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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have xl bully stay

273 replies

Worndownbyit · 30/12/2023 20:19

My daughter has 2 dogs, one of which is an xl bully she has recently taken on. Personally I don't mind the xl, but I've grown up with animals, my husband hates the dog and has said that he doesn't want the dog coming when she comes to visit with our grandchildren.
I know this is going to cause a row and my daughter is likely to say she won't come down...(she lives at the opposite end of the country)
AIBU to tell her she can't bring the xl when she comes to visit or should my husband just suck it up?

OP posts:
Bolloxforsure · 30/12/2023 22:20

Missingmyusername · 30/12/2023 22:16

No you are missing the point.

What people should be clutching their pearls about (but nobody cares) is greeders.

Target them. Write to your M.P. Tweet your Rishi.

Show quote history

@Missingmyusername is spot on. There’s a better way, where everyone (other than the unscrupulous breeders) can win.

https://www.licenceme.org.uk/a-better-solution

A Better Solution | DBMLM

At Dont Ban Me, Licence Me, we believe that the key to reducing dog bites and fatalities is through responsible dog ownership. This means licensing all dogs, regardless of breed, and providing education to owners on how to properly care for and train t...

https://www.licenceme.org.uk/a-better-solution

zusje · 30/12/2023 22:20

@Baffledandalarmed
As a veterinary professional with 10+ years of experience in 3 countries I probably have a larger sample pool to draw from. I'm not saying there aren't nasty XL Bullys, there are nasty dogs of every breed (with exception of King Charles Spaniels dogs, even though I've managed to come across one aggressive one in my years, rest all soft as butter). I've also been bitten far more by shih tzus, chihuahuas and cats than larger breed dogs. Of course when a GSD bit me completely unexpected it tore through an artery. I completely get what you're sayign about big, strong breeds being dangerous (I work with them daily) I'm just saying it isn't breed related and about 99% of veterinary personel would tell you this. We can't all be dellusinal or wrong. My other main problem with the legislation is how vague it is and that dogs that are a different breed with similar characteristics will fall under the same restrictions/fate. I'd rather come up with a solution that stops the "arsehole" owners from owning ANY dog, rather than ban yet another breed.

@sadoldmum2018 absolutely and the fact you're not hearing about multiple deaths/attacks of people on the daily from these breeds who live in large numbers all over the world proves the point it's not the breed in general that's dangerous but the individual for whatever reason (bad breeding, bad owners, bad dog)

sadoldmum2018 · 30/12/2023 22:23

Someone correct me if I'm wrong but I think I read XL bullys are 1% of dog population but made up 70% of fatal dog attacks in the last 2 years.

I'm off to google to clarify.

Zapzep · 30/12/2023 22:24

Is there not a compromise like keeping the dog in a crate the whole time he is there, it would he a shame if you never saw them again.

HRTQueen · 30/12/2023 22:24

I would be more concerned around your dd’s poor judgement for getting such a dog especially as she has children

that she might not visit and is going to act like a child herself would only make me more concerned about her lack of judgement

Baffledandalarmed · 30/12/2023 22:25

sadoldmum2018 · 30/12/2023 22:23

Someone correct me if I'm wrong but I think I read XL bullys are 1% of dog population but made up 70% of fatal dog attacks in the last 2 years.

I'm off to google to clarify.

They do.

Which was my point above. It’s nature and the scumbag owners. These people don’t go and get a golden retriever or a Maltese. They get an XL bully for a reason - it’s vicious.

You're not gonna see your local drug dealer with a Chinese Created or a Flat coat retriever.

HisNibs · 30/12/2023 22:32

Zapzep · 30/12/2023 22:24

Is there not a compromise like keeping the dog in a crate the whole time he is there, it would he a shame if you never saw them again.

Please tell me that you don't own a dog!

zusje · 30/12/2023 22:33

sadoldmum2018 · 30/12/2023 22:26

That's one report from an extremely biased source. And again the dogs that are going to be classed as "XL Bully" type dogs under this legislation is a far greater number than 1%. Think large/tall Staffordshire Bull Terriers, American Bulldog, Rottweiler crosses to name a few.

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 30/12/2023 22:35

Fuck no. Full stop.

I hate dog owners who assume everyone wants their dogs everywhere. Not to mention these dogs are banned for a reason. can’t understand why on earth people would want one.

Uricon2 · 30/12/2023 22:38

So many XL bully posts these last few days. I wonder why.

tennesseewhiskey1 · 30/12/2023 22:41

No absolutely not. An XLBully? No. And I say this as a dog owner.

colourfulchinadolls · 30/12/2023 22:42

JingleSnowmanTree · 30/12/2023 21:45

@colourfulchinadolls

so many women on here think the DH has spoken & he must be 'respected'. Like the OP must obey him. It's pathetic.

this isn't about the dog, this is about 'the man of the house'. 1950 has has a break out.

