Adult child not wanting to pay their way

[Cazzalou]

18 months ago my daughter spilt up from the BF and moved back home with me.
We agreed that she would pay £500 a month for rent and bills. We live in London.
Now she and BF are back together and are hoping to buy somewhere out in Kent.
She would like to reduce her monthly payments to £300 a month so she can save for the deposit on a new home.
This could take a long time.
Should I agree the reduction or keep it at £500?
Is daughter taking me for a ride?
I'm an almost retired nurse and my monthly income has reduced as I have reduced my working hours to 30 per week.
Am I being mean if I say no?

I'm aware but was speaking in general terms, some on here seem to see their adult children as nothing but burdens. I hate the "well life's cruel so tough" attitude so many people have. Same could be said for old age, so lets hope the kids don't take after the parents....

I swear some people would charge their dogs rent if they could.

I would keep it at £500 but put majority of it away for her....taking out a portion to go towards extra costs re her living with you (food/heating). I wouldn't have thought it would cost you £500 more each month for your daughter to live with you 🤔

The Dd is 26 year old teacher. I'm sure she can organise a savings account herself and doesn't need her mum to organise her finances.

why would council tax increase? isn't it just one fee based on the house banding?

why would council tax increase? isn't it just one fee based on the house banding?

If there's only one person living there there's a 25% reduction for single occupancy. More than one and it's full whack.

If you want to make money from your own kids then go ahead and charge them 100s a month. It's not the way I'd do it though.

She wouldn't necessarily live in London if her mother wasn't there. Plus, landlords rent to make a profit rather than just cover costs.

She has a job and boyfriend in London too @coffeeaddict77

If you can afford them costing you 100s a month then when your time comes you can.

My time has come and gone. I didn't reduce my hours at work like the OP because my kids made up the shortfall.

Charge her what it costs to have her there. When my son moved out, my electric, gas, food, and water rates dropped to approximately 1/3 of what they had been when he was there. My council tax dropped by 25%
I did take 'rent' off him because otherwise I was paying for him to be there and he was earning more than me and had disposable income whereas I would have had none due to the increased costs of him being there.
You don't have to profit off your adult child, but neither should you be out of pocket to subsidise another adult.

My electricity bill went down £140 per month and gas and water went down too as on meter. Also food shopping went down about £140 per month. I never charged for his room just the amount his living there cost. But his stepdad and I did gift him £55k towards his deposit on his house. He saved £10k and solicitors fees on his own.

I bet one of those £500 a month just pays the extra council tax mum has to pay because she's lost her single person rebate.

Once you take that into account mum's getting about £100 a week to cover the water bill, energy bill and food bill probably doubling. Possibly more than doubling.

London is very expensive now rent wise, my sister is looking to move further out and she has a professional occupation.
Also it’s much more difficult to buy a house now compared to when I was starting out with a first mortgage and these days, it’s not as simple as just saving up your pay. House prices have outpaced wages growth and home ownership relies increasingly much more on accumulated family assets being passed down, rather than getting a good job and setting yourself up.

I like the idea of saving the extra 200 pounds into a different account only if you can afford it, OP. There is another concern that your daughter is quickly moving into buying a house when she had recently separated from her BF. Has the break up issue truly been resolved?

That is a lot. I live in a four bedroom house and the total amount for gas and electricity is around 160 a month nowadays. It used to be a lot less. Is your house not insulated?

I wondered if the person replying had seen this DC was 26 and earning more than her Mum and also expecting her Mum to subsidise her boyfriend too 2-3 nights a week.

And the boyfriend part time too.

I used to charge my adult DS roughly how much it cost me to keep him. That was mainly because when he moved out, I didn't want to take too much of a financial hit. He moved out a few months ago and I haven't really missed his money at all, so am glad I made that decision.

It is insulated. ECP C rating. It's got 6 bedrooms. My electricity is now only about £250 a month. It was £400 a month whilst my youngest son lived here. I think his Aircon unit used a lot of electricity. I also no longer need the super fast broadband as DH and I only had it so DS could game. We only do a bit of internet shopping and banking. Also don't need Virgin media Sky Movies as DH and I don't watch them and got rid of the additional Virgin box in DS's bedroom too. All saving us money. We still have the Sport which is what we watch.

Despite having 6 bedrooms only 3 of us live here now. I'm desperate to downsize but DH refuses, but that's a different thread.

I dont think she’s taking you for a ride if she is covering her costs. Does she contribute to food on top of this. If not I’d add up how much extra your bills are (likely not much unless she’s in all the time you are not) plus any shopping etc. make sure that is covered and then see how much you want to charge her / help her out. She should be able to save either way as negligible rent costs but it would be nice to help more if you can, especially as it won’t cost you anything compared to her not being there

and what about the cost of her DDs food, extra hot water etc

My son is 24 takes home 45k and complains about paying £300 ( that’s with everything including deodorant shower gel ect .

Why do you buy it?

Very good question!
im possibly an idiot .