Taking my boys into female toilets

[Fredablogs]

They are 7, 4 and 2. I have noticed a few looks when I take them into the female loo. Am I supposed to leave the oldest outside? Or send him to the gents on his own, although he wouldn't as he is pretty much scared of everything.. ?? What is the etiquette please

Oh good god! its a rare moment when a guy has to dash into the ladies with a small child, I think most would rather scoop their eyes out with a spoon than do it. I don't like sharing women only spaces with men and I never will, however, as a human being I can see it might just happen that a say, A 3yo girl out with dad may need a wee urgently, as a mother and grandmother I can recognise a 'wee emergency' when I see one. To me, the thought of a little girl using the mens loo is abhorrent.

I take DS9 in too (if DH isn't with us). They're cubicles with doors, he's not going to see anything he shouldn't.

Yet most fathers do without incident.

There is a certain group of posters who act like single sex toilets are some kind of perfect, infallible space. Then when real life, which is often messy and unpredictable, kicks in they can't deal with it.

There are male toilet attendants (there was one mopping the ladies at the service station I stopped at this afternoon), plumbers and maintenance men, security (in my younger clubbing days I saw male security staff in the women's dealing with an incident more than once), women with young male children, possibly a man with young female children or who needs to use the baby change which thanks to ingrained sexism in our society is often in the women's loos, carers with opposite sex service users.

I could go on, but the bottom line is life isn't perfect. Single sex loos should be available where space allows (i.e. not in tiny cafes or on a plane), and the piss shouldn't be taken if you'll pardon the pun, but anyone who expects never ever ever to see a person of the opposite sex in the vicinity of a single sex space is setting themselves up to fail.

Gosh surely that's awkward for her 12 y old too I have a 15 yr boy and he would have been mortified from secondary school age

He won't do it at school and is likely to get into arguments or be threatened in a ladies toilet as people may well assume he's up to no good.

So they have been in and come out or is that your opinion?
With so many girls being attacked in school mixed sex toilets I don't think having strapping 13 year olds towering over them is very thoughtful.

Don't forget the dads of the children as well! They can use the women's as well according to some!

If a child needs a wee NOW the men's would probably be the quickest place! Considering the amount of people allowed to use the women's!

It's called child on child or peer on peer sexual abuse and is believed to be under reported because adults brush it off.

I don't think most fathers do use the ladies. I've never seen a man in the women's toilet with a small child. My husband takes our children into the men's.

If a man went into the men's and found it completely unusable I would think ok maybe take the 3 year old in the ladies, but I certainly don't think it should be an initial response. Mens toilets smell of urine but I don't think they are generally that disgusting otherwise. Certainly regularly cleaned ones in service stations etc shouldn't be. And it doesn't matter if a young child sees a man using a urinal. Under 8 that is anyway.

A 7-10yo in a restaurant toilet with mum in tow is not there groping other kids. You're conflating very weirdly between that and a teenage boy abusing another child. I'm not sure that I can understand why.

Not in a toilet but we had an incident of peer on peer abuse between 7yos in a school I worked in - just before I worked there so I didn’t know the boys. They were abusing the girl in a corner of the playground so you would think there would be enough people around to dissuade this. It’s not only teenagers.

I am guessing most men disagree and wouldn't be seen dead in the ladies. This whole conversation is mad. Why are women arguing for men to able to use our toilets when they don't even want to?

And where are you taking your young children with all these disgusting toilets? Other than secondary schools and nightclubs and non service station petrol stations, most toilets are reasonable wherever I go. Or nothing that a quick wip round the seat won't solve. Let's face it young kids are just as bad adult men for peeing everywhere, so they don't really need a pristine toilet

Surely that isn't occurring in a public toilet though. It will be in schools mostly.

If I saw a 12 year old boy in the woman’s alone I would assume he had got the wrong toilet and turf him out and woe betide his pathetic mother if she tried to argue with me..

I would probably have given you a bit of a look OP - not because I think you are doing anything wrong in terms of their ages- just because I am thoroughly fed up of the ladies toilets being a free for all because the men’s aren’t nice. We’ve seen loads of examples on this thread.
I was at a Christmas attraction recently and there were about 20 people queuing for the ladies of which around 8 were small boys with their mums. Almost every family there had a dad/male with them yet the default seemed to be for the mums to take the boys to the toilet. It’s infuriating when female toilets are always more queued up anyway.

100% this!

Oooh you’re hard

Dominoeffecter

presumably you think it’s perfectly normal for mothers to encourage their almost teenage boys to go in the ladies toilets on their own?

I have never seen teenage boys in the ladies toilets ever in my 40 years of living. A 12 year old is not a teenager yet and there are small 12 year olds. I have only seen children go in the ladies.

12 is year 7/8.

Old enough to get the bus from school

Old enough to use the boys loos at school

Old enough to stay at home after school with their own key

Old enough to use the end changing room when they go swimming

Not old enough to use the men's loos with their mother waiting outside

Men's changing room 😑

Nope I was referring to your ridiculous ‘wow betide’ comment 😅

Have you really?

Every sexual assault in a public toilet I’ve read
of has been of a girl or woman in the women’s toilets.

The OP is fine to access the women’s toilets but I’m surprised to hear men attacking boys is so much more common than men attacking girls in your area. Usually CSA predominantly targets girls.