No alcohol wedding

[KK05]

So I’ve just discovered that my friends wedding in 3 weeks is alcohol free. I was always expecting to pay for my own drink on the day but it turns out they aren’t having alcohol at all. This was a shock as they both enjoy nights out with alcohol and her hen was messy.

My issue isn’t the fact we can’t have a drink, I would still be going either way it’s that we’ve only just found out.

All in all we have spent almost £300 for a hotel the night before and night of the wedding. Night before was so we didn’t have to try and check in either after the wedding or try to squeeze it in at some point throughout the day. Would never have stayed for even one night if I knew I could drive. Too far for cabs/public transport but would have happily driven there and back. Think country estate. Plus it’s a hour away from home (bride and groom live same town as me). Trying to cancel so fingers crossed I get some money back.

There was nothing mentioned on the invites and nothing was said until last night and even then was just mentioned in passing.

My question is it unusual to mention this on invites? I’ve never been to a wedding with no alcohol so not entirely sure. I also know that a few people going could be doing with the extra money in the bank even if only staying one night or trying to arrange transport to and from the nearest town.

Would it be unreasonable to mention to the happy couple that they need to make people aware before the day? Or AIBU suggesting this?

She’s a very good friend if that helps and it’s not the no alcohol that’s the issue but the extra expense that we didn’t really need to spend. Money isn’t a huge problem for us but I’m still annoyed I’m out of pocket.

I had exactly the same thought. On the previous page saying how much they disliked new teetotallers!

People are entitled to want a drink at a wedding without being accused of not being able to have fun without alcohol.

Taking peoples choices away is a bit rude. These are guests that have been invited to your wedding and you're like 'yeah but you can only have mineral water, coke, or orange juice. LOL, no thanks. I'll stay at home ta.

@KK05

If the wedding is in 3 weeks, of course you can cancel the hotel. You can cancel at all hotels if you let them know by midday on the day. Only exceptions are 'saver rates' that Travelodge do (maybe Premier as well,) where you get some rooms price about 30% to 50% cheaper if you book some weeks in advance, but if you can't make it/can't go, you do lose the money.

A flash country hotel with a price like £300 for 2 nights would not have 'saver rates' and you can cancel.

Non-issue really.

Still odd to have a wedding with no alcohol though.

.

What on earth is a ‘wee free’?
And why do they have to have dry weddings?
Never heard of this. My Scottish friends are renowned for enjoying a wee dram or two and really know how to enjoy themselves. So I find this fascinating.

Well what do you think of a Muslim wedding with no alcohol then? Do you think they do not have fun? You can have a view without attending one.

Scottish Free Church.

Large parts of Scotland are dry districts.No pubs .

Amy chance the bride and groom arnt having wine on tables but there will be a bar?

I am not talking about the OP specifically. It’s more the replies from the shocked majority who are fainting with shock that a wedding could take place and be fun without alcohol.

There are two camps of totallers.

The take or leave it crowd that do not judge others and are happy to join in socially, and do not make their abstinence ‘a thing’

Then the other camp that are sanctimoniously constipated judging others continually for daring to enjoy themselves, joyless creatures and seem to think they are superior for some reason. It’s the second camp that annoy me.

Judge me all you like, but unless I'm a bridesmaid or unless I know a lot of the other guests very well, I find weddings to be quite boring in general. Lots of waiting around, plus I don't enjoy dancing. Alcohol makes it slightly more interesting.

I enjoy lots of activities without alcohol - concerts, festivals, days out, evenings in the pub with friends if I'm the DD. I think a wedding without alcohol would be quite dull though. I haven't been to a Muslim wedding or many weddings overseas. Maybe they are more interesting.

Besides which, the OP hasn't said she thinks the wedding will be boring. Just that the absence of alcohol changes her travel arrangements.

It’s a bit off to let people make wedding evening / travel plans which will be based on having a possible drink or two.

If we were going to a dry wedding dh would drive us there and back so no need for a taxi or to stay overnight. I would be pretty pissed to of paid even taxis let alone hotel fees when it wasn’t needed.

Would also change childcare. Dry driving home would get them watched at our house, drinking away overnight they would be at nans.

It’s there’s a bar in the hotel, how would the b&g stop guests buying alcohol? Just wondering.

Where are the "dry districts" in Scotland with no pubs?
Serious question as a Scot that's lived here her whole life and down plenty of travelling around the country

There are a lot of people around who don't drink who make negative comments on alcohol.

I don't think threads like this are a great way to get a balanced perspective.

For example one person describes alcohol as "highly addictive". It makes you wonder how they would describe crack cocaine or heroin. In fact it is precisely because alcohol is not highly addictive that it can cause issues, as people integrate it into their lifestyle and become addicted gradually over a long time period.

The UK overall is drinking less and less. You can see that by simply walking down the high street and checking out the number of pubs that are closing/closed. I do see drinking as something that is done by older age groups. Younger age groups seem to be more focused on drugs like cannabis than alcohol.

I think the reception will end very early and people will just end up driving home or going to a pub elsewhere l.

Learning something new every day!

Sounds like it’s gonna be a grim ‘do’

People are entitled to want a drink at a wedding without being accused of not being able to have fun without alcohol

People are literally saying it won’t be fun without alcohol! They are saying it will be BORING.

Including you. You are saying you wouldn’t even go to a wedding without alcohol.

It blows my mind that social alcohol dependence is so entrenched in the UK that people cannot see the issue.

I think they have probably vanished now but I imagine the legacy remains. When I was a teenager one of the reasons Partick was so sozzled was because it was surrounded by dry districts . Kirkintilloch was dry but I assume no longer is.

😄Have you ever been to Scotland?

I barely drink myself but can see it’s pretty stupid of them not to mention it ahead of time as obviously if everyone finds out at the wedding it will be marred by all the guests speculating who has an alcohol problem/theyre cheap hosts etc.

Of course alcohol is addictive or you wouldn’t have alcoholics. In fact it’s more addictive than heroin

What a load of bollocks.

I don't understand how the wedding can be alcohol free. If it is in a hotel, what's stopping someone walking into a bar and buying a drink?

Weddings are a pain in the arse. You have to travel, pay for hotels, buy an outfit, organise babysitters or childcare, get a present etc. Then you have to deal with the B&G's narcissistic ego trips. At the very least you say to yourself, oh well, I might as well make the most of it. Have a couple of drinks, have a nice chat with a few relatives, and have a bit of a dance.

So, at this wedding everyone is going to be sitting around with a cup of tea or a Diet Coke. What happens when the music starts? Hardly anyone will dance. It takes 2 drinks to get me on the floor.

If the B&G don't want to drink, don't. But Jesus, talk about boring wedding of the year.

I'd cancel all hotel rooms, and I'd leave early to drive home.

I would call the venue and ask if there is a paying bar?

I have been to a dry afternoon tea party wedding once. So I guess it would be like that? It was a really lovely event - finished nice and early, but would not be my first choice, no.

The best weddings I have been to always involved copious amounts of wine, dancing, great music and general excitement!! I would choose that personally because I am not limited by religion.

My Muslim friends are new generation and are not conservative, they wouldn’t care and drink moderately outside of Ramadan. Their parents however would have the mini bar emptied in hotels, would not want alcohol near them etc.