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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to think we should get the best room?

236 replies

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:21

Haven’t raised this and highly possibly I won’t as I don’t like confrontation especially not with friends at the expense of a good time but canvassing to see if my expectations are reasonable or not.

Going away for new years for two nights with a group of friends. Was originally supposed to be 3 couples and one single man but one of the couples has split up so it is now 2 couples and 2 single men.

Rooms available are:
1x single
1x twin
1x double
1x double with en suite

all in a lodge type thing.

I found the accommodation (which was not easy as there were various requirements that needed to be met), paid for it on my credit card (everyone has paid me back), have organised an activity for this evening for everyone and generally corralled everyone together to facilitate the trip.

AIBU to think the en suite room should be offered up to me and my DH? It is it fairer to flip a coin between the two couples?

OP posts:
HouseofCardsComesATumblingDown · 31/12/2023 12:26

Person who organises gets first pick.

AndWordsWhen · 31/12/2023 12:39

In our social group, the couple who have organised everything get the best room as a thank you for their time and effort. It wouldn't even be up for debate.

FinallyHere · 31/12/2023 12:42

HouseofCardsComesATumblingDown · 31/12/2023 12:26

Person who organises gets first pick.

Even when they don't seem to understand, nor have any intention to find out the preferences of others ?

Not what I understand to be the role of an organiser.

cathyandclaire · 31/12/2023 12:50

On all trips I've been on the organiser gets the best room.

AndromacheAstyanax · 31/12/2023 12:56

Sorry - this was intended as a reply to a PP who questioned the sense in offering the room to others. I failed to ‘reply’ properly.

This was my reply:

It’s generous. Just as though you made a cake and one piece was more extravagantly iced than another, which you’d offer to a guest wouldn’t you?

Emotionalsupportviper · 31/12/2023 13:02

Cmonluv · 31/12/2023 09:24

If you're paying per person, so splitting the cost 6 ways then the single folk get a single or twin room and d code between them and couples decide which double they'd prefer. If you're splitting by room... The singles get the better room as they're paying more per person.

This, The singles shouldn't be paying as much for their room as the couples.

But I agree that the person who has put in all the effort should get first pick of the double rooms.

NewYearNewNothingImGreat · 31/12/2023 13:04

If rooms are unequal you need to pay more for the best room.

NoNameisGoodEnough · 31/12/2023 13:11

Maybe I've watched too much Escape to the Country!

MumblesParty · 31/12/2023 13:20

PuffyShirt · 31/12/2023 12:09

I would never pick nor expect the best room.

If you organised it, you’re effectively the host so should offer it to another couple imo.

@PuffyShirt OP doesn’t own the house, she’s not hosting. She’s just the one who did all the hard work finding and booking it. Do you think that having spent time and effort doing research, looking for a venue, finding a suitable house, dealing with all the emails, paying upfront, while everyone else did literally nothing - OP should now sacrifice herself and offer the pick of the rooms to everyone else? Wow that’s some martyrdom you live with!!
Maybe your name should be HairShirt rather than PuffyShirt!!

Silvers11 · 31/12/2023 13:25

I agree with others. Suggest the two couples toss a coin or something and the 2 single people also toss for the twin room and the single. But we have stayed in places which are not exactly laid out the way you'd expect. so be careful, because:

  1. One place we stayed for a week in, had a twin room with an en-suite ( on the ground floor) which was very small, very little storage. The other twin room ( we needed a twin) was on the upper floor but was a huge room and lots of storage space but no en-suite. We chose the one without the en-suite because it was a much nicer room and the main loo and bathroom was on the same floor and not far away from our room. The double room had an ordinary sized double bed, with reasonable storage
  2. Are you sure that the other couple won't want a twin room rather than either of the doubles? I have 2 sleep disorders which means we either need a Superking ( 6 feet wide) bed or twin beds

So I do think it is a good idea to work it out before you arrive at the place.

Neriah · 31/12/2023 13:25

TwoCoffeesPlease · 31/12/2023 09:27

@Whataretheodds i want it AND I want to be offered it i guess

And this is how you are with friends? You want the best room because you did some organising, and you also want them to fall over in gratitude because you used your credit card and spent a bit of time on the Internet? Perhaps they should also strew rose petals in front of you?

Beautiful3 · 31/12/2023 13:29

I would claim it as a perk of organising it and there's 2 of you using it.

