To ask why the hate for boys?

[Numberttwotwo]

I know this has probably been discussed before. But I seem to come across something every day that makes me feel less worthy, someone to pity and just a bit shit.
I have 2 boys. They are kind, gentle, loving and the best of friends.
So why are my friends (really ‘good’ very longstanding friends) and strangers making comments that make me feel like this. Granted they’re comments about ‘boys’ and not MY boys.
I’ve been told (by a friend with one of each) that mums of boys won’t matter when they’re married and sons will be closer to the in laws.
I was told by a friend’s husband they HAD to find out the sex at 20 weeks because they’d have been soooo disappointed if it was a boy. (In front of my boys)
I was told yesterday (also in front of them) that my friend had been put off EVER having a boy by the behaviour of her nephew.
And this is not including all mentions of trying for a girl whenever we talk about possibly having a third.
I wish I had better ways of responding in the moment but for some reason I always bite my tongue.

YABU - boys are the worst and I pity anyone with more than one.
YANBU - the world should just parent their children and stop with the stupid comments based on nothing more than genitals

Rant over.

It definitely is centred around men.

in an attempt to make some women you don’t know change their opinions, so it’s more palatable to you, you became homophobic. Or at least let your mask slip.

What will you do if your girls end up being doc marten wearing, shaved head girls?

Not all girls like pink, pretty princess stuff. I HATED shit like that snd still do

An all women camp wouldn’t make them lesbians.

Agreed, you articulated what I was thinking much better than I could have.

That's the second time on this thread you've referred to my contributions on other threads. In the latter case you (a little creepily tbh) seem to have better recall than I, as I can't remember what I said on that thread. Probably that it sounded like a nice idea to live with a bunch of other women. Highly unlikely I linked that to hating men.

There seems to be a ‘boy’ problem at my DCs school - I am very familiar with the children in 6 classes at the primary school my DC go to and there are behavioural issues in each of those classes and always to do with boys. Granted there are more boys than girls in all those classes. There are some really nice and well behaved boys in all of those classes as well, of course, but in each of those 6 classes there are groups of disruptive and badly behaved children, all of which are unfortunately boys, and who give boys in general a bad name - in these classes at least.
maybe the friends you mention have similar experiences, but it’s a shame they can’t see that it’s not always the case with boys and that they would say that to you and your boys. I’m sure you’re doing a great job with your boys OP and I hope you don’t take their comments to heart too much.

I agree with pp - the friends with strong female families- sisters seemed devastated to have all boys. Is it wanting to reproduce the family dynamic you had as a child? I have one brother so liked the thought of 2 of the same sex in the hope that they would be close.

Both myself and dh come from boy heavy families. I had no preference, but was expecting to have all boys ( maybe subconsciously due to that?). I had two girls and I've had lots of questions of whether we will 'try for a boy'. People are weird.

It’s hilarious

Pointing out someone is being homophobic isn’t uptight. That’s such a dated view.

i am not surprised you have friends who are homophobic. Even have internalised homophobia. Birds of a feather and all that.

But yes ‘I have lesbian friends who’s aren’t as dramatic as you’ as though lesbians are famous for being dramatic, is funny.

repeatedly pointing out you have lesbian friends is the sign of a bigot. it’s famously what people say when they have been caught out being homophobic/ racist and so on. Pointing out, several times that you definitely have friends that are female and they feel the same as you - hilarious.

If you were actually paying attention, I haven’t given an opinion on hating men or men hating women.

You were homophobic and called you out on it.

You insisting you have friends is irrelevant

I can’t believe some of these comments exist in the year 2024! Children are all so unique; I have two boys and my youngest son has a lot of attributes one might associate more typically with girls and then my oldest son is more of a boisterous boy, but is incredibly feminine looking! I grew up with a girl who was into all the princess gear pre teens (whilst I was a massive tomboy) and then post puberty she became a football coach who fancied girls and I became a boy obsessed ballet dancer 😂 we are still good pals 30 years later. I’m currently expecting my third and was fully open and ready to embrace another boy; the only thing that worried me, as per OP, was other people assuming I was disappointed… BIL was already saying, “you’ll have to go again if it’s another boy” .. knowing this is absolutely the final child. Anyway, it’s a girl and I’m excited to meet the next soul joining us - I have no expectations of mini me, princess dresses, a best friend for life or nail bar dates!

Honestly what kind of people are making this comments to a mother of two boys.

Yes you are.

You do if they think like you. Which is what you said.

I am boring yet you keep asking me questions? 😂😂😂😂

Why is it important to that I like men?

I do actually like plenty of men. But why is that so important to you?

Why did you think it was ok to be homophobic and why bring lesbians into this at all?

You decided to bring lesbians into it and invalidate female same sex attraction. Reducing lesbians to women who simply hate men so have sex with other women as there’s no other option is homophobic.

Of course I am defensive about lesbians. Why wouldn’t I be when someone is being homophobic?

The thread isn’t about boy children. this thread is about comments people make about(in the op’s case) boy children. Even the op later admitted that her Dad got the same in reverse about having girls. So proved themselves it’s not specific to boys. The discussion is about people making stupid comments based on a child sex. Comments made to parents of boys, girls and both have been discussed.

At no point has this thread ever been just for people who don’t want baby boys. It’s talked about preference of sex of both sexes. Reasons why. People recalling what has been said to them about both sexes.

You don’t get to decide who posts what. And you are going to be homophobic, people will challenge you. It’s that simple.

Why do you need to know so much about me? I don’t want anymore kids. Boys or girls. My kids are fairly grown and are great.

Creepy as fuck to ask people who they like having sex with. Genuinely creepy.

Again, you are trying to make this entirely centred around men. Who said we can only talk about baby boys?

It’s not about be being offended. It’s about you being homophobic.