AIBU to give up term time job ?

[ohsotired2022]

A bit of a WWYD?

Currently term time.
Work 30 hours a week spread over 5 days.
If not working then looking after my 2 children.
One at High School (14) one at Primary (9)
All holidays covered.
Band 5.

There is a current Band 7 post advertised that is 22.5 hours, 3 days.
Would work out with similar money but option to increase.

I would have 1.5 days every week for me child free
All holidays wouldn't be covered.

WWYD?

Stay in lesser paid role for easier life
Go for better role and have time to yourself every week?

Younger child is Autistic and very intense.
Current set up works well for her needs but not so much for mine.

@Scirocco yes, that's what I feel. It's a new service and I haven't seen this post advertised before but sounds really interesting.

No harm in applying. I might not get an interview or get the post then the decision will be made for me.

@PieAndLattes thanks, yes it does sound like an exciting opportunity with room for growth and development.

My current role although great hours has no further room for growth for me. I know I work above my Band but on lower pay.

Would the band 7 have better prospects in the long run and better pension?

I left a TTO scholl job last year and between wfh / clubs/ and mix of partners and my annual leave, holidays are doable.

You are also legally allowed to take a few weeks unpaid parental leave annually so I've used a week or two of this to top up as my leave package is basic.

My new role is more enjoyable than my previous one. I had started to find working in a school exhausting and covering kids in school holidays was exhausting too. Feel like I have more adult time with my new role.

Good luck with the decision, obviously harder when you have an SN child to factor in. I think you should apply at least :)

@ilovesushi I do feel exhausted.
Rushing from drop off to work to pick up. Always chasing my tail. House always a mess.

The thought of having a whole day sounds very appealing.

I do understand where you are coming from as I am in s similar situation, my dc attend my school and I haven't had a day to myself in about 10 years. Even as babies they were term time childcare. It's exhausting and intense.
However my dd also is autistic and I find the holidays with no demands, me at home with her and not having to attend camps or clubs if she doesn't want to seriously reduces her burn out and supports her regulation and behavior at home. I also schedule therapies and appointments when I'm off to make life easier.

So I definitely see both sides for you.

@MummyJ36 yes, sometimes I feel like I shot myself in the foot spreading my 30 hours over 5 days. My DD has benefitted as I pick her up 3 days a week.

Glad your current set up works for you.

@redbirdblackbird
That's interesting that you are now going back.
I think that is part of my worry, to walk away from something that is working:

Well done for making a change and I suppose you don't know until you try something. Sorry that it didn't work out.

@Twiglets1 yes, agree 100%

My DH recently changed his role for a promotion of sorts.

His job now means some flexibility but also he has to be away sometimes. He didn't hesitate as he knows I'll pick up the slack.

I'm not sure if he realises how lucky he is to do this.

We used to have a system where I did all the morning drop offs. My DD went to ASC 4 days a week and then he did 4 pick ups and I did the Friday Pick up.

This was hard for my DD so I stretched my hours out to mean I could pick her up Wednesday and Thursday and made up my 3 hours on a Friday .

I'm not bashing the OP, who sounds understandably overstretched, but isn't the very definition of parenting "putting our children's needs ahead of our own"..?

Obviously in an ideal world, everyone's needs (and then also preferences, desires, ambitions) can be met; but many of us don't live in an ideal world, and not everyone's needs can be met - and I'm afraid if that's the situation in a family with children, I do think the onus is on the parentS (plural) to prioritise the needs of their kids over their own - particular if a child has additional needs (through no fault of their own) and so finds life even harder than a NT child.

And that's very tough. I do get that.

@NewYear24 I dropped down 2 bands 15k to go to Band 5 Term-time.
It was the right decision at the time but now it feels if I don't make the move I might be stuck where I am.

I can see why I would stay. It's not hard. It fits around the family.

Thanks @burrito it definitely feels the right move for me.

