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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Uncle's reaction to education discussion

282 replies

Krankopi · 31/12/2023 14:53

Family gathering in Southern England over Xmas with extended family and we drove over from West Wales where we've lived for past 18 months. I'm chit chatting to aunt and catching her up on our lives and tell her about plans for DS education.

Our DS turns 3 next year and we're opting to send him to a Welsh-speaking pre-school from September and then if all goes well to Welsh speaking primary school.

The school is very good, recent investment and a few neighbours whose kids go there really rave about it. I studied French at uni and have very open attitude to other language so think it would be great opportunity for DS to be bilingual From young age.

If there were any unforeseen issues and it doesn't work out then there are English speaking primaries and secondaries in area also.

Uncle overheard the conversation and chimed in 'but you're not Welsh!' and 'it's a dead language'. I attempted to explain benefits of bilingualism, fact our area has quite a lot of Welsh speakers and DS will grow up there etc but fell on deaf ears and he really went for it at that point.

He seemed properly offended by the whole thing as if we were somehow betraying our roots (we're English and DS also born in England). It was completely ridiculous. He then proceeded to insult the Welsh, their language before aunt told him to cool it and convo moved on.

His opinion about DS education is irrelevant but thinking back to his reaction has really angered me. It wasn't just that he didn't agree, his blood seemed to really boil. He is a bit of a little Englander type who voted for Brexit so I shouldn't be surprised but I can't understand how someone could take such offense to going to Welsh school in Wales.

The more I think about it, the more I want to say something to him to put him in his place. I find his attitude disgraceful and I'm so close to writing or calling to give him piece of my mind. AIBU? Should I just forget the whole thing?

Maybe making my point another way will work better, like writing next years Xmas card in Welsh.

OP posts:
LunaLovegoodsLeftEyebrow · 31/12/2023 14:55

I mean, you do what you like, but this seems like a very odd decision.

Whiskerson · 31/12/2023 14:56

You should have said what you wanted to say at the time. And now you should move on. It doesn't matter what he thinks and he made an idiot of himself. Living well is the best revenge.

You'll be making an idiot of yourself if you do anything weirdly passive-aggressive like sending a Christmas card to him in Welsh.

Krankopi · 31/12/2023 14:56

LunaLovegoodsLeftEyebrow · 31/12/2023 14:55

I mean, you do what you like, but this seems like a very odd decision.

What? To speak Welsh in Wales?

OP posts:
AuntySueDoesntGiveAShit · 31/12/2023 14:56

Ignore him, he's a twat .

TheaBrandt · 31/12/2023 14:56

Sorry but he has a point. Not sure your son will thank you in the future.

Talipesmum · 31/12/2023 14:57

LunaLovegoodsLeftEyebrow · 31/12/2023 14:55

I mean, you do what you like, but this seems like a very odd decision.

Why would it be odd to speak Welsh in wales?

SecondHandFurniture · 31/12/2023 14:57

but I can't understand how someone could take such offense to going to Welsh school in Wales.

If he's generally a bit xenophobic he probably thinks they should "just speak English". It's not that uncommon.

PonyPatter44 · 31/12/2023 14:57

Definitely write his Christmas card in Welsh!!

Speaking adequate Welsh will help DS in the job market if he stays in Wales, especially if he becomes interested in creative industries or the media. Its far from dead. Plus, learning another language is really good for brain development.

Whiskerson · 31/12/2023 14:57

LunaLovegoodsLeftEyebrow · 31/12/2023 14:55

I mean, you do what you like, but this seems like a very odd decision.

It's not very odd at all. Pretty normal in Wales. I don't really see the downside (awaiting incoming horde of posters ready to tell me the downsides).

Krankopi · 31/12/2023 14:58

TheaBrandt · 31/12/2023 14:56

Sorry but he has a point. Not sure your son will thank you in the future.

Explain. How am I disadvantaging him exactly?

OP posts:
Krankopi · 31/12/2023 14:58

Whiskerson · 31/12/2023 14:57

It's not very odd at all. Pretty normal in Wales. I don't really see the downside (awaiting incoming horde of posters ready to tell me the downsides).

I can see this thread is going to attract various others who think just like my uncle tbh.

OP posts:
Krankopi · 31/12/2023 15:00

PonyPatter44 · 31/12/2023 14:57

Definitely write his Christmas card in Welsh!!

Speaking adequate Welsh will help DS in the job market if he stays in Wales, especially if he becomes interested in creative industries or the media. Its far from dead. Plus, learning another language is really good for brain development.

