No alcohol wedding

[KK05]

So I’ve just discovered that my friends wedding in 3 weeks is alcohol free. I was always expecting to pay for my own drink on the day but it turns out they aren’t having alcohol at all. This was a shock as they both enjoy nights out with alcohol and her hen was messy.

My issue isn’t the fact we can’t have a drink, I would still be going either way it’s that we’ve only just found out.

All in all we have spent almost £300 for a hotel the night before and night of the wedding. Night before was so we didn’t have to try and check in either after the wedding or try to squeeze it in at some point throughout the day. Would never have stayed for even one night if I knew I could drive. Too far for cabs/public transport but would have happily driven there and back. Think country estate. Plus it’s a hour away from home (bride and groom live same town as me). Trying to cancel so fingers crossed I get some money back.

There was nothing mentioned on the invites and nothing was said until last night and even then was just mentioned in passing.

My question is it unusual to mention this on invites? I’ve never been to a wedding with no alcohol so not entirely sure. I also know that a few people going could be doing with the extra money in the bank even if only staying one night or trying to arrange transport to and from the nearest town.

Would it be unreasonable to mention to the happy couple that they need to make people aware before the day? Or AIBU suggesting this?

She’s a very good friend if that helps and it’s not the no alcohol that’s the issue but the extra expense that we didn’t really need to spend. Money isn’t a huge problem for us but I’m still annoyed I’m out of pocket.

There is something else going on...you don't make a whole wedding dry because of one person.

Oddest wedding I've ever been to (I was a plus one) the Mother of the Groom had just got out of the Priory...she was sober for about an hour.

Its official!

Annoyed Mumsnetter

Shocker that half the daily mail commenters can’t read. Also shocker they didn’t include the update 😂

I know many of teetotal people (husband included) who I love spending time with, bar two exceptions: one I work with and my husband’s friend’s new girlfriend. Both are insufferable on nights out as they preach about it - also meat and the one can be quite graphic which meat eaters don’t want to hear of course. I know it sounds awful but I try to arrive strategically to avoid sitting next to them. It’s really that bad and boring.

It is 98% cut and paste, bridged with the occasional "Another poster said..."

And the grammatical mistakes....

after she decides to have a alcohol free wedding

asked others if the alcohol free event should of been revealed to guests

ChatGBT would surely do a better job.

Have a 🍷 and chill!

We're not writing to the king, it's just a forum.

The grammar and writing in the online DF is dreadful (and as it’s a national newspaper it’s ok to moan about it without being sent to Pedant’s Corner!) Say what you like about the actual newspaper 🤢but at least the subeditors do their jobs.

She’s talking about the Daily Fail “journalist”, not MN posters

There were many less comments (as a percentage) where people missed the point... there's 100s on this thread.

I mean I’ll never be shocked at how many Mumsnet poster miss the entire point either.

Often it’s a case of jump on the bandwagon after the first few posts.

🤣 I was shocked at this one but that's probably because of my ingrained alcohol problem

You're spot on re the bandwagon.

For whatever reason, they have decided on a dry wedding- their wedding = their choice. The “keeping a relative off the sauce” is their excuse. Absolutely fine.

As for not being open and telling people it is a dry venue- what a pair of cheeky fuckers! This is entirely to make sure people don’t cancel their rooms, meaning the B&G have a larger bill to pay for the venue. Once again, their wedding venue = their bill to pay.

Bride is going to be mightily pissed off when all the guests bugger off to the bar.

Yes it's not always about you @Goodlard

@Karrak didn't think it was about me, I thought it was aimed at you!

If you didn't want to book a hotel and wanted to drive, there was nothing stopping you from doing this whether alcohol was available or not.

I think the cynic in you is correct!

I was pregnant when I got married (after we had been referred for fertility tests 🤷🏼‍♀️) and was happy for people to drink and have a great time

Well no, what OP wanted to do was have a few drinks at the wedding and she booked the hotel for that reason.

Had she known the intention was for a dry wedding, she would have driven home instead. Surely it's not that hard to understand?

The bride has admitted she's withholding this information from people because she needs to fill the hotel rooms to get a discount.

Another person missing the point.

OPs first choice would be to stay the night and have a few drinks.
However if drinking isn't an option her next choice would be to drive home.

It's a totally reasonable stance and how the majority of the British public would feel. The amount of people jumping on the anti-alcohol bandwagon, making out people that would have a couple of glasses of wine at a wedding are all raging alcoholics is astounding.
She hasn't said she wouldn't enjoy the wedding without alcohol, or that she actually has a problem with. All she said was the if she wasn't drinking she'd prefer to save money and dry home.

You're being deliberately obtuse

@Blueberry911

Oh don't be daft, what kind of hotel wedding doesn't do alcohol. At a wedding for people you usually drink alcohol with. Give it a rest.

Exactly this. I've never heard anything like it. The 'Oh my goodness me. Why can't you go without alcohol, you must have ishooooes' brigade are really making my eyes roll into the back of my head now. I'm not even responding to those posts/posters anymore. Their posts are beyond ludicrous.

The vast majority of people who drink alcohol at a wedding - or a big celebration (like a 40th or 50th or 21st birthday party, or a special anniversary party,) drink alcohol. Big fucking deal. The vast majority of these people can go without it most of the time. I don't wake up and pour wine on my cornflakes, or have a double vodka with lunch. Jeeez. I had a few drinks over Christmas, and new year, and probably won't drink again until a big family birthday in early March!

At my older daughter's wedding last summer, there were around 100 people there, 95 of them drinking. (3 pregnant women, and 2 teetotal were not.) There was literally two people who were annoying when they were drunk- out of 95 people drinking - just TWO! One of DD's friends (aged 27) who was falling over on the dance floor because she was so drunk. And one of the uncles of the groom who kept chatting shit and kept telling stupid jokes, and telling me my daughter could be a model she is so stunning, his nephew is so lucky, we have raised an amazing daughter la la la. Told us all this 3-4 times.

But these 2 individuals were the only drunks that were a bit annoying. And even then they weren't aggressive or nasty. No-one was. I think the posters who keep harping on about people they know being nasty horrible people when they have had a drink, need to get new friends.

Not sure how they can stop you drinking? They might not serve alcohol with the wedding breakfast, but surely you can go into the bar and buy drinks?

you need to clarify what 'no alcohol' means. Does it mean that it won't be served with the meal? A country estate hotel will have a bar, probably more than one, plus room service and it's unlikely they will refuse to serve alcohol as its how they make money from these events

You don’t have to drink at a wedding. If expense was an issue surely you could just toss a coin and either you or your dh could be the designated driver.

Quit moaning. Plenty of cultures don’t have alcohol at the wedding and don’t need to specify this in invites. Is friend from a particular culture or religion that would not usually have alcohol? Also hotels can usually be cancelled 3 weeks in advance. If you can’t, then enjoy an evening to relax and enjoy your friends wedding.

The point is, that of alcohol is a deal breaker to you, or if it plays a part in your decision making then the onus is on YOU to check things like that. In the same way that a vegetarian, or someone with an allergy will check what food is available. Or a disabled person will ask about parking, steps and access etc.
If you wouldn’t have booked a room, if alcohol wasn’t provided, then find out whether alcohol is provided before you book your room. As it is, alcohol IS available in another room, if people really feel the need to drink it, so I don’t understand why it’s so controversial. As I said, PERSONALLY I don’t think it’s that big a deal.