Telling each other that we’re… arriving

[Mumfromoutnumbered]

Just for fun really. DP and I have had this discussion before, and it occurred again earlier.

Neither of us are noisy during sex, but as he finishes, he always gives me advance notice and tells me it’s about to happen. He says he’s doing it out of politeness, and that I should do the same.

Politeness!

Frankly the last thing I’m thinking about in that moment is being fucking polite! I never announce it. He says he can’t tell when it happens and wants to know.

Is announcing it a conscious thing? I guess some people say it in the moment or if they don’t want their partner to stop, but surely not whilst thinking ‘Oh I’d better let the other person know so that they won’t think me rude…’

Does he need to know? Am I really being impolite?! I wouldn’t care if he didn’t tell me in advance. The bloody grunt and the fact that he then stops is generally the telltale sign! AIBU?

The whole thing makes me laugh. I never went to Swiss finishing school but I always thought it fairly impolite to be humping away or lying there with my legs in the air in the first place!

The same for me and DH. It has never ruined the moment

Been with my husband over 20 years. He knows me like the back of his hand. He still likes to double check I’ve ‘arrived’ before he does…as if it’s not obvious 🙄😂

Men aren't usually in doubt that I've cum... I've had men - sometimes I can tell by the breathing and moans. One goes "oh yesyesyesyes..." so I don't stop what I'm doing. A couple have said something like, "oh god, I'm gonna cum," and one said, "oh shit, I'm sorry, it's like being a teenager again," and I thought, "FFS, that was barely a warm-up," while saying, "don't worry, it's fine." He did not get an opportunity to improve. I suspect it's around 50:50 who announced it. I'm not sure it's a time when politeness is needed, though...

I had a ex (isn’t a ex for this reason - turned out be a total cock)
And on the build up of arriving he started making a chugging sound like a steam train with a triumphant “CHOO CHOO” when he arrived at his destination 😐

Never been able watch anything train related since 😂

You gotta love us Brits

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

OP when you’re next having sex you HAVE to announce it. BEEP BEEP I would like to inform you that I am going to climax in approximately 69 seconds BEEP BEEP

My favourite person to have sex with always announces it in advance, just a straightforward "I'm gonna cum". I like it that I know what he's feeling and make sure I don't change my rhythm. I say it to him too, to be reciprocal and so he can enjoy the moment as much as me.

I think politeness is a weird way to put it, but if your partner has said he can't tell when it's happening and wants you to say so, I think it'd be nice for him if you did.

Isn’t it so that the other person doesn’t stop, or change rhythm just as it’s happening?

Better than the Tarzan call I suppose

My lovely lapsed Catholic prude of a man kept his eyes closed during sex. Shortly after we got together, he expressed doubts that he had been satisfying me. I suggested he watch my face, at least next time. And next time, his doubts were indeed well and truly dispelled

So...how do you announce your...ermmm...arrival if it's one of those long-drawn out affairs where you arrive more than once...or twice...or....

Really?

@MaryHinges @Galatine what's with the shit, sexist jokes?

We also play around with edging so generally would highlight if we think we’re close to the destination so to speak.

Yes I think both parties should know. You must be very quiet if it’s not obvious. I’m no screamer but it is obvious.

Years ago I had a boyfriend who used to say "I'm gonna blow!" 😂

Great post! I was married 20yrs and XH never said this. He was always able to hear and feel my orgasm, so no need to say.

I then explored the world a bit, and most of the men I slept with said "I'm gonna cum". Never understood it and it put me off my stride when they did. The men who asked me if I came used to get a response of "could you not hear and feel me?" Or a sultry "what do you think?" if they hadn't.

I've been with FWB 3 years and he used to say it. I asked him last year why. He said he always told me in case I wanted him to pull out. Led to a discussion in which he no longer says it and he knows I will tell him if I want him to cum somewhere else.

It also means we now play a fun game of count my orgasms! Every time he feels me cum, one of us adds it to the total for the evening. Hilarious!

@Mumfromoutnumbered sounds to me like he needs to understand you and your body better. And that you need to be a bit more vocal about your own orgasms. Part of the fun of sex is knowing you've given the other person an orgasm. Try and be a little more vocal and help him out. You know this is one MN situation where you don't need to "use your words" Grunts and moans will do.

If you enjoy hearing him tell you he's cumming, tell him. If you don't enjoy hearing him tell you he's cumming, tell him. If he enjoys saying it, let him. Sex is about finding the best things that work for you both, not about ensuring everything is above decorum.

The language on this thread is a full spectrum from polite to coarsely offensive 🤣🤣🤣

I've had travel buddies who apparently haven't been able to tell that I have checked in to my destination repeatedly and who have asked while i have been lighting a fag on the beach with a martini so to speak. I'm neither quiet nor subtle about it and it really made me double take, and I wouldn't be averse to announcing my arrival if on the plane with the same travel companion or a similar one again <stares until the distance remembering some delightful holidays>

My bf likes to announce it though he usually phrases it in a more vulgar way which I quite like. He also likes it when I give him an indication that I’m getting close. Definitely a turn on for both of us

Oh I would think if you aren't making any noise then surely you need to the other person so they know, especially the man so he can as well if he's been waiting. Using the actual words "I'm arriving" though would out me off! 😆

Yes, this. I feel it's usually pretty obvious!

Oh dear.

I honestly thought this thread was about messaging someone to say “I’m about 10 minutes away” to an, erm, actual destination…

As you were.
I’ll let myself out… politely with eyes averted to the action…

‘Arrival’ has made my skin crawl. 🤢

Tell him the 9.25 to Orgasm Common is approaching platform one.