AIBU to give up term time job ?

[ohsotired2022]

A bit of a WWYD?

Currently term time.
Work 30 hours a week spread over 5 days.
If not working then looking after my 2 children.
One at High School (14) one at Primary (9)
All holidays covered.
Band 5.

There is a current Band 7 post advertised that is 22.5 hours, 3 days.
Would work out with similar money but option to increase.

I would have 1.5 days every week for me child free
All holidays wouldn't be covered.

WWYD?

Stay in lesser paid role for easier life
Go for better role and have time to yourself every week?

Younger child is Autistic and very intense.
Current set up works well for her needs but not so much for mine.

Hi OP I work in NHS and regularly interview people as part of my role, and my advice is go for the job and then when you get it have a look at the logistics - no need to mention anything about working patterns until you are offered the role. The recruitment wheels turn so slowly that even for an internal candidate you will have a few weeks minimum before your start date so plenty of time to figure it out.

Also make sure you join your trusts working carers network (if you haven’t already!)

Thanks @SilverCatStripes
Agree that Recruitment in the NHS moves very slowly.

I've never heard of the working carers network.

Will see if there is something like this where I work?

Go for the band 7 job. I don't know the details but will it not mean a bigger pension later on?

It's not just now and the next few years you need to think about. It's long term, especially retirement.

@RomeoOscarXrayXray Yes, definitely.
When I dropped from my previous Band 7 role to current Band 5 I saw a big difference in my Pension Prediction.

Haven't read the full thread but I work term time, similar hours and if I had another parent in the house (who could use leave in holidays too), I'd definitely change!
I dream of a day child free to cook and clean, to have another just to do what I want with as well would be amazing!

I understand the intensity thing.

I'm a teacher and therefore every holiday I have all three children. I work 3 days a week, but only because that's about 38 hours worth of work in term time, thus full time (so on my 2 days "off" I do all my planning and marking).

I'd say go for the 3 days and higher pay grade, but think carefully about how you will cover the school holidays. Your 9 year old will get 13 weeks holiday so that's 13 x 3 days = 39 days to be covered between you. My autistic (and very intense) 8 year old would not consider a holiday club and would find it VERY stressful. Would your 9 year old go to a holiday club? Do you have other family to help cover the holidays?

Don't forget lots of companies also have to consider who gets the school holidays off, as they need staff working, so it is no guarantee you can take off your chosen holiday dates.

3 days pw is not too bad for a couple to cover hols for. Budget to take a week or two of parental leave, and/or both look to buy extra leave if available. We were lucky to have a lot of flexibility with when we can take leave though. It might be trickier if you have less control over your shifts or a manager who doesn't understand that you can't just magic up childcare for an older child with additional needs.

Childcare gets harder from 11 but we found a couple of places that would take children a little older. With hindsight if I knew how much harder things get with an older child who still can't be left, I might have looked into getting a regular holiday cover person one to one. I do think it's doable though. Getting your own headspace back is really valuable and might well be key to you being able to sustain working long term, which is good for your whole family, not just you. The all year round job would bring a new set of challenges but in some ways it's more robust than your current set up. And should your daughter start to struggle with attendance at any point, or have medical/CAMHS appointments, you having days off in term time would be really useful.

I would recommend keeping with the term time job until your youngest DC is around 13-14.

It is harder to find holiday childcare for children in the late primary / early secondary years, and I think particularly if your DC has autism. A lot of holiday clubs have limited hours eg 10 am til 3 pm which is difficult with a full time working day.

Depending on the organisation you work for it can sometimes be difficult to book the amount of AL that you will need to cover school holidays as you will need to fit in not only with your workplace's needs but with the other staff wanting to book the same time off. This is particularly the case with a workplace which offers term time working as there will already be a percentage of workers out over the school holidays.

I worked term time until my DC was around 14-15. My employers changed my working conditions at that time and TBH it suited me as I no longer needed it for child care but I found the freedom to book AL when I wanted to be helpful with other things - at the time mainly to take my parents to various appointments, but when no longer constrained by school holidays from DC point of view, the freedom to go away in term time when it's quieter and cheaper has been great. But as mentioned above - we have very little leeway when it comes to try to book leave on school holidays - maybe only two weeks out of 6 in the summer and the odd day in other holidays.

I would also say that for teenagers, whereas you may be happy leaving them alone for a few hours at a time, it's not good when this ends up being 8 hours a day, 3 days a week . If you or your DC's father are able to book half days this can help to eke out your leave and mean they get a bit of freedom/responsibility but not all day .

