Neighbours say they can only 'try' to control their child.

[sleeplessnights24]

I live in a new build. Everything has been ok, but the tenants upstairs have a 5 year old boy who doesn't stop stomping.

Running in the afternoon/normal hours is one thing, but this is in the early hours when people are clearly still asleep! It also happens in the middle of the night too...?! Surely a 5 year old can sleep through the night...? Also, why run if you're up that late?!

I noted the hours it happened. 5:30am, 5:40am, 6:30am - and weirdly 12:30am, 1:20am and 4:20am too. That's just in the last 3 weeks. On weekends it started at 6:50am and 5:40am. We are not just talking about brief periods of noise. It is often intermittent. The worst was 3:50am - which was intermittent until about 4:20am. Then again at 5:20am. Then at 7:30am. That night I didn't sleep at all since 3:50am.

Initially, all communications were fine. I only spoke up once I was at my wits end. I was polite - and so were they. No apology from their side though. They said they'd be mindful of the noise. Phew! I was grateful and hopeful to finally be able to sleep. I do not expect to live in silence (obviously), but stomping on your ceiling - when you're trying to sleep and it is still dark outside, is crazy.

A few months goes by... nothing changes. But because I had already complained once, I felt like I couldn't complain again... until I did.

Again, all polite from both sides. Said they'd be mindful. Ok.
Nothing changed again. Rinse & repeat. The noise - if anything - just got louder... so I spoke up again. Both sides nice and polite. They said it was 'confusing' that it was so loud. I asked multiple times if they'd like to come down and hear it for themselves as they didn't understand how it could be so disruptive. They ignored every invite to come listen.

They would say he 'only walks' on days I would be woken up in the morning - by running. They were/are defensive and looking for excuses. I get it. In many ways, I am not surprised. They kept saying they were 'being mindful' - but nothing ever changed. If the noise had reduced by 20% since I complained; at least that would be something. But there was literally no change.

I was transparent about having Bose headphones, white noise machines, etc... so they could see that I was doing things to drown out the noise from my side.

After 18 months of it happening on an almost daily basis, I complained to my building management Co. I had complained to management before - but their response was 'there's nothing we can do'. They didn't even pass on my sentiments to the owners of the flat.

This time I didn't relent - and asked them to pass/forward my email to the actual owners of the apartment upstairs. (Upstairs are renters). They did indeed forward my email to the owners.

I got a response saying the owners had spoken to their tenants - and the tenants have agreed to buy a rug and will 'try to control the movements of their child when possible'.

I took this as somewhat helpful - and was more angry that I was proven right in that what they'd done for the year prior - was nothing at all - certainly in terms of practical measures when they had told me there was nothing more they could do. Over the 18 months; there was one occasion where I (politely) asked what they had done to mitigate the noise... they didn't respond. (They have hardwood floors throughout).

For 8 weeks, they seemed to promptly stop the running in the middle of the night/early hours (which I only wanted stopped at unreasonable hours anyway) - but now we are back to square one it seems. I'm mindful of it being Winter (dark and awful weather outside) and also Christmas season, but I'm not sure why it keeps happening. They say the best they can do is 'try' to control it.

AIBU for not relenting and to keep complaining to management? The tenants have stopped opening my messages now.

I feel for you OP but honestly I think this situation will only end if they move out, or if you do.

I’ve been in a similar position with noisy neighbours and really there’s nothing more you can do - the noise they’re making isn’t illegal, the landlord can’t force them to do anything and the building manager won’t care. You’re fighting a losing battle.

Stomping around in the wee hours and preventing neighbours from sleeping is not living noise. Get a grip.

Couldn’t agree more!
But too often people have to suffer other people’s kid noise if they can’t afford a detached house.

Lndnmummy · Today 00:30

To all the people saying 'what do you want them to do' and 'do you expect them to handcuff him to his bed' etc. I'd dread to live in your house. I have a 5 year old and a 10 year old. Both extremely active boys. We live in a flat with downstairs neighbours. I have strict rules on noise levels. No running indoors. No shouting across rooms. If you want someone you go and find them, you don't shout. No balls in the house. We were slippers that soften the impact of walking. We are no saints. My boys are very active but I try my very damned hardest to be cognisant of my neighbours. There is no way I would let my children cause any level of noise at anti sociable hours.
**
I'm sorry OP, it is awful”

I wish more people were as considerate as you. We all love our own children but the sort of unnecessary noise OP is being expected to simply tolerate by some is debilitated.

