob

But your niece doesn't sound any worse than most teenagers. She doesn't sound spoilt or bratty.

Honestly, I was expecting to see she'd thrown it at you and told you not to buy her "cheap crap"...

I watched some Tik-Toks about 10 years old girls, Sephora and Drunk Elephant and other "popular brands". It's quite a hoot /s. Just search for 10-year-olds in Sephora.

I always try to look grateful but it's awkward getting gifts you don't want. I've received many a body shop gift set over the years and all have been donated. I would never dream of being ungrateful and saying I don't like them. But it's a massive waste of money.

Fair enough! It's not something I've come across in my family or circle of friends, so it stood out as strange to me, but maybe it's not that unusual.

I'm really baffled by people saying the OP bought her niece stuff that she wouldn't like 'on purpose'? I don't see her say that anywhere in her post. Yes she does make reference to her dad's lifestyle and the niece being quite spoilt, perhaps as an explanation (with hindsight) for why she reacted this why but I doubt she expected her niece to turn her nose up at the make-up? I certainly would not expect that, I don't think it's normal.

It amazes me how some people think! I was brought up to be really pleased when anyone got me a gift and that you didn't need to go for the designer stuff every time to make the most of yourself. In fact some of the miserable people and therefore slapped arse face people I know are the picky, materialistic ones. You can buy all the designer shit in the world but not a good heart. It's down to parents to teach this stuff.

Maybe just go with a voucher next time OP.

Anyone remember the thread a few years ago of the 18yo who put a video on YouTube of her opening lots of presents and giving them the thumbs up/down and comments etc? I think one of them was from her grandmother which got the thumbs down and the poster said her grandmother would be so upset.

The ability to be gracious seems to bypass some people these days.

Boots as a brand is very dull and out of fashion for someone that age (with wealthy father). What were you thinking? Better to even get her a gift voucher from John Lewis (who do discounts on DIOR (but not Channel) perfumes about 1ce or 2ce a year on their sales) - or even an Amazon voucher.