To think my DH is being a big girls blouse about the the washing?

[KarenNotAKaren]

For years my DH Has allegedly been sensitive to wet washing - it makes him sneeze, wheeze and gives him itchy eyes. Apparently. He’s getting worse - when I simply take the washing out the machine he says within 30 seconds “Have you taken the washing out? It’s getting to my eyes already!” 🙄

I actually did an experiment in our last house. We had a kitchen living room open plan thing and when he was watching TV I very quietly unloaded the washing machine (he couldn’t see, TV was on loud too so couldn’t hear either) and left it all by the machine, and left the room. Came back 20 minutes later and he didn’t complain one bit or even clock on that he was in the same room as a pile of wet washing.

He won’t line dry his things because it makes his eyes itchy (🤷‍♀️). I can’t even have a sock drying on the radiator because it makes him sneeze apparently. I’d LOVE a heated airer as we spend an absolute fortune on tumble drying, but he’d make a right song and dance no doubt. Tumble drying is the only way he will dry his clothes. Even if I line dry mine he gets all dramatic if I come too close - “Oh god has that top been line dried - my eyes are itchy!”.

Weve just moved into a new home that has an integral washer/dryer. Well it doesn’t actually fucking dry anything? The ‘dryer’ part is a massive lie, so he wants to buy a separate washing machine AND dryer because apparently “I can’t live in a house with a condenser dryer it get to my eyes nose and lungs”. I sneered at him and he got really annoyed. I’d rather just stick with what we have and line dry things or get a heated airer.

I know I sound unsympathetic but I think he’s being so dramatic - I’ve asked his mum and he didn’t grow up with a tumble dryer, everything was dried on heaters and the washing line. He somehow survived childhood unscathed and his mum said he never had any issues. Yet as an adult all this OTT sneezing and “oh god it’s getting to my lungs that is” is going on - I just think he is being an attention seeker. No asthma. No respiratory issues.

Am I a horrible cow who needs to understand his sensitivities better? Do other people suffer like this just from being in the same room as a freshly washed sock? I’ve never heard of a single person who can’t be around wet washing. Or is he being the drama llama I think he is?

We won't be able to say anything soon. Someone called your DH a massive baby , is that babyist ? Another poster mentioned a clothes horse , is that animalist ?

No , of course not . People need to stop taking offence at the slightest thing .

It is perpetuating toxic masculinity all whilst using women, femininity, feminine clothing and being plus-sized as an insult.

It’s a fact that blouses - traditionally an item of clothing worn by females - are usually made from softer, less robust fabric than shirts - traditionally an item of clothing worn by males. The ‘big’ isn’t an insult to plus sizes! If you called someone a ‘big baby’, the ‘big’ would be referring to the person you’re talking to, not insulting overweight babies!

I’d be wondering if this is a form of weaponised incompetence and his ‘allergy’ basically means he can never do the washing.

What does he do if he has to do his own washing!

I am leaning towards this being a psychological "allergy" rather than physical, perhaps linked to some of the awful of conditions he had to ensure and survive as part of his military service.

Just because it's not physical doesn't make it any less real to him, and it would explain why no symptoms when he is unaware of the washing.

Trauma can exhibit in strange and unexpected ways.

I would think the first port of call could be one of the helplines for ex military to arrange someone to discuss the issue with.

Impossible to tell until they’ve tried totally un-scented products.

A female colleague berated another by telling her to "grow some".

A couple of people have asked how he reacts to damp towels after a shower?

That may be true. But girl´s blouse, Victorian maiden etc.?

These term do have a gender-related component / relate to either being an item associated with women (or girls) or being a woman.

Using associations with femininity (or being feminine) as an insult... Well, I do find it rather unpleasant.

Ok we get it - some people are offended by the innocent error of the use of big girls blouse. This thread isn’t about big girls blouses so if you want to discuss it why not start your own thread so the rest of us can focus on making suggestions that might actually be helpful to the OP. I’m sure she considers herself duly chastised.

Kind of goes with the username too doesn't it!

I agree with others that he needs to go for allergy testing to rule out an actual intolerance.

DH is a big girl's blouse

Wow - managing to be both misogynistic and misandrous in the same statement. That's quite a feat!

Put him in charge of the washing and drying. You should offer to do all the cooking or dish washing or something in return. This trial won’t last long. He is kidding himself

I think you have to be seen to be helping him with his problem.
Get a better tumble dryer.
Include him in the 'search' for a better laundry solution. Get him to smell the washing powder , liquid etc.
We use non bio fairy and no conditioner or softener.
Wet clothing lying around can be bad for people with allergies and cause damp issues. I notice that damp clothes take on other scents from cooking etc
Get a decent dehumidifier for when you have to dry things indoors.
Line drying smells nice but again takes on the pollutants snd pollen from outside.

Get him to see a Doctor about allergies and seek advice from one of the ex military support groups.

I hate the smell of wet towels in the bathroom.

His allergy is real to him!

Or husband.

But surely if it was the detergent it would be the same if tumble dried?
He's moaning about wet washing and line dry washing so.. it's not wet!

Omg, l have just put my washing from the washing machine into the dryer and my eyes are stinging and watering a bit from reading this, it’s never happened before, l think l have caught his symptoms 🤣

Firstly stop using derogatory descriptors that do nothing but put females down.
Secondly, YABU. If it affected your health you wouldn't do it would you? And btw it's not the wetness, it's tge fabric conditioner or ruminants of washing powder that's affecting him. You might want to try different brands.
Get a drier that works or put up a decent shed, add a dehumidifier and dry in there.

@Gingerbee

Maybe you know with the costs of living crisis and spent 🤔 out with Christmas time,

@KarenNotAKaren

Just hasn't got a bean no wonga money 😕 to rush out and get her husband the latest expensive upgrade washing machine to pander to his whims or his maybe allergies,

even he has got a allergy to do with clothes washing detergents he shouldn't expect her to do this,

It's quite simple the remedy he finds suitable detergents that are beneficial for him they are out there,
he needs to do a bit of research and do his own clothes washing would make himself more useful in their house,
instead @KarenNotAKaren cause she is female expecting her allways to be the go to person to allways do the household clothes washing, 😤

How sexist is that then,

From the great big girls blouse one.!

He is quite happy no problem in actively practicing convient and beneficial everyday rolesc sexism such as that, when it suits him by constantly being whiny ,
but can't get off his sexist robust arse of his to address his allergy issues,

How beneficial to be like that and pretend you haven't got the ability to get off his back side and make an effort...

I’ve got a Neff washer dryer - vented not condensing - and I have to say I’m very happy with it. It’s a very good dryer as well as washer.

I had to leave behind separate Miele washing machine and dryer which I would be hard but I don’t really notice any difference other than slightly smaller range of programmes.

If he was allergic to the fabric conditioner or detergent, surely it's still there after tumble drying? I think he's being a bit of a knob.

Oh, FFS!

🙄

OP, have you checked the washing machine for mould?

I had a problem with mould round the door seal, and my washing machine engineer told me that some liquid detergents cause that.

I think tumble drying would probably kill at least some of the mould, so that wet washing hanging up would give off more mould spores than tumble dried washing.

Have you tried unscented detergents like this range?
https://www.ecoverdirect.com/departments/zero.aspx?deptid=ZERO&gad_source=1

I realise you did an experiment with leaving wet washing in the room with him when he was watching TV, but could he have been distracted by a particularly exciting programme at that time?? One trial is not really enough.

If there is no problem with mould or perfume, it could be psychological and then it would be worth looking at treatment.

😂