Page 12 | CF ILS - anyone else want to vent?

CheshGirl · 2023-12-31T11:44:51+00:00

Cooked and hosted Christmas dinner for in-laws as well as my family including my 2 small children (also currently 12 weeks pregnant). In-laws asked what they could "bring" earlier in Dec, I said nothing really as I had it ordered from Ocado. By this MIL assumed it was all prepared as her response was "how lovely, Christmas in a box", throughout the day she continued to question what I had made and what had come "done". We agreed they would bring "drinks"... Considering there were 7 adults and 2 children, any guesses what they turned up with...?!

Original poster

CheshGirl · 03/01/2024 18:27

2jacqi · 03/01/2024 17:56

@CheshGirl granny here, i had a cradle, a full size cot, a high chair, a car seat and a big silver cross pram (resprayed in red with new hood and apron) for my grandchildren when they stayed. still have the cot and the big pram in the garage . also kept a box of nappies and a box of babymilk powder for when they visited. also kept calpol in the fridge. I have a drawer full of various sized clothes in case of accident. the eldest is now 15 and the youngest is 5! cant believe a grandparent would not want to be prepared for wee visitors!

You sound wonderful!

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SeasideA · 03/01/2024 18:58

You are a thoughtful grandmother Not everyone is the same. X

Nanaof1 · 04/01/2024 09:54

2jacqi · 03/01/2024 17:56

@CheshGirl granny here, i had a cradle, a full size cot, a high chair, a car seat and a big silver cross pram (resprayed in red with new hood and apron) for my grandchildren when they stayed. still have the cot and the big pram in the garage . also kept a box of nappies and a box of babymilk powder for when they visited. also kept calpol in the fridge. I have a drawer full of various sized clothes in case of accident. the eldest is now 15 and the youngest is 5! cant believe a grandparent would not want to be prepared for wee visitors!

Same here. Had my house set up when my DGD was little with everything she would need and bought more when out and bigger when grown out of clothes.
Also did a lot of babysitting at DD/SILs house.

Heck, I'd give them money to go out so DH and I could babysit. Some of my very best memories!

xmaswiththeinlaws · 04/01/2024 15:26

2jacqi you sound like my Mum. She had a cot, travel cot, high chair, playpen, pushchair, toys, books, clothes including swimming and PJs in every size, nappies, wipes, calpol and insisted on feeding the children when they were there for the day and inviting them for sleepovers. My parents even changed their car to a 7 seater and had boosters for the grandchildren just in case.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 04/01/2024 22:09

I would set expectations now with your PiL that it will just be the 5 of you for next Christmas Day. Presume the bedroom space will be tricky with a third in any case……
A late and quiet invite can always go to people who expect to pull their weight when staying in a house full of small children.

LonelynSad · 05/01/2024 19:33

xmaswiththeinlaws · 04/01/2024 15:26

2jacqi you sound like my Mum. She had a cot, travel cot, high chair, playpen, pushchair, toys, books, clothes including swimming and PJs in every size, nappies, wipes, calpol and insisted on feeding the children when they were there for the day and inviting them for sleepovers. My parents even changed their car to a 7 seater and had boosters for the grandchildren just in case.

This is what decent, loving Grandparents do! ⬆️ 👍🏻 My DF had passed when my DC arrived but my Mum had (& still has) everything DC needed and provides food. She enjoys making sandwiches (even uses cookie cutters to make them into cute shapes!) /scrambled eggs/macaroni or whatever is wanted by DC! She would be incredibly offended if I insisted on providing the food or pre-made the sandwiches etc.
These days she doesn't really provide childcare as it's not needed so she actively asks to have DC and to provide lunch or dinner! They have a lovely bond

purplehair1 · 05/01/2024 23:26

allmyliesaretrue · 02/01/2024 21:13

Two suggestions -

(my favourite) - don't host the grabbing bastards again;
give them a specific list of exactly what you want them to bring.

They knew damn well what they were doing. I wouldn't have it.

ILs used to arrive with both arms the one length, but at least I never bothered to ask them to bring anything because I knew it would be crap.

What does ‘both arms the one length’ mean?

Snowdogsmitten · 05/01/2024 23:34

purplehair1 · 05/01/2024 23:26

What does ‘both arms the one length’ mean?

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My northern Irish grandparents used to use it. It means not carrying anything, empty handed.

Flossflower · 06/01/2024 03:24

allmyliesaretrue · 02/01/2024 21:29

I totally disagree with you! Surely a well-off set of gps could keep that sort of thing in their own house and feed their grandchild now and again. It's ridiculous.

I certainly never sent a packed lunch to paid childcare either. Your provider is having a fucking laugh!

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Yes I agree with you. As a GPs we try to provide everything. If you are looking after a grandchild then one of the reasons for doin it is to save your child work.
Yes it is a poor nursery that doesn’t provide a cooked lunch.

Original poster

CheshGirl · 06/01/2024 12:22

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 04/01/2024 22:09

I would set expectations now with your PiL that it will just be the 5 of you for next Christmas Day. Presume the bedroom space will be tricky with a third in any case……
A late and quiet invite can always go to people who expect to pull their weight when staying in a house full of small children.

I had this conversation last night, we will have 2 children by next Christmas and one will be about 6 months, and so the perfect excuse for a "quiet" one

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