AIBU to give up term time job ?

[ohsotired2022]

A bit of a WWYD?

Currently term time.
Work 30 hours a week spread over 5 days.
If not working then looking after my 2 children.
One at High School (14) one at Primary (9)
All holidays covered.
Band 5.

There is a current Band 7 post advertised that is 22.5 hours, 3 days.
Would work out with similar money but option to increase.

I would have 1.5 days every week for me child free
All holidays wouldn't be covered.

WWYD?

Stay in lesser paid role for easier life
Go for better role and have time to yourself every week?

Younger child is Autistic and very intense.
Current set up works well for her needs but not so much for mine.

Go for new role if you can afford to cover the extra childcare in the holidays. I barely get any time to myself either and I find I'm burnt out a lot. My best work/life balance job was 3 full days a week.

There is a lot to be said for term time only. Would it be easy for yourself and your partner to find childcare to include all school holidays to cover potential new job ? How will your DD transition into any new set-up ?

Could you afford childcare one day a week during holidays, so you could remain in your current job and have time to yourself?

I would prefer the regular break, so the part-time job.

Presumably when you have the school holidays you're doing childcare anyway, so you never get a proper break.

You would only need to sort out childcare for the younger child. Would they go to some kind of holiday club? Also would your ex or any family take some of the holiday childcare?

I don't know why I thought ex, you might still be with the children's father???

Your needs are important too, if logistically it'll be workable in the holidays then absolutely without a doubt I'd go for it! If their dad is on the scene then he should be pulling his weight in the holidays.

what would be the plan for holiday cover for the youngest? Have you checked what is available locally and is suitable? Including into secondary age depending on level of need?

@Summerbee3 yep, I do feel a bit burnt out.
I feel as though all I do is work and care for my younger child while also being there for older child.

What do you mean by 'very intense'

Will they be able to access holiday clubs, be able to stay at home alone when they are older?

Before the additional needs I would have said providing you can cover the 9year old during holidays as still too young to be alone then go for it. The SN makes it more complicated.

Do you have support from the father?

@Sunnydays0101 yes, I could pay for ca couple days of childcare in the holidays, I think it's the constant not having a break all year round, if that makes sense ?

I left a TTO job and now hate the school holidays, it's such a juggle and I feel so guilty if I wfh and ignore ds2 all day long.

He's just turned 11, last year of primary. Wish I'd waited until he was at high school.

@Pelham678 yes, I cover all the holidays and it feels VERY intense with my younger child and then constantly running my older child about.

Ha ha yes, still with the children's Dad and we could tag team over the summer.

It’s depends on whether they argue,

once they are both in secondary you won’t find school holiday clubs, they will be left to their own devices. Which is fine if you are happy to leave them.

Regular breaks are so important to prevent feeling overwhelmed and over stretched in the longer term. As long as you can afford the additional childcare to cover the holidays, I would definitely go for the new role.

Is there any childcare your younger child can actually access. Also bear in mind that a lot of childcare doesnt take secondary aged children and if your SN child still needs care at that point it can be hard to find anything.

(Although you can cross that bridge when you get there)
Otherwise i think the band 7 job is better

@Torchdino yes, think this is the worry. It's my needs V's my child's.
Which I had a crystal ball and could see how it will go!

@Sirzy I suppose if I was working 3 days a week it would be slightly easier to find cover.
Maybe I take 2 weeks.
My DH takes 2 then we have to pay for 6 days.
Maybe using an agency and someone comes to our house to look after my DD.

Do you think your youngest would cope with needing to go to holiday care? I know my DC wouldn't cope. They're burnt out on school and masking and need that down time. Could you and DH cover the holidays without needing extra help? Is there family they cope with well who could help out. I understand why you need this so much. Just think it through work out if you can make it work, you don't want to end up changing jobs and finding it's just as exhausting and intense but in a different way. Good luck with it.

No harm in applying. You can always re-assess once you get a job offer.
This was my exact plan - go for a higher band and reduce my working hours. Sadly with COL, it never materialised. I've been band 7 for two years now and have still been too scared to even drop a day.

I would really look in depth into that plan before progressing, I’m not saying something doesn’t need to change to give you more downtime but I think, especially as she gets older, you may find that trying to sort holidays creates more stress rather than helping.

your plan also sounds like you would never get any time off with your husband as you would always be tag teaming to cover holidays

@Ducksurprise she is very intense to me.
I get all the worries.
I feel like a servant over the holidays catering to her needs.

During the week she does go to the ASC at her school twice a week for about an hour and she copes well.
Her school sometimes runs a club over the summer which she would cope ok with (I think) if it was at her school with the workers she knows.
Last summer though they joined up with another school and were based at this school.
I'm not sure how she would have coped with that.

That makes sense. And if you were occasionally able to work overtime on your normal days off it could cover some of the extra holiday costs for agency childcare?

Do you have active parents or in laws that might have the children for a week or so?

@AlwaysFreezing this is a good point.
A few people have said to me to stay where I am until my youngest goes to High School.
Sorry you have found this not to be the right decision.

I'd got for the band 7.

In your family, I bet you are the only one whose needs come last when decisions are made. That just leads to resentment and burnout.

This OP.
Absolutely do it.
You need some sort of break (especially from feeling like a servant to your teenager).

I've never done term time only but to help cover with holidays when working part time:

• I've worked extra in weeks beforehand then be and to take off in lieu which i saved for holidays (particularly if any courses or training days that they were keen)

-would cover for colleagues who were ill/off in term time and then take time back in holidays -did Tues-Thursday as holiday allowance included back holidays in total hours so I got "extra" hours off on days I choose

I now do 30 hours over 5 days school hours which can mean in holidays in in to work and back home as teens are dragging themselves out of bed. I take youngest to activities in afternoon and they watch (too much TV) while Im at work. But SEN means they won't consider holiday clubs.

Being more senior/higher band meant I am able to swing things like WFH too