Maddy70 · 31/12/2023 13:33

Why shoudl you get it? Everyone is paying the same

Flip for it

GrandHighPoohbah · 31/12/2023 13:33

In general, I would expect the others to let the organiser have the best room, unless there's a specific reason someone else needs it more. But I don't think I would necessarily consider this ahead of time if someone else had done the legwork, it would probably only occur to me on arrival. But if you really want it, there's no harm dropping a WhatsApp of "Anyone mind if DH and I have the ensuite? Organiser's perk? 😁" I doubt anyone would object.

Silvers11 · 31/12/2023 13:41

@TwoCoffeesPlease I agree with others. Suggest the two couples toss a coin or something and the 2 single people also toss for the twin room and the single. But we have stayed in places which are not exactly laid out the way you'd expect. so be careful, because:

  1. One place we stayed for a week in, had a twin room with an en-suite ( on the ground floor) which was very small, very little storage. The other twin room ( we needed a twin) was on the upper floor but was a huge room and lots of storage space but no en-suite. We chose the one without the en-suite because it was a much nicer room and the main loo and bathroom was on the same floor and not far away from our room. The double room had an ordinary sized double bed, with reasonable storage
  2. Are you sure that the other couple won't want a twin room rather than either of the doubles? I have 2 sleep disorders which means we either need a Superking ( 6 feet wide) bed or twin beds

So I do think it is a good idea to work it out before you arrive at the place.

OOPS - sorry. I already posted this, but thought I hadn't! It won't let me change it as I have edited it once already. Apologies

nettie434 · 31/12/2023 13:42

I would want you to have the ensuite to say thanks for doing the organising.

Thriving30 · 31/12/2023 13:50

You could coin flip, but you'd have to be pretty quick with that suggestion, because it depends how cheeky the other couple are but they may just claim it without offering it to you at all.
Seeing as you've all paid the same I don't think it would be fair for you to automatically get the room with the en suite.

Perhapsanorhertimewouldbebetter · 31/12/2023 13:52

Flip a coin.
You having 'corralled' everyone together might actually mean they're kind of going because you wanted them to, not necessarily that you have done more work to deserve a better room.

Ladybirder · 31/12/2023 13:57

YABU- if everyone paid the same then it’s either first come first served or a coin flip, I think coin flip is the fairest. For the organiser is to get the best room then that should have been agreed when booking, or the organiser paid more. Put the shoe on the other foot- if you were the other couple would you be happy with the other couple getting an ensuite when you had paid the same? Also, depending on your payment structure if payment is ever done per room rather than per person then singles should be in the draw to get the best room, even though in your case you said it’s per person so that didn’t apply. If you have to have an ensuite when you go away then you should either pay more or book places where all rooms are ensuite

shamebook · 31/12/2023 13:59

How are you travelling? Get there first and claim your prize!

In my friendship circle we'd offer it to the organiser/organiser would get to pick! Might encourage some else to organise next time too!

Good luck! :)

BustyLaRoux · 31/12/2023 14:05

For all those people saying why does it matter and they couldn’t get worked up about an en suite and almost looking down on her for caring, well we all care about different stuff! It’s great that you don’t care but she does. I care about this stuff too. And that’s actually fine.

BustyLaRoux · 31/12/2023 14:16

Actually saying that I recently organised a 4 day holiday for family. Big house, big family. Booked a private chef. Had a special cake made for the birthday. Booked a nice pub for us all for Sunday lunch. Two en suite rooms and the rest with shared bathrooms. Two otter couples arrived before us and nabbed the en suite rooms. Gave some muttered spurious reasons when we arrived as to why they’d done that. Funnily enough (and most unlike me) I didn’t really care. But the consensus among the later arriving couples was that those two rooms ought to have gone to the birthday person and the organiser and not the two couples who arrived first and just nabbed them. You could tell they felt a bit guilty when we arrived as they went a bit sheepish and muttered some excuses (even though no one said anything). All the rooms were nice so I didn’t really mind but the birthday person was quite put out!

in short then I think the consensus is usually best room goes to person whose special occasion it is (birthday, hen do etc). If not a special occasion then it should be offered to the organiser.

BustyLaRoux · 31/12/2023 14:17

*they were not otters!

Teder · 31/12/2023 14:23

I would probably offer to the organiser but if, for some reason, I didn’t or my fellow guests did not agree, I would be a bit put out by you sending a message or specifically saying you should have the en suite just because you did organise.

Some people in the group really might not care so you need to be ask and be honest. If people do care, just flip a coin or play a drinking game or something. Make it lighthearted.

GrandHighPoohbah · 31/12/2023 14:24

BustyLaRoux · 31/12/2023 14:17

*they were not otters!

😂😂😂 Bet they needed the bath! 😁

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