No alcohol wedding

[KK05]

So I’ve just discovered that my friends wedding in 3 weeks is alcohol free. I was always expecting to pay for my own drink on the day but it turns out they aren’t having alcohol at all. This was a shock as they both enjoy nights out with alcohol and her hen was messy.

My issue isn’t the fact we can’t have a drink, I would still be going either way it’s that we’ve only just found out.

All in all we have spent almost £300 for a hotel the night before and night of the wedding. Night before was so we didn’t have to try and check in either after the wedding or try to squeeze it in at some point throughout the day. Would never have stayed for even one night if I knew I could drive. Too far for cabs/public transport but would have happily driven there and back. Think country estate. Plus it’s a hour away from home (bride and groom live same town as me). Trying to cancel so fingers crossed I get some money back.

There was nothing mentioned on the invites and nothing was said until last night and even then was just mentioned in passing.

My question is it unusual to mention this on invites? I’ve never been to a wedding with no alcohol so not entirely sure. I also know that a few people going could be doing with the extra money in the bank even if only staying one night or trying to arrange transport to and from the nearest town.

Would it be unreasonable to mention to the happy couple that they need to make people aware before the day? Or AIBU suggesting this?

She’s a very good friend if that helps and it’s not the no alcohol that’s the issue but the extra expense that we didn’t really need to spend. Money isn’t a huge problem for us but I’m still annoyed I’m out of pocket.

I grew up religious and have probably been to more dry weddings that ones that serve alcohol. It would never be detailed in the invitation but I would generally know from who they were. Copious amounts of Shloer on offer!

We had a bar that people could buy from but no alcohol served as part of the wedding. There's a lot of family dynamics to navigate so even though we drink my DH grandfather would not have attended. We also had to choose a venue that had a separate room for the more Conservative family members to sit in during the reception because they did not approve of the ceilidh we had at night.

Are you absolutely sure that it’s alcohol free wedding?
if yes, spread the word but don’t criticise B&G even slightly for not mentioning it.
If no, check with them but again without any sort of opinion: “Hi Louise, your mum mentioned that the wedding is alcohol free. Just wanted to check with you if it’s not alcohol will be served at all and will we need to pay for our own at the bar? “ and add a few usual things and that you are looking forward to the wedding etc etc. tell her that it’s for planning money and travel but don’t say about cancelling the hotel.

Agree...We attended one wedding in the middle of nowhere and everyone was starving and thirsty.
So much waiting around, and no where to even buy a few snacks or drink -even coffee- til the food at 3pm.

Why would you waste £300 on a breakfast when you can drive back to the comfort of home and save so much money?
You are not paying £300 just for breakfast though. It's two nights at a hotel.
Why is it a waste ?
It wouldn't bother me if it was dry at all tbh. I would still stop over and have fun.

And what is ‘joyful’ exactly about standing in your finery for hours in the drizzle as the B&G have a million photos taken with a glass of water?

Listening to uncle Herbert go on and on about his latest hobby train spotting. The sometimes painfully long speeches and the hours lost waiting for anything at all to happen. The reality is it is not remotely joyful for most of the guests.

My DH definitely would take a hip flask.

I don't drink so it would suit me. maybe she doesn't want the aggro of pissed guests at her wedding.

They do for weddings. There’s no choice.

Check out bracelet flask hip on Amazon. It is a silver bracelet that you can pour alcohol into. My friend was wearing one at a no alcohol event for kids(I know, right?) it looked really cool. It only cost ten quid.

How do you know this OP? Are you sure they’re just not serving any but there is a paid bar?

Who wants to drink alcohol like a teenager? I think most people prefer a glass of wine with dinner, the surreptitious consumption of alcohol.

We are after all adults and don't need to hide our drinking.

before you spread the word to other guests make sure you check with the b&g.

It's 3 weeks away, I'm sure you can get a refund on the room. Just don't be that person who leaves early because it's a long drive home.

As someone who's been in recovery for years the thought of an alcohol-free wedding would have filled me at dread in the past and I definitely would have taken my own with me, hidden somewhere.

Since I don't drink anymore, I attended a Muslim wedding abroad where there was no alcohol (practically in the whole area, never mind in the venue itself) and it was one of the best nights I've ever had. When you don't drink you find that you have conversations with people that start great and then as the night goes on they make less and less sense and you end up on a different wavelength to everyone else. At the wedding I attended I couldn't believe how much fun everyone was having. The dancing and the conversations and the general air of fun was so great that any outside looking then would never know that there was no alcohol involved at all!

Are you 100% sure OP? If this is true it's the oddest thing I've ever heard and it will be a very very strange wedding. Unless it's for religious or cultural reasons but it doesn't sound like that's the case here. I'd actually love to be a fly on the wall . I could imagine all my aunts uncles arriving for their day out and being handed a glass of lemonade.

I'd contact the venue and ask.

They have a choice. Coke or appetiser or any soft drink the venue have.

Don't do that that's rude

What a BORING wedding that sounds!!

Deleted due to quote fail.

How so?

The bride is pregnant and can't drink and so doesn't see why anyone else should be able to.

Yay!

@newoldfluff

those are crap choices though

That would be an unbelievably selfish decision to make if that turns out to be the reason. We got married overseas, and planned a party in the summer.i got pregnant on our honeymoon, and was too sick to have a party at all. I wouldn’t dream of creating a dry party and inflict that on my guests!