Neighbours say they can only 'try' to control their child.

[sleeplessnights24]

I live in a new build. Everything has been ok, but the tenants upstairs have a 5 year old boy who doesn't stop stomping.

Running in the afternoon/normal hours is one thing, but this is in the early hours when people are clearly still asleep! It also happens in the middle of the night too...?! Surely a 5 year old can sleep through the night...? Also, why run if you're up that late?!

I noted the hours it happened. 5:30am, 5:40am, 6:30am - and weirdly 12:30am, 1:20am and 4:20am too. That's just in the last 3 weeks. On weekends it started at 6:50am and 5:40am. We are not just talking about brief periods of noise. It is often intermittent. The worst was 3:50am - which was intermittent until about 4:20am. Then again at 5:20am. Then at 7:30am. That night I didn't sleep at all since 3:50am.

Initially, all communications were fine. I only spoke up once I was at my wits end. I was polite - and so were they. No apology from their side though. They said they'd be mindful of the noise. Phew! I was grateful and hopeful to finally be able to sleep. I do not expect to live in silence (obviously), but stomping on your ceiling - when you're trying to sleep and it is still dark outside, is crazy.

A few months goes by... nothing changes. But because I had already complained once, I felt like I couldn't complain again... until I did.

Again, all polite from both sides. Said they'd be mindful. Ok.
Nothing changed again. Rinse & repeat. The noise - if anything - just got louder... so I spoke up again. Both sides nice and polite. They said it was 'confusing' that it was so loud. I asked multiple times if they'd like to come down and hear it for themselves as they didn't understand how it could be so disruptive. They ignored every invite to come listen.

They would say he 'only walks' on days I would be woken up in the morning - by running. They were/are defensive and looking for excuses. I get it. In many ways, I am not surprised. They kept saying they were 'being mindful' - but nothing ever changed. If the noise had reduced by 20% since I complained; at least that would be something. But there was literally no change.

I was transparent about having Bose headphones, white noise machines, etc... so they could see that I was doing things to drown out the noise from my side.

After 18 months of it happening on an almost daily basis, I complained to my building management Co. I had complained to management before - but their response was 'there's nothing we can do'. They didn't even pass on my sentiments to the owners of the flat.

This time I didn't relent - and asked them to pass/forward my email to the actual owners of the apartment upstairs. (Upstairs are renters). They did indeed forward my email to the owners.

I got a response saying the owners had spoken to their tenants - and the tenants have agreed to buy a rug and will 'try to control the movements of their child when possible'.

I took this as somewhat helpful - and was more angry that I was proven right in that what they'd done for the year prior - was nothing at all - certainly in terms of practical measures when they had told me there was nothing more they could do. Over the 18 months; there was one occasion where I (politely) asked what they had done to mitigate the noise... they didn't respond. (They have hardwood floors throughout).

For 8 weeks, they seemed to promptly stop the running in the middle of the night/early hours (which I only wanted stopped at unreasonable hours anyway) - but now we are back to square one it seems. I'm mindful of it being Winter (dark and awful weather outside) and also Christmas season, but I'm not sure why it keeps happening. They say the best they can do is 'try' to control it.

AIBU for not relenting and to keep complaining to management? The tenants have stopped opening my messages now.

What’s that going to achieve though? Encouraging OP to essentially try to get a family (who are clearly struggling as is) kicked to the curb? What a lovely thing to do.

Get better earplugs OP.

While you are entitled to quiet enjoyment of your home, children running around - even in the early hours - is considered normal living noise. It is not covered/ OP has no action in legal terms.

You’ve posted about this before haven’t you? I recall a very similar thread anyway, I think by the end of that thread you( or whoever posted) had just heard back from their landlord.

Anyway YANBU definitely complain. They’re being dishonest and not even trying to deal with the issue if they were point blank denying it’s happening until you spoke to their landlord. I’m sorry if their son has sleeping issues but at age 5, in most cases, they should be able to manage this so he isn’t running about at 4am. They were clearly able to stop it for 8 weeks so it’s possible. Keep raising it with the management and keep a log.

Hardwood per se isn't a problem. Hardwood installed without a proper underlay is, in which case even rugs on top won't help too much. Did you say the same floors are installed throughout the building? If so, maybe try and get a professional assessment. As a pp said, you might have a case against management/the neighbours' landlord. They really ought to rip the whole thing up and reinstall.

Noise and sleep deprivation are used as forms of torture.

OP has the right not to be kept awake at night.
They can put down soft thick flooring, if they really are unable to prevent the chikd stamping around. It may be expensive (though OP is so desperate she’s offered to pay), but they do not have the right to inflict this noise on neighbours.

OP, have you contacted the council? This nighttime noise goes beyond the reasonable sound you’d be expected to tolerate. Were they any use? You may have to contact your local councillor as well, and keep on hassling them.

To all the people saying 'what do you want them to do' and 'do you expect them to handcuff him to his bed' etc. I'd dread to live in your house. I have a 5 year old and a 10 year old. Both extremely active boys. We live in a flat with downstairs neighbours. I have strict rules on noise levels. No running indoors. No shouting across rooms. If you want someone you go and find them, you don't shout. No balls in the house. We were slippers that soften the impact of walking. We are no saints. My boys are very active but I try my very damned hardest to be cognisant of my neighbours. There is no way I would let my children cause any level of noise at anti sociable hours.

I'm sorry OP, it is awful.

