To think my DH is being a big girls blouse about the the washing?

[KarenNotAKaren]

For years my DH Has allegedly been sensitive to wet washing - it makes him sneeze, wheeze and gives him itchy eyes. Apparently. He’s getting worse - when I simply take the washing out the machine he says within 30 seconds “Have you taken the washing out? It’s getting to my eyes already!” 🙄

I actually did an experiment in our last house. We had a kitchen living room open plan thing and when he was watching TV I very quietly unloaded the washing machine (he couldn’t see, TV was on loud too so couldn’t hear either) and left it all by the machine, and left the room. Came back 20 minutes later and he didn’t complain one bit or even clock on that he was in the same room as a pile of wet washing.

He won’t line dry his things because it makes his eyes itchy (🤷‍♀️). I can’t even have a sock drying on the radiator because it makes him sneeze apparently. I’d LOVE a heated airer as we spend an absolute fortune on tumble drying, but he’d make a right song and dance no doubt. Tumble drying is the only way he will dry his clothes. Even if I line dry mine he gets all dramatic if I come too close - “Oh god has that top been line dried - my eyes are itchy!”.

Weve just moved into a new home that has an integral washer/dryer. Well it doesn’t actually fucking dry anything? The ‘dryer’ part is a massive lie, so he wants to buy a separate washing machine AND dryer because apparently “I can’t live in a house with a condenser dryer it get to my eyes nose and lungs”. I sneered at him and he got really annoyed. I’d rather just stick with what we have and line dry things or get a heated airer.

I know I sound unsympathetic but I think he’s being so dramatic - I’ve asked his mum and he didn’t grow up with a tumble dryer, everything was dried on heaters and the washing line. He somehow survived childhood unscathed and his mum said he never had any issues. Yet as an adult all this OTT sneezing and “oh god it’s getting to my lungs that is” is going on - I just think he is being an attention seeker. No asthma. No respiratory issues.

Am I a horrible cow who needs to understand his sensitivities better? Do other people suffer like this just from being in the same room as a freshly washed sock? I’ve never heard of a single person who can’t be around wet washing. Or is he being the drama llama I think he is?

@MoonWoman69 - I'm not saying they aren't raging feminists too but being "woke/pc" or having the old fashioned ignorance (ie not understanding/no knowledge as opposed to being stupid) is not the same thing. It's amazing how much stuff can get lost in translation over the course of a generation or two.

Ps. I am usually a feminist “snowflake” about things and very pro-calling out sexist bullshit, so I am genuinely fascinated and interested to learn that people think big girls blouse is an insult to females.
So thanks OP for the post, and sorry your husband is averse to the wet washing.

It doesn’t make any sense to prefer the drier - logically, surely the fresh air of a line dry gets rid of the detergent smell/ remains, whereas the tumble drier just sort of concentrates it in a hot box.

I've only read OP posts and there are only 2 so sorry if someone has already suggested this - get him to ring Allergy UK helpline (great charity), put it on speakerphone, you can speak to a nurse or clinical staff and they will tell you if this is even possible because it sounds like it simply can't be a "thing": https://www.allergyuk.org/our-services/helpline/

You don’t need different detergent or anything else. You need a husband who isn’t being a knob.

Offensive to who? Women who look to be offended/ triggered 😂by it?

Grow up

The weird thing is - he’s ex-Army. So the rain question is an interesting one - he used to literally sleep in puddles when on exercise, he’s braved the most dangerous terrorists in the world and he’s lived for weeks in inhumane conditions.

Honestly, I think this is key. Tiny example: I once had a job that entailed testing that electric fences were working round miles and miles of land. Literally hold a hollow stalk against it, wait for the shock, which come in pulses, to see if it was working. It was a reduced shock because of the stalk, but still a jolt. The waiting for a second or two, not knowing when or if it was working or when exactly the pulse would come became nerve wracking. Instead of becoming relaxed and casual about minor electric shocks because we were used to it, we became hyper sensitive. It got worse and worse through the day. I still physically shudder when I se even a wire fence, 20 years later.

Is he traumatised and has he unconsciously fixed it on washing?

We expect forces and ex forces folk be strong, manly etc, but it’s often unfair and unrealistic.

Before you blame and ridicule him further I Think is worth a thought.

@WowzersSchnauzers , it's sexist and pokes fun at larger people.

I would like to postulate the hypothesis that he took it to his mum.

