No alcohol wedding

[KK05]

So I’ve just discovered that my friends wedding in 3 weeks is alcohol free. I was always expecting to pay for my own drink on the day but it turns out they aren’t having alcohol at all. This was a shock as they both enjoy nights out with alcohol and her hen was messy.

My issue isn’t the fact we can’t have a drink, I would still be going either way it’s that we’ve only just found out.

All in all we have spent almost £300 for a hotel the night before and night of the wedding. Night before was so we didn’t have to try and check in either after the wedding or try to squeeze it in at some point throughout the day. Would never have stayed for even one night if I knew I could drive. Too far for cabs/public transport but would have happily driven there and back. Think country estate. Plus it’s a hour away from home (bride and groom live same town as me). Trying to cancel so fingers crossed I get some money back.

There was nothing mentioned on the invites and nothing was said until last night and even then was just mentioned in passing.

My question is it unusual to mention this on invites? I’ve never been to a wedding with no alcohol so not entirely sure. I also know that a few people going could be doing with the extra money in the bank even if only staying one night or trying to arrange transport to and from the nearest town.

Would it be unreasonable to mention to the happy couple that they need to make people aware before the day? Or AIBU suggesting this?

She’s a very good friend if that helps and it’s not the no alcohol that’s the issue but the extra expense that we didn’t really need to spend. Money isn’t a huge problem for us but I’m still annoyed I’m out of pocket.

This thread is going to fill up with people who haven't RTFT commenting on how people shouldn't need booze to enjoy a wedding and other people telling them to RTFT.

@Itsdifferentnow 🥱 get over it. If people
want to let their hair down by heaven forbid having even two glasses of wine thus being responsible and not driving get you so worked up I feel maybe you need to talk to someone professional.

Or would you rather these people drank and drive? Or you want to just be sanctimonious over alcohol. Go you. It’s a legal thing to do for those over 18 years of age. Coffees actually not great for your health neither is smoking or hell even skiing all legal 🙄.

@Itsdifferentnow a number of people, including myself "reprinted" your message!

Give it a rest!

TLDR

Do not blame the B to be because she has unselfishly chosen to have an alcohol free wedding.

@Itsdifferentnow If she's so unselfish, why is she deliberately misleading her guests?

What's stopping her from informing people that the wedding is alcohol free?

That's an awfully long post for one so completely missing the point. 😂

Siri, define thick as shit...

😂😂😂

I’d be seriously pissed if I rocked up at a wedding and it was alcohol free

How would you be pissed without alcohol?

The thread length just halved now that @Itsdifferentnow posts have been deleted 😂

How sad people on here can't actually read the op.

It's not about the alcohol. It's about not being told in advance. The B&G want guests to stay so they get a discount. No alcohol, guests would all be driving home

Sakura 7
How kind of you to completely repeat my post!

It is you who has 'missed the point', but maybe if you think it is I you could expand on the matter?

DirectionToPerfection I did not know it was required to inform guests of the drinks menu for a Wedding. The Bride, or rather her parents who normally issue the invitations, have no need whatsoever to announce the menu in advance.

Your obsession that people should be told in advance they will not be offered a free alcoholic drink really only underlines all that I have been saying about how alcohol is ruling you.

Why do people need to know that they will not be served alcohol?

😂 oops, missed the off

It's 2024 brides parents don't issue invitations 🙄

Because it is common practice for their to be a bar and drinks at a wedding so yes, if it was me (and I'm in no way opposed to a dry wedding) it would be helpful to inform guests that there will be no alcohol so they can arrange hotel rooms, or car shares, or babysitting appropriately. But they haven't done that, because the discounted price they are receiving for their wedding is dependant on X number of rooms being booked and the B&G know that people would likely choose to go home and wake up in their own beds afterwards instead of staying (which I would absolutely be doing).

What about this is so hard for you to understand???

Let me guess, you're a half a glass of Sherry at Christmas type of woman?

It could be someone they know coukd ruin their wedding because they csnt handle their drink. It would the same for mine, my dad cannot say no he would drink and ruin the entire day. So whilst I might have a hen night etc wand drink, I would 100% have an alcohol free wedding because I don't want my one day ruined by him. Its not like I can't have my dad at my wedding. He is fine when sober but an absolute arsehole when drunk.

But to OP point yes I think they should of let people know so those who want to drive back and forth can.

'Repeat' your post? Have you heard of the quote function?

Clearly you're not too familiar with modern weddings and the norms around them. That's fine, but please stop berating someone for not wanting to spend £300 on a hotel room for no good reason!

All makes perfect sense but I suspect you're talking to a brick wall 😂

@DirectionToPerfection I think you're 100% correct 🙄

Lisa 46
No. It's about people wanting to drink alcohol.
When the OP started complaining, she was not aware that the Bride needed a certain number of room bookings.
OP booked at £300 because she planned to drink alcohol, it wasn't because she wanted to see her friend.
She found out there was no alcohol at the wedding and regretted paying to stay.
It was only the no-alcohol that upset her.
She learned later that the hotel made an agreement regarding room bookings with the Bride.
You see - I read the OP's messages,
stay or go - it's about alcohol.
Apparently alcohol is important to a lot of you.

My line is that it is not the responsibility of the Bride or her family to provide alcohol. They may choose what they want. They do not need to tell people in advance.

No, they don't NEED to tell people in advance... but it would be the right thing to do. How you don't see that is beyond me.

And it's very common knowledge that will the vast majority of venues with rooms onsite, there is a discount applied in line with the number of rooms booked.

Can I ask how old you are? Because it seems that you're not very au fait with modern wedding customs.

Inapickle, Directiontoperfection

I see the personal insults and making totally unfounded assumptions about people plus getting the Bride's family's motives wrong are beginning.

Once the spiteful, ignorant and poorly educated types start their nasty lies and turning the thread toxic I leave.

Good bye.