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AIBU?

To ask how many of your friends you think are ‘Ride or die’ friends

174 replies

Girlsgirlsgirls123 · 06/01/2024 12:18

I saw a thread a while ago about the idea that most friendships are just ‘situational’ in which you’ll be friends with people out of ease (live in the same area, go to the same school, same job etc). Furthermore, my elderly dad (in the context of someone becoming unwell so moving back to their hometown) said that he found that a lot of the time ‘friends’ tend to evaporate in times of crisis. This got me thinking how many of your friends would you say are ‘ride or die’ friends who would stick by you through thick and thin and wouldn’t just evaporate when things got hard? 

OP posts:
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NC098765 · 06/01/2024 14:08

Just family I think. My DH, siblings and parents - and I hope my kids when they're adults. I have nice friends that care but I wouldn't say they'd help bury a body or anything haha.

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Malarandras · 06/01/2024 14:10

All of my alleged friends proved to be fair weather friends when my husband died. Now I only trust family fully.

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PandaBreedingProgramme · 06/01/2024 14:15

None.
I've been with my husband for 20 years and he's my ride or die.
If he does die, I'm fucked I guess 🤷

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TripleDaisySummer · 06/01/2024 14:19

None.

Even family haven't always been there.

It was DH and I against the world for a few bad years.

I think most of my friends have been situational DH had some that stuck - but now I'd say similar either in in work field or hobby field childhood ones fell away though it took decades.

Think IL few years ago would have said they had more than a few - bad times hit - and frankly people melted away really fast and it was family - siblings cousins who were there. DH has no siblings and I'm distant from mine and neither of us have the shared history our parents had with their cousins.

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RandomMess · 06/01/2024 14:28

None, I have no one, not even DH.

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CoodleMoodle · 06/01/2024 14:38

I have one friend, DH and DM.

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Jackfrostnippingatmynose · 06/01/2024 14:39

Two who live close by. I had a recent bereavement last year and even close family vanished once the funeral was over (unless it has been to enquire how probate was progressing - very obviously asking as they are hoping for a handout!)

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Hiddendoor · 06/01/2024 14:45

I hate the term, it always strikes me as something 20 year old congratulate themselves about at 4am after a hard night clubbing.

I have a few friends who have supported me when I needed to offload. I tend not to ask for practical help in things as I've been let down by family so don't really feel comfortable asking unrelated people for help.

I have helped a few friends who then went on to thank other people as their "ride or dies" which made me laugh a bit.

I don't know, friends is friends. I don't really want them to feel compelled to drop their lives for me.

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TiredBefuddledRose · 06/01/2024 14:52

3.
I know because I had An extremely bad situation happen that was of my doing and those friends are the only ones who stood by me.
At the time I had other friends who I would have categorised as a lot closer than 2 of the above. Boy was I wrong.

Because of this I am now ride or die for all my friends

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Bladwdoda · 06/01/2024 14:58

I suspect I would be surprised. I think there’s be some acquaintances who would step up and some long term friends who would disappear

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Feverish · 06/01/2024 15:14

4

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LateMumma · 06/01/2024 15:48

None now. A couple of years ago I thought I had a handful of them, but I was wrong

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Ohnotyoutoo · 06/01/2024 15:49

Three friends + family

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51Pegasusb · 06/01/2024 15:58

One friend and my DH.
With my friend, our friendship is almost 40 years old, we live in different countries to each other. We've both had some crisis moments in our lives over those years and have moved heaven and earth to be there for each other and still would.

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ILoveMoonDaisies · 06/01/2024 17:11

True lifelong friends are rare but precious.
My best friend died and I'll miss her forever. My DH and I have been going through a crisis for the past six months. Three of my longstanding friends are being very supportive, as have my neighbours. But my friend who lives around the corner has apparently been too busy to see me or phone the whole time... it's so upsetting and just adds pain to an already painful situation 😭

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Jellybean85 · 06/01/2024 17:28

None,

But I genuinely believe either DH or I would do anything to save each other or our kids

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abbey44 · 06/01/2024 17:44

Been in that situation….four. Two go back forty years, the other two twenty. It’s eye-opening to see how quickly some so-called friends evaporate in a crisis. (Usually the ones who say “if there’s ever anything you need…” 🙄)

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MRSMTO · 06/01/2024 17:45
  1. One being a friend and the other my sister. The latter would so literally anything I needed her to do.
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ElaineMBenes · 06/01/2024 17:49

4/5 of my friends.
But we're very close, more like family.

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sprigatito · 06/01/2024 17:50

I have one. We've been friends since we were 12 and she's more like family really.

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Nonplusultra · 06/01/2024 17:53

None.
Which is not at all what I would have predicted.

And family have been amazing - despite the difficulties within those relationships.

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Fionaville · 06/01/2024 17:57

My DH, parents and brother would be there for me no matter what.
If I had a crisis, illness, death in the family, probably 3 friends would be there in everyway.
If I made a massive mistake and committed a crime, probably just my DH and family.

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NestaArcheron · 06/01/2024 18:02

I have 8 close friends that are my found family, none are connected and all friendships span between 10-30 years.
Of all of them 5/8 are help bury the body friends.
The other 3 would be extremely hard to persuade away from my side, but I think it could be done, whereas the other 5 would take a bullet for me and vice versa.

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MumTeacherofMany · 06/01/2024 18:02
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Topsy44 · 06/01/2024 18:06

From experience, one.

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