@Twiglets1 great advice.

Even if I don't get this it will give me a great opportunity and also let this team know I'm keen should more posts come up.

@Shouldbedoing sorry to hear your ASD got trickier.
This is a big worry for me.

The role I'm going to go for might work for hours that you describe.
In that I could be out working 9:30 - 1:30 then could maybe negotiate some WFH in the afternoon.

I appreciate this is me hoping and nothing set. My DH could also do similar and WFH a day or two in the summer.

"I knew I didn't have the mental capacity to give the Band 7 what it needed so dropped to a Band 5 term time. It is absolutely a role that doesn't require too much. It's been a great time. To be honest it was what I needed. I don't wake up with dread, anxiety or worry about my current role.
When I leave at the end of the day I don't walk away worrying about it.
I was able to process losing my parents and then my youngest getting a diagnosis whilst still working and maintaining my registration."

Also having just read this post of yours OP, I would think very very seriously whether the potential jump in stress, 'dread, anxiety or worry' is worth it for you.

Being able NOT to take the mental load of your work home with you at the end of the day is, it seems, almost priceless in the current working world.

@YearsofYears yes, agree with this.
Last summer felt very intense with my ASD DD and really affected my MH.

Not sure I want to do that again.

Glad you've made a move and it's working out well.

The Band 7 role would have opportunities for progression and better for my pension.

Agree nothing to lose by applying.

@switswoo81 I really understand this.

I do think my DD gets chatted during the school term and appreciates time to rest and recharge.

I'm not sure if I'm being short-sighted in giving up something that works for her to choose something that I hope will work better for me.
I also don't know that it will.

This is such a useful and comforting thread! I have found my people!

I am baffled as to what I will do next. I negotiated a role TTO and 22 ish hours a week so I can pick up and drop 2 autistic dc (of 3 dcs). I don't even feel like one of them could for with LA transport let alone ASC as he has had/still a touch of EBSA.

I agree (it is why I am where I am and not King of the World!) that having kids means fixing up stuff around them. But having not been at work and now being back - this has been really good for my kids. It's good for boys and girls to see their mums doing important fulfilling work, talking about their day etc. Everyone is working here so you know it, but I'm sure it applies to career development too.

@switswoo81 that's meant to say my DD gets exhausted during the school term.

Could you negotiate OP? To have some school holidays off?

I’m nhs and we have no rules about taking leave in school holidays. I take all mine in school holidays.

If it’s similar money surely you will be worse off once you’ve covered any holiday clubs and wrap around care (I see your working days will be longer).
Also if you a DH split the holidays you will never get time together as a family. I assume at the moment he can take his holidays in the holidays and you can all be together?
Im a teacher (part-time) but have a 3 year old and 10 month old. They go to nursery but term time only and 10 month old only goes on the days I work. So I get the not having a break bit. We try to give each other a break in the holidays. Take it in turns to get up with them/ go out with our friends/ use grandparents very occasionally so we can go out together! This works in the most part for us. I’ve thought about switching to a normal job’ before but the uplift in childcare would cripple me!

Strong agree with this and earlier poster who suggested not asking about this until you are offered a post. It's a perfectly legitimate thing to test in negotiations and you can play their response into your assessment of whether you want the role.

@HBGKC I do agree.
Every job and decision I have made around where I work has always centred around will this also work for my family.

I absolutely know it's mine and my DH's responsibility to meet her needs and advocate for her .

@HBGKC
Yes, I do really, really appreciate that my current role means I am present once I leave .

I think there is a bit of my pride at play here. I know I took a drop and I'm working with young nurses who are working at a higher band than me.

@Legoroses yes, completely agree.
Sometimes when my DD is being really tricky and doesn't want to go to school it would be easy to keep her at home if I didn't work. Having my job gives me something that I can say to her that I need to go if that makes sense ?

I work with children with SEN and I think the "break" of going to work is probably healthy for me.