To think my DH is being a big girls blouse about the the washing?

[KarenNotAKaren]

For years my DH Has allegedly been sensitive to wet washing - it makes him sneeze, wheeze and gives him itchy eyes. Apparently. He’s getting worse - when I simply take the washing out the machine he says within 30 seconds “Have you taken the washing out? It’s getting to my eyes already!” 🙄

I actually did an experiment in our last house. We had a kitchen living room open plan thing and when he was watching TV I very quietly unloaded the washing machine (he couldn’t see, TV was on loud too so couldn’t hear either) and left it all by the machine, and left the room. Came back 20 minutes later and he didn’t complain one bit or even clock on that he was in the same room as a pile of wet washing.

He won’t line dry his things because it makes his eyes itchy (🤷‍♀️). I can’t even have a sock drying on the radiator because it makes him sneeze apparently. I’d LOVE a heated airer as we spend an absolute fortune on tumble drying, but he’d make a right song and dance no doubt. Tumble drying is the only way he will dry his clothes. Even if I line dry mine he gets all dramatic if I come too close - “Oh god has that top been line dried - my eyes are itchy!”.

Weve just moved into a new home that has an integral washer/dryer. Well it doesn’t actually fucking dry anything? The ‘dryer’ part is a massive lie, so he wants to buy a separate washing machine AND dryer because apparently “I can’t live in a house with a condenser dryer it get to my eyes nose and lungs”. I sneered at him and he got really annoyed. I’d rather just stick with what we have and line dry things or get a heated airer.

I know I sound unsympathetic but I think he’s being so dramatic - I’ve asked his mum and he didn’t grow up with a tumble dryer, everything was dried on heaters and the washing line. He somehow survived childhood unscathed and his mum said he never had any issues. Yet as an adult all this OTT sneezing and “oh god it’s getting to my lungs that is” is going on - I just think he is being an attention seeker. No asthma. No respiratory issues.

Am I a horrible cow who needs to understand his sensitivities better? Do other people suffer like this just from being in the same room as a freshly washed sock? I’ve never heard of a single person who can’t be around wet washing. Or is he being the drama llama I think he is?

I had a friend who was dramatic about being allergic to my dog.
I would have sympathised if it wasn't for the fact that I too am allergic to some dogs and picked my dog on the basis she is very unlikely to cause allergies
Friends dd now owns a dog, the type which would cause me severe allergic reactions.
Friend has photos of him with said dog on his lap all the time.
I will never believe he's allergic to any dogs.

I'm not being funny about his allergy, as I'm allergic to heat and exercise
But I've spent the past 37 years back and forward between dermatology, immunology, doctors, consultants and it's a very visible allergy which I can be seen taking medication for!

Argh he sounds unbearable! I would’ve lost my patience by now and insisted he gets tested before I make any more changes to how I do the washing.

I assumed your use of “big girls blouse” was a pun - if it was, bravo, I enjoyed it! If it wasn’t, I still wasn’t offended by it, no need for PPs to get their knickers in a twist 😉

I wouldn't say big girl's blouse. I agree he is a twat though!

What does he say when you tell him the washing that he's so terribly allergic to has been sat there for ages without a single reaction from him??

PS, I did have to chuckle at the ad that came up on my screen as I read this thread

I love the expression Victorian maiden, I will channel this energy myself for 2024 misses point entirely.

I know it must be wearing if he moans a lot but whether this is an allergy or a phobia it is real to him. You sound very unsympathetic (sneeering!).

I have a laundry room upstairs where I dry clothes on airers and if I don’t keep the door shut my teen son sometimes has an allergy reaction which includes itchy eyes, runny nose, feeling like he is breathing in dust/damp. If it happens (which is rare as I keep the door shut) he just takes an antihistamine. It is more likely to happen if he is over tired.

Knowing something was line dried or objecting to it seems a bit much and more like a phobia. You would think that washing was better being dried in the fresh air and out of the house.

Sounds like a bloody ruse so he doesn’t have to do any washing to me. Lucky with his “allergies” he has a maid to do all this for him. How would he cope living alone?

Me too, but I live with an extremely overzealous and generous applicator.

When I was living independently I still used fabric softener and radiator dried and had no ill effects.

I think it is just the perfumes as walking past lush and other highly scented shops also sends me into a wheeze.

I can’t have Formil in the house.

However, OP, I suspect that your DH’s extreme experiences have now caused him to be hyper sensitive to all sorts of things rather than immune. This happens with trauma. Look at all the trigger warnings on MN.

It sounds as if he is nervous and sensitive to anything changing in his environment.

He might be sure he is OK, holding it all together in other ways, but has become sensitive in this way.

Might this be what is going on?

I'd refuse to wash his clothes. I'd do mine when he's not there and ignore all moaning

Did you tell him about the wet washing

My husband is also annoying about washing so now it’s his ‘thing’ and he does all the family washing.

