5 year old said something triggering this evening

[Fivesidedstar]

He’s currently obsessed with killing and death in general.

He said “Mummy, I wish I would die” then laughed it off. I was so triggered I felt like I was going to burst into tears there and then. I felt really shaken up too.
I almost shouted at him “Don’t say that!” He just laughed and continued playing.

I’m also a believer in manifestation and speaking things into existence, which is why I’m now in a panic.

I can understand you being caught off guard by his comment but honestly, please don't worry.

At 5, most children start to understand that life isn't endless and that people die. That said, they don't have full understanding of what dying means and the emotions associated with it, so they can be blunt to say the least!

When he mentions dying or people dying, just answer matter of factly 'yes, everyone dies one day, but hopefully not until they are very old' and move on.

I think the problem is not your 5 year old talking about death, it’s you being an idiot. Of course manifestation isn’t real. If it was, nobody would live in poverty, or die of cancer, or marry a total fuckwit…..

Sorry I don't understand what you mean

I consider "manifestation" to be deeply insulting. So it's the fault of disabled people not manifesting hard enough that they aren't able bodied? The mentally ill? The impoverished? Those with cancer, or other terminal disease? The bereaved? If they'd all only manifested more strongly they wouldn't be in that position? What a crock.

When I was about 5 or 6, I played 'dead' all the time, slumping down dramatically and lying on the hearthrug or grass or whatever. My mother and father just got to the stage of saying, 'oh, are you dead again?' and stepping over me. I wouldn't worry about it.

One of mine was convinced I'd shot him in the face and killed him at that age , he was pissed off with me for about a week

Stop being so ridiculous, you are going to have a very difficult 18 years if you carry on like this

Don’t worry they say all sorts of silly things

when ds was about the same age he told me when I died he was going to live with his friend as he likes his mummy 😮 apparently his friend had same them same about me

they are still best of friends 😬😆

Kids say all sorts of weird things. You could keep an eye on him of course but he's probably ok.

I’m also a believer in manifestation and speaking things into existence, which is why I’m now in a panic.

This is a damaging belief to have and not the case. Stop being into it and just pray if you want something. People don't make themselves ill by their words/thoughts etc- that's an ableist idea.

Of course manifestation isn’t real. If it was, nobody would live in poverty, or die of cancer, or marry a total fuckwit

Ah but of course, if we go through stuff like that, it's because we were thinking wrong, or were maybe evil in a past life.

Statement: as others said, normal. I usually share a wish back: I wish I could fly! I wish doctors prescribe chocolate!

Manifestation: I have read about it ( ever hopeful!) and my understanding is that one cannot attract something one doesn’t understand.

Has someone in the family died at some point - he may well be meaning 'I wish I could see Grandad' and because grandad has died then I want to die to see him then the day after coming back to see Mummy

Statement: as others said, normal. I usually share a wish back: I wish I could fly!

Orville has entered the chat

Ask what he thinks death is like. High probability he's either heard about heaven and is imagining something wonderful, OR he watched a funny programme about ghosts or death. Hearing what he thinks will call you. He's 5, he's just playing.

You can’t attract anything by wishing for it.

My son calls me mamma, mother, mom, mumsy, mater, ma, old lady, maman, mutti. Depends on what he wants. Anyway hes 32 now, but back when he was around 6 I think, he was death mad. He didnt stop mentioning death for ages.
So OP if you come back, get help with your issues. Dont perpetuate this.

You've had some unnecessarily unpleasant and mocking replies OP, I'm not sure why but it seems to be getting worse on this board.

Anyway, if you're still reading -I actually get what you mean. I'd be disturbed if either of my children said "I want to die" and they are 3 and 17, so huge age gap! Doesn't matter their age, I'd be unsettled by it. Not because they fully understand it necessarily (definitely not the 3 year old), but because it's anxiety provoking and unsettling to hear words like that from anyone you love. Well, it would be for me.

So just hear to be a minority voice and say, I'm with you on this.

Thanks for saying this, I was considering writing it myself but lost the energy and felt quite weary about it all of a sudden!

AIBU has always been like that, hasn’t it?

That should be *here not hear

@Snowdogsmitten

I've personally only been here a couple years myself but in that time I've noticed it get worse.

Do you think that maybe he sees that it's getting a reaction from you (even if you think you're hiding it) and that's why he's obsessed? Kids at that age will use rude words and find it hilarious for the same reason.

Whatever your beliefs, please be calm. If he repeats this, do ask him why, and explain that death means he would not see you again. Ask him who suggested such a thing that would make you so unhappy. If he does have friends, it is possible that this has come from them, and a word with his teacher might be in order.

My first thought too.

And all these internet strangers are here to take the piss out of someone who potentially might have a recognised mental health condition.

Lovely.

I wish doctors prescribe chocolate!

Why?! Then you’d have to pay a tenner for it, rather than 80p.

You need to grow a backbone, OP. Children need boundaries and parents who can talk to them about the world sensibly. Your child needs you to be the adult in the room, not someone who gets triggered into a meltdown every time he says something innocent - which this will be, because he's a small child and probably doesn't know what he's talking about, or at least doesn't understand the impact of his words. If you carry on with this sort of behaviour, you will end up with an older child/young adult who doesn't want to confide in you about the real things going on in his life, because instead of support, he will expect you to start going into histrionics.