5 is certainly old enough to abide by ground rules.

But they never did anything before now? When the OP went up nicely numerous times but they manage to do it when the landlord gets involved… Cmon Luv! Pardon the pun.

I agree. It’s unfortunate for everyone involved, but it’s just the intercepting of different needs and problems in a close living environment. Having a busy family they probably should have thought of taking a ground floor property; not having one, you probably should have considered not being below others. But we can’t predict everything all the time and sometimes need to adjust or change previous decisions. Good luck.

I have to listen to my neighbours stomping and banging about when I’m trying to sleep in the day but that doesn’t count. My point is sleep wake cycles vary

I’d be banging ( with a broom) on the ceiling that’s below their bedroom. 😡

Do they have a cat?

@Cmonluv no I know it's not what the OP is saying, but it's what happened to me when I had feral kids above me.

With all due respect do you understand that a developmental disability will mean the ability to understand or comply isn't on a par with the average 5 yr old?

Valerie, honestly your argument is ridiculous.

@Icantbedoingwithit why is it ? There’s loads of people like me and it isn’t fair.

And if op said the kid was scootering and bouncing a ball all night I'd say the parents were bonkers and they should call social services as well as the council. But this kid isn't. He is moving round on foot

Op record the noise with timestamps. Upload to YouTube and direct us.

Or at the very least report to the council and let us know who they think is unreasonable

I never said I didn't have children.

And what's my age got to do with anything? I guess it's ok for you to be ageist. Message received loud and clear.

I wouldn't assume someone's age from their post, because you would be wrong in this case.

Once more for the parents in the back - nobody else should have to tolerate unreasonable noise from your children. Note I said unreasonable. Nobody should have to tolerate barking dogs, late night parties with drunken adults, antisocial behaviour etc either.

There's a time and a place for noisy children, and overnight isn't that time.

so you blame the lack of housing because of people coming from 'overseas' and now you're agist?

I'm not surprised your poor neighbour finds you and your lot insufferable.

It doesn't sound like there's an ounce of intelligence within you.

@Scalottia Uck behave yourself 😂😂 do u need it spelled out again to you?

if don’t like it move out and don’t move somewhere we’re your below people 😂 people need to live and we’re just not going to stop because someone wants 15 hours a sleep a days ffs 😂

CmonLuc
**
With all due respect do you understand that a developmental disability will mean the ability to understand or comply isn't on a par with the average 5 yr old.

In those circumstances, is it not beholden on the parents to take that into consideration and look for accommodation more suitable for their child’s needs? ie: not disturbing other people’s lives if they can help it.

@Daniagainagainagain there lots of intelligence with me Darling! 😜

Problem is my neighbour got away with everything for 2 years read back to the things she actually said to my child she’s an old snob and don’t move somewhere where you think you can control every scenario doesn’t work like that .

This is boring anyway not even replying back

if the problem is so bad call the police and let them know you can’t sleep at night because a young child is waking up during the night?

contact the council and tell them the same thing

or why don’t you call the Landlord again and tell them the same thing? Possibly ask them to buy more rugs?

It would help if parents like you disciplined your kids though.

People make choices to move to a flat, but they're not signing up for sharing the disruption of a child/ren that you choose to bring to the world and fail to teach them respectable boundaries.

Why do you and your lot trump the rights to an enjoyable living home over your neighbours?

I did actually do this. The council game out and listened to the noise and the tenants were being faced with eviction. It took a long time.
And if you had any idea of what you were talking about you'd know it's not a police matter, it's a civil matter. The council can deal with it.

Thankfully I became financially able to move away from nightmare neighbours like yourself.

I feel for the, in your words 'old snob'. She's probably sick to the back teeth of your lack of consideration, agism and racism.

Just remembered my ex telling my 8 year old to walk on his tiptoes since we lived in a flat.

@Daniagainagainagain Parents like me? Honey there’s only so much discipline you can give a child with a disability? What have I to say. ‘ C stop moving your wheel chair this way or that way because it’s not far on M’? OK I will try your way!

No F*CKING Thank you! 🙏