I have rugs! Many of them! Plus soft furnishings and bookcases in my own place. I also have two white noise machine. I have three speakers - and as per my PPs - I also have Bose headphones.

They put down a rug in the bedroom - where he runs though - is the hallway. You can trace the running as you feel it from the back to the front of the flat as he goes. (To be clear, I offered to pay for the rugs with underlay, foam mats in the areas I knew about given the floorpan. I also offered to pay for carpeting.

As per PP of mine, I have earplugs/Bose headphones, white noise machines etc... and use them actively - and have done so for 18 months - but the problem is that because he's running on hardwood floors - the noise resonates and vibrates - which means you literally feel it in your furniture/walls.

Headphones don't cancel out vibrations.

This. The fact the parents haven’t said yes he does this and we are so sorry and struggling to sleep ourselves, we will do what we can to stop it etc is weird.

They need to live in a ground floor flat, because even if Op moves unless the person who comes in after her is an extremely heavy sleeper they will be disturbed too. And the fact they were able to stop it for 8 weeks when they were put under pressure by their landlord speaks volumes. They just don’t see OP’s sleep as important as their landlord making a request.

Yawn, your posts are vile but you’ll be deleted so no point in responding to you.

I agree with that op. You have every right to have a quite night and restful sleep. They may have a hyper child as people have said and sleep deprived too however that is their problem not yours. I would keep complaining.

Have you ver met a child or lived in a house😂. How is a rug unsafe? Have you been to a play school, crèche or public space.

OP, time to fight fire with fire. Thump the bloody ceiling with a broom and start vacuuming just as they sleep.

I have not contacted the council. I even felt bad about complaining in the first place. My gripe was only when they said they were taking measures/being mindful but nothing changed.

Hence why I went to management. Then it seemed like we had progress! But then back to square one. That's when I offered to pay for the carpeting.

They could indeed, control the noise for a while - all was ok - but then gave up after 8 weeks or so. So I decided; since they found it impossible to maintain - and they were unable (for whatever reason) to stop him from running in the night/early hours - then I would offer to pay for the carpeting.

Except that actually is considered antisocial behaviour which, alongside the harassment, would see the OP facing enforcement action.

This! If they had been honest about it, I would have understood. They denied it was happening, said what I was hearing wasn't true, claimed he doesn't run (laughable), never even apologised. Even if they had said they understand that it's not ideal for neighbours - I, of course, would have been understanding.

As I said; all our interactions were polite. They said they'd 'be mindful' - so I took that as a good thing - obviously. But nothing changed.

Something only changed when their landlord got involved - and it lasted for 8 weeks. Which made me think something can indeed be done about it. I think their landlord getting involved spooked them - but only for a while.

I had hope that we could all be happy in those 8 weeks. But it hasn't lasted - and we are back to square one.

People are entitled to move around their home at whatever time they want. That's not anti social and it doesn't warrant apology.

You're harassing them OP and you don't sound suited to flat living, certainly not on a lower floor - I'd look at moving.

Not if OP complains to the council first about their unreasonable noise.

This.

I hope they take action against the OP for harassment.

There's no harm in just getting a basic welfare check. The people disagreeing with u would be the first to say why didn't you report it when no one seen him if something was going on. They could just be reclusive. You could also try knocking with a happy new year card/gift or a gift for the child or something?

They can move all they like. It is not on to run at 5:30am, 5:40am, 6:30am - and weirdly 12:30am, 1:20am and 4:20am too. (Those are just the times off the top of my head). As I said; these aren't just brief periods of running. At best they are intermittent.

It's not 'harassment' to want/expect to sleep in your own home - at night. I will never understand people who think otherwise. At least in my case; they were polite (despite being dishonest). But the facts are the facts. Everyone deserves to sleep in their own homes (at night of course).

Weird how you expect OP to live with their noise but get strangely defensive of these twats living with OP’s noise.

Let them have a taste of their own medicine.

🤣

Sounds like you have been on the receiving end of some action against harassment and are projecting on to OP.

That would be seen as me likely causing trouble. To be clear, I have not 'fought fire with fire'.

Never did the whole 'blast rock music on the ceiling' thing. Never banged on my ceiling with a broom. Never exaggerated the noise (as people tend to do) to the management/landlord for dramatic effect.

I just stuck to the facts - and even offered to pay to come to a solution too.

@sleeplessnights24 you’ve been very polite and understanding and unfortunately I suspect they see you as a walkover. They’ve literally tried to gaslight you!

I’m assuming you’re a single woman who lives alone and they’re a male/female couple? The fact you’ve offered to pay for rugs etc will have reinforced their perception of you . Sometimes you can’t “kill em with kindness”.

Don’t message them again, they’re no longer responding so the only option is to go to back to management. And make sure you mention how they were able to stop the noise for 8 weeks so it’s clear they’re capable.

It’s not quite the same but I had a neighbour try and tell me she couldn’t help her dog jumping up all over and scratching me after I politely told her I didn’t like that. So I changed tack - went straight to management, they spoke to her and it never happened again. Sorted. Some people can’t be reasoned with, they need some kind of authority to force them to be considerate to others.

You can either feel bad and be sleep deprived or feel guilty about reporting them and have a good nights sleep. I suggest you go with the latter!

He'll be doing that thing that kids do where they stomp their heels into the ground when they walk/run. Of course they can't make him sleep but they can drum it into him that if he needs to get up, he doesn't thump or run, he walks. And foam mats etc

I'd start thumping up with a broom on the parents bedroom floor/your ceiling, every time it happens. Inconsiderate sods.