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AIBU?

To ask how many of your friends you think are ‘Ride or die’ friends

174 replies

Girlsgirlsgirls123 · 06/01/2024 12:18

I saw a thread a while ago about the idea that most friendships are just ‘situational’ in which you’ll be friends with people out of ease (live in the same area, go to the same school, same job etc). Furthermore, my elderly dad (in the context of someone becoming unwell so moving back to their hometown) said that he found that a lot of the time ‘friends’ tend to evaporate in times of crisis. This got me thinking how many of your friends would you say are ‘ride or die’ friends who would stick by you through thick and thin and wouldn’t just evaporate when things got hard? 

OP posts:
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TheaBrandt · 06/01/2024 21:07

On the rare occasions I’ve needed others it’s often the friends you least expect that come through. I’ve heard others say the same too.

I have amazing Dh and sisters so for me friends are a “nice to have”

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KT8282 · 06/01/2024 21:10

2, who have already been there, as have I for them. I would also say people in this category are the ones for whom you could turn up at their door at 3am and they’d make you a cuppa/pour you a whisky and leave it to you whether you’d need to explain why you were there at that moment. I place these friends above family except DH/DC.

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RM2013 · 06/01/2024 21:11

In reality probably just a couple. A close friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer and she said she thought she had several ride or die friends that would stick with her but she said people just seem to disappear when you’re ill and no fun anymore. Really sad

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Nanny0gg · 06/01/2024 21:12

Girlsgirlsgirls123 · 06/01/2024 12:18

I saw a thread a while ago about the idea that most friendships are just ‘situational’ in which you’ll be friends with people out of ease (live in the same area, go to the same school, same job etc). Furthermore, my elderly dad (in the context of someone becoming unwell so moving back to their hometown) said that he found that a lot of the time ‘friends’ tend to evaporate in times of crisis. This got me thinking how many of your friends would you say are ‘ride or die’ friends who would stick by you through thick and thin and wouldn’t just evaporate when things got hard? 

Definitely 2.

Possibly a couple more

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Billoddiesbeard · 06/01/2024 21:13

1 friend and 1 relative.........and I would absolutely reciprocate for either of them.

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SoRainbowRhythms · 06/01/2024 21:17

My husband left me earlier this week. I had my first "ride or die" at my house within the hour. A few of them are planning shifts at mine to get me through the early days, and I've been offered places to live. They're an amazing small group of women.

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Ilovelurchers · 06/01/2024 21:20

My mom.wpuld cover up for me if I committed murder, and I like to think my daughter feels the same.

I have three female friends whom I believe would stand by me through most things.

There are other people too, friends and family - but you never really know for sure, do you? Probably the only people I absolutely trust always to be on my side whatever happens are my mother and my daughter.

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Tearsofamermaid · 06/01/2024 21:30

Interestingly I’ve recently experienced friends who WERE there for me in times of crisis but are not now that my life is back on track and, dare I say it, things are going really well. This is making me feel that they only like me when they feel superior to me.

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OhGetFucked · 06/01/2024 21:32

SoRainbowRhythms · 06/01/2024 21:17

My husband left me earlier this week. I had my first "ride or die" at my house within the hour. A few of them are planning shifts at mine to get me through the early days, and I've been offered places to live. They're an amazing small group of women.

I'm really sorry. What a blessing to have great women in your life though!

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SnufflyBunny · 06/01/2024 21:32

Definitely 3, probably 6.

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Zanatdy · 06/01/2024 21:33

3 very close school friends but lots of others I’ve kept in touch with over the years, old work colleagues etc I see regularly, or nursery / train mums. Very few out of convenience for me

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Atethehalloweenchocs · 06/01/2024 21:35

When my mother was dying, it was really surprising who stepped up and stuck by me and who disappeared.

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Aliceinwonder1 · 06/01/2024 21:36

None, but neither would any family apart from my husband.

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MyLibrarywasdukedomlargeenough · 06/01/2024 21:47

I would have said 5 but very sadly 2 of them have died in the last four years.

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Whatkatyforgottodo · 06/01/2024 21:54

One friend. And I hope all my family.

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FrangipaniBlue · 06/01/2024 22:45

If we're talking major life events I have 5 friends who I'd say would drop what they were doing to be there for me.

If we're talking illegal shizzle going down, burying bodies type stuff 3 of those absolutely. 1 would help dig the hole while 2 stood watch and I'm fairly certain between them they have enough knowledge to dispose of a body!

The other 2, while they wouldn't do anything illegal, I think they'd come up trumps with a legal way to deal with the situation IYSWIM?

I also think I'd add my MIL and SIL to the "help get rid of bodies" list, in fact those two would probably help me create the bodies 😂

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sakes · 06/01/2024 22:47

I don't think
You can say until shit happens. People who you think will step up don't and others who you wouldn't have thought, do

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strawberryandtomato · 06/01/2024 22:51

I would pick my good friend over my best friend. But that is personality type and situational.

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TheZoehan · 06/01/2024 22:54

I think a good barometer is whether people will step up when it puts them at risk too. Like, there's a difference between stepping in and defending a mate and driving them to the hospital after.

However, I think some of it comes down to the individual as well. My ex's best mate (guy he boxed with for years) was a bit of a tough guy and he'd have no doubt been prepared to go toe to toe with somebody to defend my honour. However, I think this spoke more to his ego than any genuine affection for me.

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TheZoehan · 06/01/2024 22:56

strawberryandtomato · 06/01/2024 22:51

I would pick my good friend over my best friend. But that is personality type and situational.

Yes, this is kind of my point too. Some people are just more bold and it isn't always that they love you more. They're just less inhibited when it comes to difficult situations or confrontation.

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Thedogscollar · 06/01/2024 23:05

I have two great friends who I know I could call on any time of day/night and they will be there for me.
They've taken me to A&E in middle of the night with severe chest pain. They took me into and collected me from hospital after my cholecystectomy.
We have all been through so much together children, bereavement, divorce and moving home. We all work together too so understand the stresses of our jobs.
They are simply the best friends I could ever have wished for. I am truly blessed.

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TheZoehan · 06/01/2024 23:07

One of the girls I mentioned above from the Thai boxing club I trained at for years had her Focus RS nicked on a saturday night. It was her pride and joy and she'd put loads of money and work into customising it. It had an expensive tracker on it, one worth over £500 which was hard to locate, not one of the cheapo ones.

She tracked it to this guy's garage on a nearby estate about five miles away and we went for a drive to check it out on the sunday. This chavvy looking young guy was out front doing some DIY. We parked up round the corner and the other five girls were seriously talking about just storming in and getting the keys back by force.

We decided against it as there were kids toys etc out front and we weren't sure if the kids were in the house. Also he obv knew my mate's address as he'd lifted the car off her drive (OBD theft). I was kind of impressed and also a bit shocked that they were all 100% serious about rolling this guy and getting her car back. I'd only known them about six months at this point. The police sorted it in the end though and it was defo the sensible choice.

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Dweetfidilove · 06/01/2024 23:18

4 friends, 2 cousins and my parents are always going to ride with me.

I have some good people around me and I do my best for them too.

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Notthatcatagain · 06/01/2024 23:21

2, husband and wife team,she and I are both in poor health with similar conditions. But we would ride or die for each other. My DH, generally a pretty daft old fart but has kept me alive for a good while now. He's not the most useful in many ways but has really pulled everything out of the bag for me lately. My SIL I think, I could ask her for help and be pretty confident

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HangingOver · 06/01/2024 23:23

One. She's my favourite thing. Whenever I think about her I smile. I've no idea what I did to deserve a friend like her but I'm grateful every day.

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