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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF ILS - anyone else want to vent?

285 replies

CheshGirl · 31/12/2023 11:44

Cooked and hosted Christmas dinner for in-laws as well as my family including my 2 small children (also currently 12 weeks pregnant).

In-laws asked what they could "bring" earlier in Dec, I said nothing really as I had it ordered from Ocado.

By this MIL assumed it was all prepared as her response was "how lovely, Christmas in a box", throughout the day she continued to question what I had made and what had come "done".

We agreed they would bring "drinks"...

Considering there were 7 adults and 2 children, any guesses what they turned up with...?!

OP posts:
NaughtybutNice77 · 31/12/2023 12:16

I suspect your MIL has no understanding of what Ocado is. Surely an explanation would have put an end to the tedious questioning. Or could it be that you (once again) got dumped with the planning and execution of what should be a joint task. You seem to be taking the comments as a personal dig. Do you have history.
As for the drinks, I'm sure at some point you'll tell us and it will be something stingey or unsuitable. You need to decide if they are a nasty couple or just a bit oblivious to what children and adults might drink.
Hopefully when you were on your own your OH thanked you for the lively meal and appreciated your efforts. I can't help but feel that's where the problem really lies. You sorted the meal, the presents, the children's clothes, the travel, the spare room, the timings, etc etc.

Edwardandtubbs · 31/12/2023 12:16

Half a 50cl bottle of cooking brandy?

ManateeFair · 31/12/2023 12:17

I’m going to guess one bottle of red and one bottle of white.

Brefugee · 31/12/2023 12:18

but how could OP get dumped with doing this without saying "ok I'll do it"

As a recent thread said, 50% (and i reckon it's closer to 90%) of these problems could be cleared up in good time by "using their words"

ScrambledSmegs · 31/12/2023 12:19

Did they assume the 'drinks' were for them only and bring 2 premixed cans of g&t, or similar?

MadeForThis · 31/12/2023 12:19

A smile

Sallyh87 · 31/12/2023 12:21

Bottle of wine and some orange squash

Namerequired · 31/12/2023 12:23

Isn’t there etiquette of how long to keep people guessing before you tell us?

Im guessing a single bottle of wine, maybe 2 at a push.

DeclineandFall · 31/12/2023 12:24

A bottle of gaviscon

Fraaahnces · 31/12/2023 12:24

Sweet Fuck All

Sallyh87 · 31/12/2023 12:24

I think it’s fairly obvious that she thought Ocado was Gusto or something similar why not just say it’s groceries?

She sounds like she was impressed not insulting though.

Noidontknowwhatiwant · 31/12/2023 12:25

Tonic water to go with your gin?

we have taken to giving every uncle a box of beer for Christmas - to avoid the raiding.

we turned up to Christmas at in laws 4 bottle of red, 2 white and a fizz - plus 0% non alcoholic lager for me the driver. It’s a minefield working how much to take.

alittlequinnie · 31/12/2023 12:26

My in laws have both now sadly died - but they were the epitome of CFs. First time we went for a "birthday" meal for the Mum I didn't realise that meant we had to pay for the Mum and the Dad and that they would order "big" - £7 liquor coffees each in 1999... and three £22 bottles of wine for the table and £32 per head set meals (in context I earned approx £12K pa in 1999....but the best was the last time we had to pay for the Mum's birthday meal...

... we went to a Fish restaurant on the coast - there was lobster thermador - either 1/2 a lobster at £25 or a full lobster at £50 each - yup - they both ordered full lobster at £50 each as we were paying... full three courses each with wine, coffee, liquors and side dishes.

At the end of the night when we were paying for the taxi we were £1 short and they just got out and walked into the house!

When it came to our birthdays... strict £15 budget each - and we were never taken out for a meal!

Such a shame because otherwise they were really nice people - just totally blind to the cost of meals out and their crazy ordering! :O

Peachy2005 · 31/12/2023 12:26

Losing the will to live…

QueenMegan · 31/12/2023 12:26

Sometimes people ask is this homemade or not for something to say. I never take offence. I would not tell them where I am ordering my food from I find that odd. It's like why do you need to say that?
I presume they didn't bring the correct quota of drinks.

Did they help clear up that's all I care about and bugger being polite chef never clears up.

StaunchMomma · 31/12/2023 12:27

Does she think Ocado is a meal service, rather than an online Supermarket?

Ponoka7 · 31/12/2023 12:27

Tbh enough drinks for nine people are a lot to carry. I don't see why it wouldn't be on the order. It would be easier if the slightly older people (I'm one) could pick up a asked for pudding. The stack of profiteroles and a fancy trifle, Christmas cake etc would be easier. What did you ask your family to bring? It's always better to give a proper list. It's churlish to not just explain to someone what a delivery/app/game etc is. Did your DH think that his Mum and Dad were CFs?

2catsandhappy · 31/12/2023 12:28

I am guessing, an opened box of mince pies? Shame to waste them.

Theasparrot · 31/12/2023 12:28

I give up. I'm not even going to guess. What a waste of time

thecatsthecats · 31/12/2023 12:29

My parents are very generous in some ways but my mum is astronomically stingy in others. Aka, she literally heard that other guests might be visiting in three weeks, so took unopened bottles of soft drink off the table to serve them. And wouldn't give my husband and I crackers from the box of twelve on Christmas Day because the box was supposed to last until next Christmas with my nephews - who were at home with their own parents on Christmas Day, with crackers.

SeasideA · 31/12/2023 12:29

Did they bring a bottle of Black Tower and lemonade? Don’t get me started on my ILs they were about as useful as a chocolate teapot this Christmas. Moaned all the way through until Boxing Day.

Ohhmydays · 31/12/2023 12:30

A carton of fresh orange

JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 31/12/2023 12:30

7 adults 2 children? I'm guessing one bottle of wine (adults) and 1 can of Fanta (children). Unless they didn't bring drinks at all but instead turned up with homemade stuffing and a trifle ...

Onand · 31/12/2023 12:31

Didn’t you say you told them everything had been bought? I’d bring a token something if I was told that so as not to offend the hosts. Maybe next time when they ask what to bring be more specific so they have a remit to work with. Poor them being lumbered with such an insufferable DIL who insists on being the pregnant Christmas cook martyr.

LardyCakeAgain · 31/12/2023 12:32

Posts like this drive me mad, we're not all mind readers... Next time contact them well in advance with what you want them to bring. Something like "yes please, could you please bring 2x bottles of fizz and 4 bottles of red". Its a pain as a guest to figure out whether you'll turn up with a case that doesn't even get served, because the host already has everything pre-planned out, especially if you like to buy nice wine.