AIBU to give up term time job ?

[ohsotired2022]

A bit of a WWYD?

Currently term time.
Work 30 hours a week spread over 5 days.
If not working then looking after my 2 children.
One at High School (14) one at Primary (9)
All holidays covered.
Band 5.

There is a current Band 7 post advertised that is 22.5 hours, 3 days.
Would work out with similar money but option to increase.

I would have 1.5 days every week for me child free
All holidays wouldn't be covered.

WWYD?

Stay in lesser paid role for easier life
Go for better role and have time to yourself every week?

Younger child is Autistic and very intense.
Current set up works well for her needs but not so much for mine.

Also, what is your long-term plan for your daughter? Would this be a way to help foster independence without it being something she has to cope with every day? It would also mean that your husband has to take on more responsibility for her needs too, it seems like that is overdue from how you are feeling.

I think you need to work out how much childcare would cost you over the year. Also how easy would it be for you or your Dh to actually get the weeks of holiday when you want them? I am a sahm but seeing friends try to juggle diaries especially over summer when everyone else wants holiday time too was intense.

My friend went from 3 days over 4 to TTO, it was less pay but when she worked out what she would save in holiday club money it was even stevens. I do understand your feelings of burn out but could you start to increase your DD's time in after school club rather than just an hour? ie make your life a bit easier now?

Oh I forgot to type one summer I took the unpaid government parental leave for 2 weeks

@Namenamchange
This is a good point .
They do argue 🙈

@IdealisticCynic
Thank you, I do feel I'm in a battle of thinking what's right for everyone V's what's right for me day to day

I think women's careers often suffer as it's the best thing for the family. But what happened if you and your DP ever split? They have a career and you have a wee job that they don't prioritise. Or that is how it can be. If this is a higher band then if absolutely go for it. Your kids aren't that young forever. I also have an ASD child and who is intense (still is at nearly 20) and so I know exactly what you mean! Have some downtime and keep your career moving forwards.

Honestly OP you are important too. It wouldn't be 5 days a week in the holidays you and their dad would need to make arrangements for as you'd be off 1.5 days anyway. Be sure to not take the whole burden yourself and to remember he should be helping you plan and figure out how to make it work- you need to think of yourself too as well as the practicalities.

I work 3 days a week, I really like it. One day a week to myself (one day I have my youngest) is a godsend to keep on top of everything. It allows me to get errands etc done so that our free time is actually family time.

Sounds like the deciding factor is really finding childcare for your youngest. If that maxes out at 6 days a year though, you cannot give up something better for you for the sake of 6 days. There’s always unpaid parental leave for you or your husband.

I would go for it - you'll work out the holidays between annual leave for both you and your DP and a bit of childcare.

We both work 4 days a week and don't need to use that much holiday club

Unfortunately I think you should stay as you are. Because if you make the move and then you're youngest isn't happy with holiday care arrangements / refuses, then you'll be really stuffed.

@Spendonsend
She goes to a dance class at the weekend and has accessed their Easter and Summer clubs before and really enjoyed them.
This is an option if I wasn't term-time.

Band 7 would be good progression for me for the future. I was Band 7 before and dropped to Band 5 to be more available for my DD.

@EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness
This is a great point about masking and needing the break although she also really misses routine and structure in the holidays.

Is it easy to put her into holiday club where you are? Does she cope well?

@Catza well done to you for applying and getting the post.
It's funny isn't it as how no matter what you earn it isn't enough.

I kind of did the opposite and dropped to a Band 5 from a Band 7 and then COL is killing me financially

Go for it, the band 7 is future proofing your career and it sounds like you need a day to yourself

@Pelham678
No parents to help.
Sadly I no longer have mine and DH's DM has early dementia.

I would go for the Band 7 and se e if there is any leeway/flexibility on hours eg working longer in term time, less in the holidays.

@DisforDarkChocolate This Exactly

My DH has went for a new, better paid job and is thriving while I feel like the bedraggled middle aged Mother who is drowning.
Also feel I've sold myself out by taking a job in a lower band than I'm qualified to work in but I know I did it for my DD's needs.

Band 5 to Band 7 is a hell of a jump. Do you meet the role requirements?

I work 3 days a week year-round; in the holidays DH & I juggle annual leave with a bit of extra cover from PIL.
We will also be looking into holiday clubs & possible childcare swaps with friends, for example one of DDs friends is with us today.
Having those 2 days a week to myself in term time is amazing; I can get so much done as well as get some head space or do a course, something for me.
When youngest DC started school we looked into me increasing my working days but the lose of holiday cover isn't compensated by the slight increase in annual leave & we'd just be paying out more for childcare so for us now, it works out better as it is for everyone.

Sorry, just seen your later posts.

If you can make it work with school holidays I think you should go for band 7... Hopefully you won't have too many more years of school holiday childcare to cover (although I have no idea about the SEN aspect), but you don't know if the same job will be available for you in a couple of years if you don't take it now. Also it sounds like you are getting very burnt out - if you can give yourself a break you will have more energy for your children when you are with them, which helps them too. Have you and your partner used parental leave at all? It's unpaid but could help cover holidays if the finances work for you? www.gov.uk/parental-leave

Well it sounds a goer then.

It's my needs V's my child's

Sounds like you've spent 14 years catering to everyone else's needs. It's fine to say "enough".

Go for the job.

Could you get PIP or equivalent for dc2 to cover a PA once a week in the holidays?

@SecondUsername4me
She is qualified for the lesser amount of DLA. I've looked into the PA option but sure she needs to qualify for the Higher Amount?