Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF ILS - anyone else want to vent?

285 replies

CheshGirl · 31/12/2023 11:44

Cooked and hosted Christmas dinner for in-laws as well as my family including my 2 small children (also currently 12 weeks pregnant).

In-laws asked what they could "bring" earlier in Dec, I said nothing really as I had it ordered from Ocado.

By this MIL assumed it was all prepared as her response was "how lovely, Christmas in a box", throughout the day she continued to question what I had made and what had come "done".

We agreed they would bring "drinks"...

Considering there were 7 adults and 2 children, any guesses what they turned up with...?!

OP posts:
TravellingSpoon · 31/12/2023 16:10

I still host my Ex-H and Ex-MIL for Christmas (done in the spirit of co-parenting a disabled child).

This year Ex-MIL tried to take one of DD's gifts with her for a friends grandchild, as that child would aparently 'really love it' (DD also loved the gift!), she complained about how I had cooked the gammon but then preceeded to eat the lions share of it. She also said she would bring the cranberry sauce and instead bought redcurrant jelly as she thought it was better (err, no!).

She was also full of cold but didnt say anything until she arrived.

Grumpynan · 31/12/2023 16:19

If she was like my MIL it was a small bottle of lemonade

fromhellsheartistabatthee · 31/12/2023 16:21

A six-pack of juice boxes with a use-by date in July 2023.

ANightmareBeforeChristmas · 31/12/2023 16:24

fromhellsheartistabatthee · 31/12/2023 16:21

A six-pack of juice boxes with a use-by date in July 2023.

With my parents, the use-by would likely be July 2003!😃

Original poster
CheshGirl · 31/12/2023 16:30

As I said, we agreed they would do drinks.

They turned up with one bottle of Hardy's Pinot - £5

She preceded to drink all of my alcohol free Buck's Fizz (this is all I had as I'm pregnant)
he drank countless beers and then they finished the night with a bottle of Prosecco out of my fridge that I just luckily had in.

OP posts:
BirthdayRainbow · 31/12/2023 16:43

The most boring annd anti climatic update ever. Not even funny.

Thegoodbadandugly · 31/12/2023 16:53

You said you had everything covered then agreed on drinks at least she brought a bottle.

tokesqueen · 31/12/2023 16:56

PIL agreed to do desserts for Xmas lunch which was for six adults and four older teenage boys. They turned up with two £1 cheesecakes from Morrisons and six mince pies. And took home the mince pies that were uneaten.
FIL recently told us he has more money coming in now than when he was working.

Serene135 · 31/12/2023 16:56

It could have been worse I suppose. They could have turned up with one of those little miniature bottles 😂

sprigatito · 31/12/2023 16:58

tokesqueen · 31/12/2023 16:56

PIL agreed to do desserts for Xmas lunch which was for six adults and four older teenage boys. They turned up with two £1 cheesecakes from Morrisons and six mince pies. And took home the mince pies that were uneaten.
FIL recently told us he has more money coming in now than when he was working.

Assuming they are financially secure, that is embarrassing. I don't know how people have the nerve to be so publicly mean.

ColleenDonaghy · 31/12/2023 17:13

But what was the wording when you agreed they would do drinks? Was it clear they should be bringing all drinks for everyone?

ISSTIUTNG · 31/12/2023 17:16

There's a phrase I live by and even say to my 5YO OP... 'say what you mean and mean what you say' I might sometimes interpret bring drinks to mean 'bring anything you especially want to drink' not 'bring enough for a popup bar' If it was important that they bought enough for everyone or a specific drink then it was on you to say so

Original poster
CheshGirl · 31/12/2023 17:17

BirthdayRainbow · 31/12/2023 16:43

The most boring annd anti climatic update ever. Not even funny.

Believe me, I don't see the funny side.

OP posts:
kidsandpuppies · 31/12/2023 17:17

diddl · 31/12/2023 14:21

Ahh that's all my childhood Christmases come flooding back!

That's what always went in the trifle sponge!

Show quote history

We had the same trifle! The sherry was "for the trifle", but my mother always bought a giant jug and would sip her way through the holidays.

Frances0911 · 31/12/2023 17:27

The Christmas in a box comment was a huge red flag. She sounds like a cheeky bitch!

Original poster
CheshGirl · 31/12/2023 17:36

They're both incredibly rude.
Very strange behaviour when it comes to food and money, when they used to look after my DS (when he was about 18 months) for one day, they provided NOTHING.
I used to have to take a packed lunch, nappies, wipes etc, she would even say "we're getting low on wipes".

For reference they live in a detached property they have renovated and costs close to £1m.

Earlier this month we called in around lunchtime and I knew they wouldn't provide anything so took a pack of bacon and some bread to make the children bacon sandwiches, about 2 rashers of bacon were left in the pack.

I received a message before Christmas from MIL saying she has frozen the 2 rashers and she will bring them up on Christmas Day!

OP posts:
Gazelda · 31/12/2023 17:36

I think that 1 week is plenty of time to get over it OP. You hosted Christmas. You said you'd got everything covered. They brought wine. Sounds similar to millions of other families across the land.

Time to move on and put it behind you. Don't bear a grudge.

SawYouLookingButChoseToIgnoreYou · 31/12/2023 17:43

TammyJones · 31/12/2023 13:48

Yes, this thread does seem a bit pointless, after 2 hours op has left the building

Show quote history

Utterly pointless thread started by OP

Original poster
CheshGirl · 31/12/2023 17:52

Frances0911 · 31/12/2023 17:27

The Christmas in a box comment was a huge red flag. She sounds like a cheeky bitch!

Edited

Just one of countless remarks... I'm at a point now though (pregnancy hormones) and age - where I will end up saying something back.

OP posts:
Crumpleton · 31/12/2023 17:54

when they used to look after my DS (when he was about 18 months) for one day, they provided NOTHING.

Why would/should they provide nappies/wipes for your DS just for one day.
Even if it was weekly they shouldn't be expected to provide these items.

SunnyCoco · 31/12/2023 18:08

Yeh sorry OP I think asking people who provide (free?) Childcare for you to also provide all the nappies and wipes is pretty CF yourself!

ColleenDonaghy · 31/12/2023 18:09

Gazelda · 31/12/2023 17:36

I think that 1 week is plenty of time to get over it OP. You hosted Christmas. You said you'd got everything covered. They brought wine. Sounds similar to millions of other families across the land.

Time to move on and put it behind you. Don't bear a grudge.

Yeah that's what I think too.

The other behaviour sounds bizarre but I think they were fine in this case. Also agree she didn't understand what ocado is and thought you were getting a prepped meal delivered.

Shinyandnew1 · 31/12/2023 18:15

Why should she buy wipes for your child?! Was this free childcare??

GameofCrohns · 31/12/2023 18:20

I feel your pain OP, I hosted SIL for two days and she turned up empty handed. I hadn’t asked her to bring anything but surely an adult can grasp social norms that you atleast take a bottle of wine or two!

PinkCyclamen · 31/12/2023 18:36

I had one relative who i hosted for years before she died turn up one year with a pint of milk - only time she ever bought anything. No explanation. It's become a standing joke in our family to turn up at any event with milk now