I really struggled to go from a staff nurse on the ward to then a band 6 in community. How are the roles in comparison? I love my job (most of the time 😂) but it is very stressful compared to my previous role. I also line manage 13 staff which sometimes is harder work than delivering patient care especially with sickness and absence. What they didn’t advertise was the lack of ability to switch off. Speak to the person who’s job you’re taking over, how do they find the role? Have they gone to being a 7 somewhere else or been promoted?

That being said I would go for it, if you get the job it’s meant to be. If you don’t then it’s fine and it’s not your time. If you don’t take the opportunity someone else will. Good luck xxx

I had a very similar decision. I was doing 9-3 tto and accepted an nhs job 22.5 hours a week. I was very worried about the school holidays, also have a 10year old with Sen that can not go to holiday clubs.

I took the job and it’s not been too bad. I really do miss the holidays, my parents are mostly covering the holidays but I am able to take all my annual leave in the holidays and as I’m only working 3 days a week it’s not too bad. I’ve had 2 weeks off for Xmas. In the Summer I booked 2 full weeks off, then for 3 of the weeks I booked off one day every week so I was only working two.

I really value the 2 days a week I have to myself during term time. On reflection I think I made the right decision. I would love the holidays off but wouldn’t want to go back to 5 days.

Forgot to add, I’m in tbe community and it’s actually quite flexible too so I’m sometimes home by 3:30ish rather than 5 and can fit it around other things in emergencies.

I would absolutely go for the band 7 role. I am in a similar situation to you, have 3DC, (2 high school, 1 primary), and 1 needs lots of extra support/is very intense.
I am in a band 7 role and work 4 days a week. My day off each week is a life-saver. It’s time to recharge from both work and family life and I also get lots of jobs done. It feels like a pressure relief day. It definitely helps me to be a more present and involved mum with my DC.
There is a bit of juggling to do to cover the holidays, but there do tend to be lots of different types of holiday activities nowadays and if you find one that works for your child, then it makes it much easier.
Your life and your career are important too, don’t feel like you have to be side-lined.

In a similar boat. My autistic child cannot access childcare so no options.

I would say don’t underestimate the impact of the higher band. It’s tempting- more money, less hours- but going from band 5 to 7 (guessing this is NHS?) is quite a leap, and it would probably be a very steep learning curve. Not saying you couldn’t do it, but that in itself requires a huge amount of mental energy, not to mention anxiety and “out of hours” reading. I’m guessing that you can easily do the job you’re currently doing- sometimes it’s best just to be on autopilot for a while. It’ll all get easier sooner than you think.

Take the band 7, there’s a good chance the opportunity won’t come up again in a few years when your daughter is in high school.

Do it! I done the exact same thing everyone thought I was crazy leaving such good hours etc that others would love. I feel so much better now I have free day to myself. I was constantly rushing with kids dropping at school then rushing to pick them up, couldn't have any annual leave off for myself. I am so glad I done it but it was a massive decision.

Forgot to mention, nhs you get a lot of annual leave so between myself and DH holiday cover isn't an issue.

I've got a 13yo autistic child and we have to have someone at home in holidays as there's no other option. DH is in teaching so thankfully he's at home but he can never really get another type of job at it stands currently.

I'm NHS and we have really strict rules on how much time you can have off in school holidays (not as much as you'd think as everyone is entitled to some) - I have to do the rota's and people are always saying 'but - childcare' like it trumps everyone else but almost everyone has kids!

Do it!

I’d take the new job, your kids won’t be young forever and you need to think about your career / pension too. Sounds like your daughter copes well with ASC so should be ok with some holiday clubs aswell as AL.

But yes I guess you have to consider that you might not get AL every holiday depending on how many other people want that time off. So you’d need to consider the cost of more holiday club than you anticipate

If you hadn’t mentioned your autistic DD, I’d have said go for it however I too have a DD whose now 12 and autistic whose just fallen out the school system. She just about coped through primary but fell apart at secondary. I too had been about to take on a bigger job after dropping back from work. I’m glad I didn’t as now I’m still juggling working p/t around her needs. It can get worse when the hormones hit…sorry.. this for us started to get harder from age 8/9. I feel your pain & frustration as I have the potential to earn more than DH on better terms but I just can’t as we have no childcare options she could cope with now.

I'd go for the Band 7 job. Those opportunities don't come around every day and it sounds like you could make it work. Don't leave your career stagnating when you don't have to.

Take the job. Your 9yo will only need holiday care for the next year or two, and there are loads of holiday clubs available anyway. Your development and job satisfaction is important too, especially as your children will be needing you less. There’s an opportunity for growth in the new role, learning new skills, taking on more interesting activities, etc.

Go for the band 7 job. Those extra free days will help you avoid burnout. It also puts you in a good position to progress careerwise. Sounds like you are heading for burnout already so make this move if your heart is saying yes.