Show quote history

😂😂😂 I'm not being remotely 1950s. But where I'm sat, if my husband had expressed a deep discomfort with something happening inside his actual house, I would respect and listen to that and in this case his concerns do seem pretty reasonable. xl bullies aren't safe around children and there's no way I'd have one in my house however 'friendly' it is.

kitsuneghost · 30/12/2023 22:46

Missingmyusername · 30/12/2023 22:10

Erm what?
How are we testing this new government guideline? Is this new? (did you make this up)

Show quote history

No you asked an opinion on whether your dog was dangerous.
In my opinion if it had hold of a child and you couldn't open its jaws then yes it is

Why would you need a government guideline for this. No wonder they need bans if people don't understand this

Did you expect everyone to say aaawww what a cutie, he wouldn't harm a fly from a photograph that gives no idea how strong it is and it's bite force.

Haydenn · 30/12/2023 22:46

just tell her that she can’t bring the dog, but you’ll need to be prepared that if you say that her and your grandchildren may choose to not come.

Greenshake · 30/12/2023 22:47

@Missingmyusername you are doing a stellar job on this post 🙂 well done

Abouttimemum · 30/12/2023 22:50

I’d be more worried about my grandkids than whether or not the dog can stay to be honest.

I don’t know why people continue to play Russian roulette with their kids’ lives.

ClairDeLaLune · 30/12/2023 22:53

Going to training classes with it too.

So it isn’t trained? Hmmm. I’m team DH.

Ohlookwhoitis · 30/12/2023 22:57

JingleSnowmanTree · 30/12/2023 21:45

@colourfulchinadolls

so many women on here think the DH has spoken & he must be 'respected'. Like the OP must obey him. It's pathetic.

this isn't about the dog, this is about 'the man of the house'. 1950 has has a break out.

Show quote history

Surely people have to listen to each other in a relationship. Are you saying a man should never get to have a say? It's not 'obeying', it's compromising. Sometimes DH will go along with what I want and vice versa.

Bolloxforsure · 30/12/2023 22:57

kitsuneghost · 30/12/2023 22:46

No you asked an opinion on whether your dog was dangerous.
In my opinion if it had hold of a child and you couldn't open its jaws then yes it is

Why would you need a government guideline for this. No wonder they need bans if people don't understand this

Did you expect everyone to say aaawww what a cutie, he wouldn't harm a fly from a photograph that gives no idea how strong it is and it's bite force.

Show quote history

The post was asking if anyone could tell whether the (very handsome) dog was an xl bully or a lab cross based on its looks. No one could answer.

Achoo2 · 30/12/2023 23:00

Fionafaorta · 30/12/2023 20:27

I love dogs but there's no way I would have an XL around kids.

Especially one she gotten recently, I assume you don't know it's background?

This. 40 years of dog ownership and rescue work and I agree entirely. It's the unknown background combined with the children, then landing in an unfamiliar, therefore stressful or exciting environment. Not great at all.

FatFemale · 30/12/2023 23:00

i feel really uneasy knowing people have these xl bully dogs around kids let alone adults. Id ban both dogs from coming

HelenHerriott · 30/12/2023 23:01

zusje · 30/12/2023 22:20

@Baffledandalarmed
As a veterinary professional with 10+ years of experience in 3 countries I probably have a larger sample pool to draw from. I'm not saying there aren't nasty XL Bullys, there are nasty dogs of every breed (with exception of King Charles Spaniels dogs, even though I've managed to come across one aggressive one in my years, rest all soft as butter). I've also been bitten far more by shih tzus, chihuahuas and cats than larger breed dogs. Of course when a GSD bit me completely unexpected it tore through an artery. I completely get what you're sayign about big, strong breeds being dangerous (I work with them daily) I'm just saying it isn't breed related and about 99% of veterinary personel would tell you this. We can't all be dellusinal or wrong. My other main problem with the legislation is how vague it is and that dogs that are a different breed with similar characteristics will fall under the same restrictions/fate. I'd rather come up with a solution that stops the "arsehole" owners from owning ANY dog, rather than ban yet another breed.

@sadoldmum2018 absolutely and the fact you're not hearing about multiple deaths/attacks of people on the daily from these breeds who live in large numbers all over the world proves the point it's not the breed in general that's dangerous but the individual for whatever reason (bad breeding, bad owners, bad dog)

Interesting. Have you read the RCVS guidance on the current XL Bully guidance? It’s behind the paywall… Also, you don’t need as many staff in attendance for smaller breeds or don’t you value the safety of your staff that highly? We’re not talking about “all over the world” the issue is in the UK with this ban.

I'm just saying it isn't breed related and about 99% of veterinary personel would tell you this

XL bully’s aren’t a breed, they’re a mixture of breeds, most veterinary professionals know this. Could you please post your statistical data on the 99% of veterinary personnel?

caringcarer · 30/12/2023 23:06

I wouldn't have an XL Bully in my home. I've got 2 dogs and 2 cats and I wouldn't take the risk of any of my pets being stressed or hurt. Your DH doesn't want it and it's his home too. He shouldn't have to feel unsafe in his own home.

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