Do not want to look after someone's DC

[howan]

My DH's family member has 2 DCs. Second just turned 1 and is, obviously, hard work, so she v ofter 'organises' sleepovers AT OUR HOUSE for her older DC, who is 6 and lovely, but I am fed up with looking after them! DH thinks that it is 'lovely for cousins to spend time together' ( they are not even cousins!), but our DCs are 14 and 12, so do not have patience or will to entertain their younger 'cousin' all w/end. DH just announced that the child will be coming this Friday and i have just texted the mother that we are going to see my family, so that will not be possible. Mother texted back that 'the child is very upset'. Honestly, I don't give a damn 😤 No amount of talking to DH helps, as he thinks that we need to help, but I have not received any help when I had young DC, why should I'help' them now? AIBU to say no every time from now on? My DC are not interested in having their little ' cousin' for sleepover, either.

That was a good result. Now your dh can choose if he wants to babysit

Excellent result @howan - the first time of saying No! and following through is always hard but so rewarding for the future. Hope your father has a swift and full recovery. 🌹

Well done@howan
out of interest though, how did DH take this? Is he still sulking and acting like a 6 ur old?

Great update Op, well done!

Well done, standing up for yourself.

Absolutely the right thing. Now you have gone back to work your weekends are precious.

Well done! How is he taking it? Has he stopped sulking?

Well done OP. You did the right thing. You have a right to enjoy your own home and your own time with your own children without being landed with someone elses frequently.

Nah, she doesn't need to worry until he says, "I'll make you an offer you can't refuse." 😆😉

Bravo OP! Nicely done.

Now, be sure to tell him that you will be the one to decide just what constitutes an emergency, or he'll be calling an "emergency":
DNW needs to wash her hair
DNW needs to go shopping
DNW has dinner reservations
DNW is tired and has to take to bed
DNW is injured! Oh no, what happened? She got a hangnail! Oh shit!

etc. etc. etc.

Well done!

An OP with a backbone! A rare and wonderful thing 😁

Well done, howan, you've done a brilliant job asserting yourself. Family know now you aren't a pushover (including DH) and you will reap the benefit.

Say "we mostly have plans for weekends that won't work with a young child, but we'd still love to see them for sleepovers occasionally. We'll let you know when it will next work." Then make a big thing of it and have weekends when you and your kids all do things together that the 6 year old loves, but maybe 2-4 times a year.

Next time, let DH handle it and take yourself out for dinner and the cinema or to see your friends or whatever.

Why has an old thread been revived?🤔