@Dibbydoos
Is that all you got mainly 🤔 from @KarenNotAKaren mumsnet thread then?

How offensive the word Big girls blouse is then,

Classic virtue signalling at its finest that you are so easily offended triggered by that comment.!

I noticed you and the others on this mumsnet thread, who are so easily offended about this Big girls comment,

Are not getting worked up in a lather and easily offended and triggered by the the fact that her husband does not do a bit of research use his brain cells that he got and find out which are the most suitable beneficial clothes washing detergents out there ,

Why aren't you offended about that he is sexist husband expecting his wife 🤔 to allways do his clothes washing,

why can't he get off his lazy back side arse for a refreshing change and actually make an effort to do his own clothes washing if he is that particular about things like that cause of his allergies then?

It's quite weird how you miss that point isn't it the easily selectively triggered when its suits you offended by allmost anything bridgade,

I think @KarenNotAKaren husband is a sexist lazy Big girls blouse ,
i agree with you,

Hope that comment gets you worked up in a lather the classic virtue signalling nonsense society
Makes me laugh that 🤣 you are not banging on about that point i made how sexist her husband is too.

He’s faking it so he doesn’t have to do the laundry. Start faking allergy to cooker heat so you don’t have to make any more meals.

This.

I'd be doing my own washing and leave him to do his at his leisure. After all how would he cope if you weren't there to do it? What's his solution? Laundromat for everything?

Either that or tested experiments to determine what it is he is "allegic" too, after all, your blind test resulted in no reaction... maybe do another, filmed, so it's proven, and then record some kind of video with him and washing in the background. ta-daaaa suck it up buttercup!

the heated clothes airers are not very good....took absolutely ages to dry the washing. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ Only dries stuff if I drape one item across all the bars 🤔
I thought this till my son came home and dried a full load in the same time just by hanging a duvet cover over the whole thing. It makes no logical sense to me as it keeps the wet in as well as the heat, but I promise it works.

OP if you're not using a tumble drier you don't need fabric softener, so that might make it smell less. I hate perfumed laundry products.

@KarenNotAKaren

@Dibbydoos

I think 🤔 what the issue is mainly is here on this mumsnet thread is he needs to do an allergies tests and he needs to sort out i can't be arsed to make an effort even if it benefits myself
Cause my wife is like my pseudo mother and that's what women are good at in our society washing their husband's clothes and doing housekeeping,

Maybe its because he a man, that he is struggling to consirder get his head around multi task cause its traditionally a females household task.

Hope i get at least some comments 😅 that what i said I'd iffy offensive,

i will be a bit disappointed if i don't...

No such thing as a boys blouse as that item is called a shirt. Perhaps we can no longer say others are shirty when it means bad tempered or annoyed because it's soooo mean to men?

OP - others have asked a very good question, what is he like with wet towels after a shower, or getting caught in the rain?

There's no dog breed which is unlikely to cause allergies. That is a myth:
https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/family-resources-education/700childrens/2020/11/myth-hypoallergenic-dog

I'm not commenting on your friend because it is possible, of course, that people come to believe things which are not actually true in terms of their health (with allergies, or anything else) but it's important for those people who do suffer with allergies not to promote myths.

Tell him to take charge of the washing himself or take it back and forth to the laundrette himself. He will soon stop being so absurd.

@KarenNotAKaren following on from @Dustpantsandbush insightful comment,

why don't you pretend you are allergic to dust mites so you can get out of doing any of the cleaning and hoovering household tasks too.

so you can have a well earned break for doing stuff like that and do other stuff at your leisure too...

I think Op needs to be more switched on about this to her benefit 🤔 aswell..

Wow I’ve literally never thought of it like that. Interesting. Ok so to me, Big in this context means “extreme” or over the top like oh he’s being a big baby or he is making a big fuss, for instance. Not literally the size of the blouse or the girl.
If anything I always thought it was a rather self-aware, critical reflection on the uselessness and superficiality of women’s clothing versus men’s. A man’s shirt is tough and important, for working hard, a girl’s blouse is thin, weak and silly.

I thought we were all in on the joke!

This! Thank you for clarifying this! Raging feminists on the loose again I see?! Never mind the actual crux of the question OP posted, no, let's all just jump on the bandwagon of sexism/insults! Which, as you so deftly and conscisely explained, isn't that at all! There seems to be a growing number of "dungaree wearing, grow your own yoghurt, knit your own veg types" on MN that seem intent on needlessly commenting on posts, that bear absolutely no relation to the main question!!! Snowflakes everywhere, who don't stop to think about what was actually implied... Big girls blouse, denigrating women?! Get a fkn grip!!!

But as previous posters have said, it’s not that the girl is weak but the material of the blouse.

To be fair @MoonWoman69 most insults are degenerating to women in some way, so it’s not a huge leap, just an issue of how people differently interpret the wording.

YABU - big girls blouse. Shame on you for using such an offensive expression.