No alcohol wedding

[KK05]

So I’ve just discovered that my friends wedding in 3 weeks is alcohol free. I was always expecting to pay for my own drink on the day but it turns out they aren’t having alcohol at all. This was a shock as they both enjoy nights out with alcohol and her hen was messy.

My issue isn’t the fact we can’t have a drink, I would still be going either way it’s that we’ve only just found out.

All in all we have spent almost £300 for a hotel the night before and night of the wedding. Night before was so we didn’t have to try and check in either after the wedding or try to squeeze it in at some point throughout the day. Would never have stayed for even one night if I knew I could drive. Too far for cabs/public transport but would have happily driven there and back. Think country estate. Plus it’s a hour away from home (bride and groom live same town as me). Trying to cancel so fingers crossed I get some money back.

There was nothing mentioned on the invites and nothing was said until last night and even then was just mentioned in passing.

My question is it unusual to mention this on invites? I’ve never been to a wedding with no alcohol so not entirely sure. I also know that a few people going could be doing with the extra money in the bank even if only staying one night or trying to arrange transport to and from the nearest town.

Would it be unreasonable to mention to the happy couple that they need to make people aware before the day? Or AIBU suggesting this?

She’s a very good friend if that helps and it’s not the no alcohol that’s the issue but the extra expense that we didn’t really need to spend. Money isn’t a huge problem for us but I’m still annoyed I’m out of pocket.

Are you assuming that the majority of guests would want to pay £300 to stay over because of an astigmatism?

Give over!!

I was just idly wondering tbh. Not sure why you are being so aggressive.

Idly wondering what?

You stated you'd stay over!

You could have read any of the OPs 7 posts (or even just the first one) to know that your comment is irrelevant.

Or even better, leave it to their guests to make their own choices

@IGotItFromAgnes that's something which used to really irritate my father, driving at night when people didn't dip their headlights

We rarely stay over unless it's a massive distance away. Neither of us drink and we are happy with an hour or so drive for most things.

Did you know before you went?
Again, this is about having the facts not about whether people can enjoy themselves without drinking

Indian weddings generally have alcohol. However, you wouldn't be given a heads-up. You'll find out when you get there.

There's usually also a massive coach (which is paid for by the family) which takes the guests from a meeting point to the venue and back, so you don't need to worry about transport.

At Muslim weddings, there's no such thing as alcohol at the wedding.

Ah, this is a good point! Will add to my checklist.

Guests often spend a lot of money to attend a wedding. There's the cost of the wedding gift, outfit, transport, drinks etc (soft drinks also cost money). It's incredibly entitled and selfish to not care whether the guests are enjoying the wedding or not, after they've taken time out of their calendar and money out of their wallet to attend.

Also, why would you want to host a big party that nobody else is enjoying? Just get married in a registry office or abroad on a beach somewhere if your own comfort is your only consideration?

Of course, the bride and groom will want to ensure their guests are enjoying the wedding. But, this poster @Reesescheeses stated:

It would be important to me that I’m sat next to someone I know, that there will be toilets, that the food is good, that it will be fun and that I get a glass of wine

This sounds incredibly self-entitled.

I’m sat next to someone I know
The bride and groom will generally sit people into groups who know each other. However, if there's a seating plan, this may not work, you need to think about the number of guests and tables available.

That there will be toilets
Of course, the venue will have toilets, unless it's in a shed.

That the food is good
Seriously? It's not even my wedding and I find this very self-entitled and offensive

That it will be fun and that I get a glass of wine
So what happens if you don't get a glass of wine? If it's alcohol free wedding what are you going to do?

This is the type of person I would hate as a guest. No offence.

Also, why would you want to host a big party that nobody else is enjoying?
You don't speak for everyone at the wedding. How do you know other guests are not enjoying themselves? Generally, most people do enjoy weddings, but you can't please everyone. You're always going to get the complainers.

on a beach somewhere if your own comfort is your only consideration
This is also becoming a massive trend

The point is that the couple are misleading their guests in order to encourage them to book rooms and save themselves some money.

No, they're not. The poster said nothing about them encouraging people to stay over / book rooms. That's completely up to the guests.

If I'm travelling quite far, I'd book a hotel regardless if I am drinking or not.

Most people who live relatively locally will only stay over if they're having a few drinks as it's a significant expense

No, they wouldn't, they'll book cabs to get there and back if they're local and want a few drinks.

Your being massively obtuse if you can't see the connection between keeping the dry bit a secret and guests booking rooms. A small number of people may stay over anyway if they weren't drinking but plenty wouldn't have and you know that. They've misled by omission.

And you could argue they are encouraging - not explicitly but by not letting it known that the wedding is dry some people will have booked rooms that they may not have.

Pretty obvious you've missed that some of those points were sarcasm...

No, they're not. The poster said nothing about them encouraging people to stay over / book rooms. That's completely up to the guests.

Then why is the bride so worried that people won’t book rooms?

Can I just say I love this thread, 40 pages of different types of crazy and people who can't read 😁

Good luck op! I hope it all goes well and you enjoy a bloody good drink on the night 🍷

Exactly... the poster wrote the below in the 4th post. The bride IS expecting the guests to book rooms so she can secure a discounted rate, something that is very standard and widely known with venues that also have bedrooms.

"She did say the hotel required her to have rooms booked for discount and she's worried people will cancel and they will have to pay the difference this is why she feels she can't say anything"

@KK05 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE please please come back and tell us who the mystery alcoholic was when you find out.

My money is on one of the groom's parents

This thread will be full before OP can tell us what happened!

because if they don't she will loose her discount and more likely have to pay for the rooms herself

As

Father Jack says

Drink!