Uncle's reaction to education discussion

[Krankopi]

Family gathering in Southern England over Xmas with extended family and we drove over from West Wales where we've lived for past 18 months. I'm chit chatting to aunt and catching her up on our lives and tell her about plans for DS education.

Our DS turns 3 next year and we're opting to send him to a Welsh-speaking pre-school from September and then if all goes well to Welsh speaking primary school.

The school is very good, recent investment and a few neighbours whose kids go there really rave about it. I studied French at uni and have very open attitude to other language so think it would be great opportunity for DS to be bilingual From young age.

If there were any unforeseen issues and it doesn't work out then there are English speaking primaries and secondaries in area also.

Uncle overheard the conversation and chimed in 'but you're not Welsh!' and 'it's a dead language'. I attempted to explain benefits of bilingualism, fact our area has quite a lot of Welsh speakers and DS will grow up there etc but fell on deaf ears and he really went for it at that point.

He seemed properly offended by the whole thing as if we were somehow betraying our roots (we're English and DS also born in England). It was completely ridiculous. He then proceeded to insult the Welsh, their language before aunt told him to cool it and convo moved on.

His opinion about DS education is irrelevant but thinking back to his reaction has really angered me. It wasn't just that he didn't agree, his blood seemed to really boil. He is a bit of a little Englander type who voted for Brexit so I shouldn't be surprised but I can't understand how someone could take such offense to going to Welsh school in Wales.

The more I think about it, the more I want to say something to him to put him in his place. I find his attitude disgraceful and I'm so close to writing or calling to give him piece of my mind. AIBU? Should I just forget the whole thing?

Maybe making my point another way will work better, like writing next years Xmas card in Welsh.

Why do you have to make your point to him, though? I'm on your side about the school, but why waste your energy trying to get back at a silly old ranting man? He's not going to turn round with a smile and say "Now that you've made a clever dig at me, I see the error of my ways and beg your forgiveness". He's just going to feel resentful and got at, and it will become more of an ongoing "thing" for him to grumble about, rather than a throwaway rant. Just live your life and don't let him get to you.

Despite being an old f#@%er, you haven't yet realised not to generalise and tar a whole group with the same brush.

They don't speak German in many places other than Germany /bits of Switzerland, but noone wets themselves over children learning German at school!

The poster who pointed out that Welsh-medium schools are often the best performing ones in an area is spot on. Interestingly, they are often more ethnically diverse than you might expect as well.

Some of the responses here are mad, but I remember hearing a lot of ignorant comments when I was a child attending a Gaelscoil (Irish speaking school). I attended at primary and secondary all through Irish (English was strictly forbidden outside of English class).

My parents spoke Irish (father as a native language and mother learned as an adult) but the vast majority of children in both schools had no Irish language parent at home. I don't remember them ever having issues in terms of language or falling behind for that reason. Some children had bad grammar but they were well able to communicate and Irish language grammar is extremely complex.

Good for you! Ignore ignorant uncle!

Yes I think people seem to think learning a second language will be as difficult for children as it is for adults. My uncle seemed to be thinking like this when he was having his rant

He's not going to suddenly stop knowing English because he goes to a Welsh school though is he? You're acting like he's ONLY going to know Welsh!

But he will speak English AS WELL as Welsh! He'll speak fluent English at home (and presumably with English relatives in England) and Welsh at school. He's not going to unlearn English just because he ALSO learns Welsh.

Sheesh.

I don't think being combative and calling people names is usually a successful strategy for persuading others to see things your way.

@Krankopi You might like to remind your uncle that if he considers himself British he really ought to make the effort to learn the British language - P Celtic (Brythonic) - rather than the bastardised Germanic/Franco hybrid that is English.

He will obviously still speak English! Have you ever heard of anyone being excluded from the world of business because their primary schooling was carried out in a different language?

I do agree with you here! Yes if I moved to Hungary I would expect to learn the language, and for my children too.

This thread isn’t about learning the language, which is of course really important. it’s about sending him to a school where everything is taught and examined in Welsh - which for him will be a second language.

as I have said (repeatedly) each to their own. But seeing how much many children struggle in school even in their own language, it would feel like a risk to me. But clearly not to the OP and many of you too, so crack on! 😁

It is a marvellous idea - I cannot see why the hell not to send him? I live in an Irish speaking area of Ireland - most local schools are Irish speaking - if I had kids they would be going to the Irish speaking schools. (I am English)

So @MrsTerryPratchett - don't play chess with pigeons - I am going to remember that. - Brilliant

Any young child learning two languages early doors I think is such a good thing ( and he lives in Wales ) Later on he can try French or Spanish German or whatever but getting used to learning a 2nd language and using it I think is a good thing

@OP - I would say nothing to Uncle , absolutely nothing - none of his business where you send your child to school. I would laugh to myself out sending a card in welsh but not do it. Just ignore him. ( my two pennyworth )

I don't know. I find his views on this and some other things really awful and ignorant but you're right. He won't change. I just need to leave him to it. Thankfully I don't see him often

I had a Welsh education from 3-16, and have heard all this rubbish before many times.
You'll get nowhere with your Uncle, honestly don't waste your energy.

Absolutely go for it . Why would you not offer your child the opportunity to learn another language .

The thread the other day was shocking . A hotpot of racist froth.

Just to add the guy on Tik tok who learns a new language and then uses in the origin country ( he started with Chinese ) had recently been in wales speaking welsh ... he was a hit and so many young people were proficient in Welsh.There was much regret amongst those in their 50/60s of age because they had never had the opportunity to learn welsh but were stoked that the younger generations were bilingual.

Why would speaking both english and welsh fluently be setting someone up to only live in Wales?

I voted Brexit (obviously relevant as you have to mention it in your post) and very open minded to languages, learning at a young age is very important especially when living in that country.

Yes, Welsh isn't used in other countries like other languages but it's not like he has to be limited on two languages, so not sure why people seem opposed to the idea.

How can learning a second language from a young age be a disadvantage?! Go for it OP.

And try and learn some yourself so you can talk to your son about your uncle behind his back ;-)

Your uncle was extremely rude, regardless of how sensible or stupid your decisions are about education. But it's done now so I would just move on. He's obviously quite small minded and probably knows nothing about Welsh language schooling so don't waste energy worrying about his opinion.

My brother is English and went to college in Cardiff. He has never left Cardiff. My SIL is Welsh and fluent in both languages. My nephew went to Welsh speaking schools throughout and is fluent in English and Welsh... and French and Spanish. He has top flight GCSE's, predicted A level results that are over the moon, and an offer for a scholarship in his chosen area of study from a prestigious US university.

What exactly was the "point" you think he had? If it was that Welsh speaking schools are full of achieving pupils, then you're right.

I personally would send him to an English speaking school. I say that as a Welsh person that doesn’t speak Welsh…

Most weird. Why wouldn't you or your son or anyone else who moves to Wales learn Welsh?

I have a friend who moved there when her children were tiny so they've grown up going to Welsh speaking schools, and my friend also learnt Welsh.

I know a family who are moving there soon and are also learning Welsh and will send their children to a Welsh speaking school.

The more languages people learn the better imo. (Says I, who did gcse French and can now only say a few words)

Do NOT rely on this. I speak very good French, A level at least. My relative was in a French school and I was out of my depth with homework by about year 2. You probably won't be able to help so think of other strategies. Ask the school what they offer. Are there Welsh tutors if he struggles? Other parents who could get together and help?

😂