Exactly! This is my thinking

OP posts:
Alittlenonsensenowandthen · 31/12/2023 15:00

As a Welsh person I totally approve of your decision given the strength of language in the area you've moved to. I think it shows respect to the area and culture you've moved into and if your child stays in Wales he'll be more employable.

I would learn alongside him if you're good at languages so you can support him with homework etc.

Lastly, my advice as someone who has a relative in a Welsh medium school who doesn't speak Welsh is to watch/listen/ read as much as
You can - now and generally at home. My relative has noticed a difference between those who have Welsh speakers at home.

Finally, as a Welsh person, your uncles views are deeply offensive...but you know rust already 😁

LunaLovegoodsLeftEyebrow · 31/12/2023 15:00

Well no, not to speak Welsh in Wales; that does seem reasonable.

But I would consider it very unwise to basically give your child his education in a language that very few people use and you do not speak. A language not spoken anywhere else in the world except for Wales. A school where many (most?) of the children will be speaking Welsh at home and your son could be excluded as being in the ‘out’ group.

I wouldn’t do it, but as I said before - your choice.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 31/12/2023 15:00

What downsides? Nobody is suggesting that DS ONLY speaks Welsh! He'll presumably speak English at home and be completely bilingual. Welsh qualifications are valid anywhere - he's not going to be massively disadvantaged. And don't the Welsh still get free Uni education?

HairyMcHairyFace · 31/12/2023 15:00

Bilingualism is great for kids brains whatever the language. No idea why someone thinks your son will hate you for as an adult.

Whiskerson · 31/12/2023 15:01

I'm already starting to get flashbacks to the thread the other day with the mum who spoke her own language with DC, as is the time-honoured recommended approach for bilingualism, and all the posters who clearly knew nothing about language acquisition telling her she should speak English in England... 🙄

Alasar · 31/12/2023 15:01

Lol you should tell him you're moving to Ireland and sending your child to an Irish speaking school...see his reaction then!

I wouldnt bother getting overly involved with his thoughts on this..what use is it to you? Only annoy you further and not worth your time and energy.

Congratulations on your decision to send your DS to a Welsh speaking school. I work in an Irish speaking school and we have families from other countries attend there. Best of luck!

LydiaTomos · 31/12/2023 15:02

It's not a strange thing to do at all. It's a very normal and sensible decision to make sure your child speaks more than one language and to make sure your child speaks the languages of the country they live in.
Ignore your uncle and the rest of the monoglots on this thread.

Krankopi · 31/12/2023 15:02

LunaLovegoodsLeftEyebrow · 31/12/2023 15:00

Well no, not to speak Welsh in Wales; that does seem reasonable.

But I would consider it very unwise to basically give your child his education in a language that very few people use and you do not speak. A language not spoken anywhere else in the world except for Wales. A school where many (most?) of the children will be speaking Welsh at home and your son could be excluded as being in the ‘out’ group.

I wouldn’t do it, but as I said before - your choice.

You clearly know nothing about language acquisition or bilingualism so I'll leave you in your ignorance.

OP posts:
Mumof2NDers · 31/12/2023 15:03

TheaBrandt · 31/12/2023 14:56

Sorry but he has a point. Not sure your son will thank you in the future.

Why? He will be able to speak 2 languages. We live in Wales. Certain sectors (like the NHS) do require you to able to speak Welsh.

Hillarious · 31/12/2023 15:03

It’s a great opportunity for him. My French speaking Swiss friends living in England sent their daughter to the local primary school aged five with no English. She was there until she was nine and they moved back to Switzerland. Her English is still native standard and her French obviously excellent. I hope your son embraces both languages, and teaches you some Welsh too.

DinoDays · 31/12/2023 15:04

Blimey! This thread is a real eye opener!

Despite being an old fucker I didn't really believe the English were narrow minded racists. But hey this thread proves otherwise!

Why on Earth would it be an odd decision to live in Wales and speak Welsh! What the actual fuck! He's not only going to be able to speak Welsh! He'll be speaking English at home!

My flabber is gasted at some of these posters. Genuinely!

Your son will definitely thank you later!

Bookworm12345 · 31/12/2023 15:04

What a wonderful opportunity for your son! Being a Welsh speaker is a great asset for a career in Wales. Being bilingual also makes it easier to learn another language, so I really can't see any downsides to your plans at all.

LunaLovegoodsLeftEyebrow · 31/12/2023 15:04

Krankopi · 31/12/2023 15:02

You clearly know nothing about language acquisition or bilingualism so I'll leave you in your ignorance.

Yeah, ok. As I said, your choice. Not sure why you posted if you only want people to agree.

I hope your son enjoys his new school.