No alcohol wedding

[KK05]

So I’ve just discovered that my friends wedding in 3 weeks is alcohol free. I was always expecting to pay for my own drink on the day but it turns out they aren’t having alcohol at all. This was a shock as they both enjoy nights out with alcohol and her hen was messy.

My issue isn’t the fact we can’t have a drink, I would still be going either way it’s that we’ve only just found out.

All in all we have spent almost £300 for a hotel the night before and night of the wedding. Night before was so we didn’t have to try and check in either after the wedding or try to squeeze it in at some point throughout the day. Would never have stayed for even one night if I knew I could drive. Too far for cabs/public transport but would have happily driven there and back. Think country estate. Plus it’s a hour away from home (bride and groom live same town as me). Trying to cancel so fingers crossed I get some money back.

There was nothing mentioned on the invites and nothing was said until last night and even then was just mentioned in passing.

My question is it unusual to mention this on invites? I’ve never been to a wedding with no alcohol so not entirely sure. I also know that a few people going could be doing with the extra money in the bank even if only staying one night or trying to arrange transport to and from the nearest town.

Would it be unreasonable to mention to the happy couple that they need to make people aware before the day? Or AIBU suggesting this?

She’s a very good friend if that helps and it’s not the no alcohol that’s the issue but the extra expense that we didn’t really need to spend. Money isn’t a huge problem for us but I’m still annoyed I’m out of pocket.

Raspberry lemonade is nice

If you are ten years old.

@newoldfluff raspberry lemonade is no Merlot!

Pretty disgusting with a meal.

@Ramalangadingdong yes I have no personality and can't have fun without alcohol

Yes, I'd expect alcohol to be offered at a funeral lunch time or later. Not in the morning

I can totally see your point and I'd do what you have done

Having the choice whether or not to drink alcohol would affect how I was getting home from a venue and if I need a hotel or not. Not having alcohol available and being that drivable distance would mean I would just drive and wouldnt want to spend money on the hotel.

It wouldnt impact on my enjoyment of the wedding...I would still go, have a good time and stay till the end.

Hope you manage to cancel and get a refund

I agree Op isn’t saying she won’t go or enjoy the wedding. Just that she wouldn’t have paid £300 for a hotel room if she had known like most of us.

But for many people it's not about getting drunk but enjoying a few drinks throughout the entire of the day knowing you haven't got to worry about getting home. That's why people will often push to staying overnight.

No more disgusting than wine

OP hasn't talked about getting pissed?!

You’re just being silly now.

It honestly wouldn’t bother me at all even if I was staying over. I would just see it as a weekend away and enjoy it regardless.
That said however, the majority of the people would have booked a room and paid the money so they COULD drink. That’s why they are staying. They paid money TO drink. I can totally understand that people would be pissed off in this circumstance if they found out they can’t drink. They should have been told although a lot of people would give it a miss I think if it was a dry wedding. Sad but true. Drink is very important to some folk and they can’t imagine going to an event without it. I have never been to nor even heard of a dry wedding, especially where I come from but I have been to numerous boozed up, messy ones that I can’t wait to escape from. I always leave and go to my room as I don’t like that very drunken environment. Most of my friends would be in the thrall of it living their best lives though.
I do think people should be given the choice though or at the very least be informed of the no alcohol rule. Although informing them would lead to people dropping out and maybe that’s what they are afraid of. I can’t imagine not attending a wedding because there was no booze which I think is incredibly sad but not staying over because you don’t have to is very understandable.

You could either bring bottles to your room and dispense into a hip flask, to mix into juice/pop from the bar. Or go back to your room to drink a glass of wine/beer. I've only been to two non alcohol weddings. One was for religious purposes, but it was so fun with so.much food, dancing and exotic juices available. The alcohol wasn't missed at all. However the other wedding reception was so boring especially without alcohol. So many people just standing around/sitting and not really socialising. It was so awkward, I wanted to leave. I actually left after an hour.

Yes she can, she never said she couldn't. However, £300 is a lot of money that now doesn't need spending. Considering your mind is apparently so clear from not drinking you've spectacularly missed the point in order to throw your tuppence worth of judgement. Well done.

Sounds like it is a January wedding and they are doing Dry January, nothing wrong with that although it is odd not to mention it on invitations.
Having said that I find OP's hugely detailed post about her plans re: hotel etc absurd. Your friends' wedding is not about you and your plans OP ......

The post is about OP's hotel plans though - that's the point.
I also wouldn't want to spend £300 to stay somewhere an hour from home if I wasn't drinking.

I'd check that you've got the facts right as a no alcohol wedding is a bit unusual unless religious reasons etc.

Imagine thinking you're taking the moral high ground and then declaring that's because you have a glass of wine, which you don't often do, and then get behind the wheel Mortified for you Janey.

I love wedding drinking. Long and slow. Prosecco after the ceremony, few glasses of wine with dinner, probably some rum after. Never drunk because it's slow with food, just a nice long, relaxed day.

What's absurd about it?

@newoldfluff you do know that adults are allowed to enjoy alcohol?

I have never been to a funeral in the UK where alcohol has not been available.

Are you sure the B&G just aren't serving alcohol (for whatever reason)? If it's like a country manor then surely there would be a bar?
If it's a strictly no alcohol wedding then that sounds boring as fuck! Shouldn't everyone have the choice?
You said the bride is a good friend, so why don't you just ask her?

Can see I'm in the minority but I don't think it should have to be disclosed on the invite (although being close to bride and groom, I would have thought it would be mentioned). They can't stop YOU from drinking...its nit a condition of your stay and if really want a drink, take your own and stash in room. Maybe they're trying to prevent embarrassing or alcohol fueled rows...maybe they're supporting a friend or family member with their recovery.

Personally, if I'm to book a room for a wedding, it's so I don't have to arrange getting home or driving; to not have time restraints on being home for pets/children/commitments. I don't understand why alcohol has to be central to make sure people enjoy themselves - surely people can abstain for one day/evening? However, I wouldn't be happy if my habits were to be dictated against, "we would prefer guests not to drink because...but if choose to, the nearest bar is...". There is a difference between "we would prefer" and "you cannot".

When I used to drink I couldn't have abstained for a wedding!