No alcohol wedding

[KK05]

So I’ve just discovered that my friends wedding in 3 weeks is alcohol free. I was always expecting to pay for my own drink on the day but it turns out they aren’t having alcohol at all. This was a shock as they both enjoy nights out with alcohol and her hen was messy.

My issue isn’t the fact we can’t have a drink, I would still be going either way it’s that we’ve only just found out.

All in all we have spent almost £300 for a hotel the night before and night of the wedding. Night before was so we didn’t have to try and check in either after the wedding or try to squeeze it in at some point throughout the day. Would never have stayed for even one night if I knew I could drive. Too far for cabs/public transport but would have happily driven there and back. Think country estate. Plus it’s a hour away from home (bride and groom live same town as me). Trying to cancel so fingers crossed I get some money back.

There was nothing mentioned on the invites and nothing was said until last night and even then was just mentioned in passing.

My question is it unusual to mention this on invites? I’ve never been to a wedding with no alcohol so not entirely sure. I also know that a few people going could be doing with the extra money in the bank even if only staying one night or trying to arrange transport to and from the nearest town.

Would it be unreasonable to mention to the happy couple that they need to make people aware before the day? Or AIBU suggesting this?

She’s a very good friend if that helps and it’s not the no alcohol that’s the issue but the extra expense that we didn’t really need to spend. Money isn’t a huge problem for us but I’m still annoyed I’m out of pocket.

I'm with those who think that the b & g may not be providing alcohol, but there may be a bar for guests to buy from. This would just be to keep their costs down - fair enough. It might be worth clarifying this before you cancel anything.

😂 I am cool thanks and adore having a few vinos! No issues here and I regularly go out without a drop.

The idea of a dry wedding does sound like some kind of dystopian hellscape though, some are hard enough even through a rosy lens !!

The whole reason there is potential for weddings to be fun is the great food, meeting new people, good company and potential for a fabulous boozy dancing on tables type of party!

I am sorry you haven’t had much fun or have alcohol issues. Most of us are chill with a few drinks and don’t become a jabbering bed wetting liability 😂😂

Interesting! We don't drink but at our wedding we provided all the booze. It was a small wedding of 20 odd without a bar so didn't cost a fortune!

I suspect both of these posters are spot on.

Ended, technically. But there were no pubs for miles! And I'm not from the 1900s...

I imagine the rise of Brewers Fayre etc has put a proper end to all this.

I met my husband in AA but our wedding had a free bar. Plenty of pissed guests. We were stone cold but we couldn't imagine not allowing friends and family a tipple

It’s rude not to have told people, guests might have stayed in cheaper hotels further away if taxis weren’t involved.
I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of guests sneak off early somewhere else. Is it near a town?

Ive only been invited to one dry wedding, we didn’t go anyway. There was lots of rules and it was on a Wednesday anyway, they were furious people didn’t go. (DHs cousin he’s not seen really for decades).

Not to hand, no but my other half works in rehabilitation. Just because heroin is illegal (and a nasty drug) doesn’t meant it’s more addictive than alcohol. Both ruin lives. One is just more easily accessible x

That is an especially generous decision as under the circumstances I don’t think a single person would mind.

True!

I adore my wine and don't think a wedding without alcohol is a dystopian hellscape and a potential for a fabulous boozy dancing on tables type of party.

It's a wedding. You chat and mingle with people you don't know without being so drunk you need to dance on the tables. Frankly, if you were a guest close to the groom and bride, I understand why they'll make it alcohol free.

That is depressing!

Fine don’t have alcohol but tea, coffee and tap water aren’t celebratory! So many lovely non-alcoholic cocktails etc to choose from.

I’d make up an excuse and do something more interesting that day. Weddings are dull at the best of times.

The rooms will be likely marked up to pay off some do the wedding let’s face it.

Is it like a hotel hotel where there will still be other guests or is it more a private hire kinda place.

I’d be very interested to know why it’s alcohol free given the b&g obviously both drink. Is the family very religious?

Sounds like it's too late now so unless they get divorced and plan other weddings that you would want to ask about in advance, not sure what the point would be in mentioning it to them.

Maybe you can find out if anywhere in the hotel is serving alcohol, and either nip there or get room service if you're that desperate.

How interesting! I've never been to a funeral where alcohol isn't served. I've also been to a lot a funerals. Family all over London, the south coast and East Anglia.

It's definitely weird if they both drink. It's alright weird they haven't thought to tell anyone until now. There had to be a backstory here she's not telling you

I would check as it may well be they aren’t providing any but it is there to buy

An odd comment about me not having much fun.

But I will leave it there with you.

You don’t sound fun, you sound judgemental.

Mainly Home Counties here.

Some of the people have been Methodist, so that possibly explains some of it, but it really didn’t seem to be the norm. I think most people were fairly but not very local, so would have been driving to and from the church / crematorium / house / church hall or village hall. Wakes weren’t called that, it was “going back” and is only really family or very close friends.

@Dguu6u

it’s not alcoholic to want a few drinks at a wedding Hun

do you actually know what the word alcoholic means

I've been to 2 alcohol free weddings and coffee/ tea were not offered until desert.

They had fabulous mocktails, juices and different types of mineral water. The mocktails kept coming and frankly, they were really nice.

Everyone kept chatting with each other and alcohol was not missed. I don't want to say this but it's what I think - if you can't enjoy a party/wedding etc without alcohol, you need to review your relationship with it.