Page 8 | Being told what to order from takeaway..

Beanz2022 · 2023-12-29T22:11:28+00:00

friend invited me round for drinks and food, she said we could get indian takeaway..(context, her and her husband are veggies) she text me one hour before and said would it be OK if you didn't order a meat dish as we don't allow meat in the house.. so I ended up having a vegetable curry which, I really hated.. she had whatever she wanted and thoroughly enjoyed it.. why invite me round if you know I eat meat and won't allow me to order what I want.

QS90 · 30/12/2023 00:20

Redwineislife · 29/12/2023 23:30

@Beanz2022 I spent a year in India and the overwhelming majority of people, at least in Rajasthan, were vegetarian. The food was incredible and ever since I have order vegetarian meals from Indian restaurants. They are never just broccoli and onions, you have ordered something unusual.

If you've travelled round India, you'll know that the majority of fare in British curry houses is nothing like the food there? It's an almost totally different thing.

Latewinter · 30/12/2023 00:21

Tonight1 · 30/12/2023 00:10

Although I don't eat meat I eat fish/seafood. If I was told not to then I'd have vegetable biryani or ceylon, as I love hot and sour.

Really curious about what OP actually ordered? If it was just a vegetable curry it wouldn't have been that appetising

You are missing out on a lot if you really believe that.

SouthLondonMum22 · 30/12/2023 00:22

Latewinter · 30/12/2023 00:18

I ca't believe how awful people are being about the friends.

We are vegan. We don't have meat in the house. It's not policing - I would never comment on what people ordered at a restaurant. But I won't have it on my crockery, cookware, or in my house no matter who's paying.

I have never had a problem with it because my friends and family are good people. I've barely ever even had to mention it.

I'm assuming though that you'd give people more than 1 hour notice and not only after you've already invited them to your house for a takeaway?

TheCorrupter · 30/12/2023 00:23

@Latewinter sadly I think that's quite uncommon.
Some people just don't think. Some want to make some kind of point or are stubborn. I don't think the conflicting messages the 'cool veggies' who cook meat or buy it or whatever help, but it's seen as something you are allowed to do personally but they'll assume you'll break your morals for them. I assume it's because they think if they cook veggie you can cook meat. Obviously that's not a deeply thought through perspective.

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 30/12/2023 00:25

Latewinter · 30/12/2023 00:18

I ca't believe how awful people are being about the friends.

We are vegan. We don't have meat in the house. It's not policing - I would never comment on what people ordered at a restaurant. But I won't have it on my crockery, cookware, or in my house no matter who's paying.

I have never had a problem with it because my friends and family are good people. I've barely ever even had to mention it.

It's the extremely short notice that's the problem - not the refusal to have any meat in her house.

It's agreeing plans based on her own requirements, without bothering to check with her guest until the last minute whether the restrictions also suited her.

That's bad and selfish hosting and not how you treat friends; nothing to do with what food could or couldn't be eaten, but the assumption and lack of communication and just expecting OP to fall into line with her wishes with virtually no advance notice.

LangMayYerLumReek2024 · 30/12/2023 00:27

😳😳😳 the horror - eating vegetables

SleepingStandingUp · 30/12/2023 00:27

So why didn't you say "actually, there's nothing vegetarian I'll eat, only seafood or chicken". They may have compromised on seafood or you could have got a different type of takeaway

festivetinseling · 30/12/2023 00:28

We have people in our wider family who are vegetarian, and their house is a vegetarian house. They will quite happily eat a vegetarian meal when out and other people are eating meat around them, but I would not expect to be able to eat meat in their home. Their house, their rules.

Growlybear83 · 30/12/2023 00:29

SleepingStandingUp · 30/12/2023 00:27

So why didn't you say "actually, there's nothing vegetarian I'll eat, only seafood or chicken". They may have compromised on seafood or you could have got a different type of takeaway

If they're vegetarians and won't allow meat in their house, they are hardly likely to find prawns acceptable!

GrumpyPanda · 30/12/2023 00:31

BananaPyjamaLlama · 29/12/2023 22:48

One evening meal without chicken...... not a disaster. Veg curry is lovely. I think you are being ridiculous and childish.
She didnt tell you what to order, she said please dont eat meat in my house which is entirely reasonable. If you were a smoker and she wasnt would you expect to smoke in her house?

Bonkers and disingenuous. Second-hand smoke is just that - forcing other people to inhale YOUR smoke. Are you suggesting OP's friend was in danger of absorbing a couple of chicken molecules by osmosis?