A while back I worked shifts and threw a tantrum upon finding out that my.mum did my brothers laundry because 'it was hard for him not having a wife to go it.' I immediately reminded her that I neithet had a wife so she got my loads as well. Then my brother plumbed in the machine he'd had languishing in the kitchen for the past 5 yrs.

I am so coming back as a man.

And? So what?

The society we live in is full of real wimps. You do know that you can look at things a different way yes? Actually find the humour in old sayings - or just ignore them

So many expression that people can take offence to - (Best close your eyes now or you may well freak out) Can you imagine if men took offence as easily?

Straw man - WHAT??? HOW DARE PEOPLE SAY MEN ARE MADE OF STRAW
Hitman - - WHAT? ARE THERE NO WOMEN IN CRIME?
Confidence man - HOW RUDE, ARE WOMEN PERFECT THEN??

etc etc

So boring to keep taking offence when none is meant.

@WowzersSchnauzers , there does not need to be an intention to offend for something to be offensive.

A boil wash, even a 60c wash, would kill that in the machine instantly. Not remove the black staining but kill the mould spores themselves.

as a mould allergy sufferer. Wet washing straight from the machine within a few hours of the programme finishing would not be producing spores - they would be soaking wet and not mobile - and certainly and the washing doesn’t flare up my allergy. (Runny nose and irritable cough)

Washing left damp for a week would smell musty and mouldy and potentially produce spores. Damp on windows and walls that’s persistent would cause mould.

because the op is tumble drying it’s highly unlikely to be a mould issue as she’s not leaving damp washing to dry increasing the humidity.

if it was a mould allergy (which we’ve established isn’t likely) a dehumidifier would be needed as well to bring down the relative humidity and prevent mould. And the reaction would be persistent not just when washing is taken out the machine.

he could be reacting to Humidity from the washing but this too is unlikely. If the Humidty is 70% in my house (70 yrs old, damp and ventilation is an issue) i find it hard to breathe. Pulling washing from a machine isn’t going to make Humidity jump to 70% and dissipate rapidly as soon as the dryer is on.

its not detergents used, tumble dryers don’t remove residual detergent. Repeated rinsing and changing detergents would reduce reactions.

I’m actually inclined to say he’s allergic to his own bullshit. And housework. But that’s just me

Could be that the “damp” aroma sets off some kind of traumatic memory

I see what you mean about the mould. But if OP doesn’t wash at 60°, when the washing started drying out, some mould spores might come off it? Then if her DH reacts to mould he might get bad associations with wet washing and start reacting to it psychologically even before it started drying out?

No, tumble drying doesn’t remove perfume, but it does evaporate off water containing it fast so that it’s not in the air around the washing for hours. (I hate strong scents and I’d certainly much prefer tumble drying if anyone used scented detergent near me.)

Not saying either of those is definitely the problem, just wondering.

sounds like he doesnt want to be roped in to do the washing

Has he never done laundry? Did he go from living with his parents to living with you? How was it managed before you were in his life?

He’s been in the military. Probably done more ironing than most of us. Ironing-avoiders like me, anyway.

I’d do all of his washing happily if he did all of the ironing. However, military or not I would expect him to have done a load of washing at some point in his life.

I suspect @TeaGinandFags has hit the nail on the head. Mummy did it.

Stop being a big wet pair of men's pants

Better?

@ToMeToYouAndBack , small boy's vest.

I find bgb offensive because it seems like it's the blouse is poked fun at only because the girl is big, and that large breasts or body are to be ridiculed.

No it doesn't. Try educating yourself first. Nothing to do with larger people at all 🙄

@watcherintherye said it's meaning but c/p here for ease.
It’s a fact that blouses - traditionally an item of clothing worn by females - are usually made from softer, less robust fabric than shirts - traditionally an item of clothing worn by males. The ‘big’ isn’t an insult to plus sizes! If you called someone a ‘big baby’, the ‘big’ would be referring to the person you’re talking to, not insulting overweight babies!

That the original meaning was not intended to be offensive does not mean that it isn't offensive.

Calling someone a big baby is offensive too.

Oh good grief.... 🙄

I find your posts offensive. What are you going to do about that?

@AutumnFroglets , If you find that post offensive then you might have underlying issues.

Sound like a control issue -

I'm sorry, I haven't been keeping track, have you actually added any meaningful advice on this thread, or do you just scroll through threads waiting to be offended, then feel the, frankly unnecessary, need to comment? It seems to me you'd be offended by anything. The fact that the saying BGB has been explained several times throughout this thread and you among others, choose to keep feeling offended, I can see where the true problem lies! I bid you a good weekend

What are the connotations??