OP your friend is completely OTT and ambushing you last minute was extremely rude. Hard to react appropriately when put on the spot in this fashion, so I get why you're chewing this over and I wouldn't hesitate to say something to friend next time you talk. I also wouldn't be keen on a veggie curry - there's no way it would have the same depth of flavour. Might be something I would make at hone but it's not the delicious sin I'd be looking for in a takeaway.

dansha · 30/12/2023 00:32

Sorry totally to totally disagree with many on here but I'm with the op...if I order a curry - ie chicken tikka madras and I get a chicken madras it's a totally different taste...and one which I don't enjoy...I would not pay for a veggie madras!

Tonight1 · 30/12/2023 00:32

@Latewinter

I get that a takeaway is a treat for OP but unsure what she actually ordered 🤷‍♀️

Ohnotyoutoo · 30/12/2023 00:33

Your friend is crackers. Sure, if the veggie host has cooked then I'd expect to eat vegetarian food. But if there is a takeaway and the host says "get whatever you want! Oh, except meat. No meat in the house" then it's bizarre.

Next time you go out for a meal together get a 12oz rib eye, or rack of ribs, or even a steak tartare.

Gowlett · 30/12/2023 00:33

Tawlk, obviously onion, garlic, tomato & ginger are in a base sauce. I’m saying that a Chicken Tikka Masala doesn’t have any carrots.

TheCorrupter · 30/12/2023 00:33

@FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper interesting. As the amount of times I've turned up somewhere where someone specifically knows I'm veggie Tom have nothing catered for me is unreal. It is very much the norm so I usually eat beforehand as in thirty years I'm wise to it.

I usually just smile and inwardly sigh but it's interesting that you'd consider it rude. I just assume they forgot.

Gowlett · 30/12/2023 00:35

I’ve been both veggie & meat-eater. It’s easy to find food for both ways. Just that lots of the time one doesn’t understand / allow for the other. Your friend should have let you order meat.

Grimpo · 30/12/2023 00:37

Beanz2022 · 29/12/2023 22:16

I paid for mine! I just feel like if I'm going for a catch up with a friend and paying for a takeaway, I would like to get what I fancy and not just have a curry with brocolli, carrots, and onions..

Sounds like you made a bad choice of curry. There are plenty of vegetarian Indian dishes that are not broccoli and carrots.

MindfullyAmazedHorse · 30/12/2023 00:38

Had you had veggie curry before? If not, then you may have turned out to really like it.

Now you know you don’t, you can avoid that situation next time.

If your friends are that extreme it surely wouldn’t have been a big surprise to you?

2welshmums · 30/12/2023 00:39

Beanz2022 · 29/12/2023 22:21

I absolutely did not say its my belief to eat meal in every meal, but I.dont often get takeaway, so when I do, it would be my absolute preference to have meat in it. Normal preference, no?

I agree with you.
I wouldn't chose a vegetarian curry because I prefer chicken or lamb over vegetables.

To those saying that vegetables come in meat curry, that is also a preference and you can get curry with no vegetables.

I wouldn't be happy with that either, but I would have told my friend there and then if it were me instead of dwelling on it tbh

Zoreos · 30/12/2023 00:40

To be honest with you, I don’t have an issue with anyone for having different beliefs round food veggie, vegan etc. each to their own. I do have an issue with people trying to enforce their beliefs on other people. Unless someone has an allergy that’s different. They may be veggie but surely they know you’re not so they should have stipulated that when they invited you, it’s rude that they didn’t. I know some people will disagree but there you go. You could have however declined and either left or said “nah sorry I don’t like predominantly vegetable dishes so I’ll give it a swerve. Thanks though”. Or something to that affect. Where I live the only vegetables a meat curry has in it is onions which you can ask them to remove so I don’t think YABU.

ATerrorofLeftovers · 30/12/2023 00:40

Bad hosting/manners to dictate what your guests eat, when they’re paying for it, IMO. A good host looks to be hospitable and thinks of their guests. It’s not like you were forcing them to join you in the meat-eating.

That said, it’s one meal, and I guess you know next time to order something with a bit more flavour that’s more filling and sustaining than just veg, like paneer, or give it a serve altogether and eat at home.

TheCorrupter · 30/12/2023 00:50

I do have an issue with people trying to enforce their beliefs on other people.
Which op absolutely would be doing if she insisted on eating meat in her vegetarian friends house.
Works both ways see. The easiest thing would be for op to actually say no, I don't fancy that and either decline or they go out.

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 30/12/2023 00:53

TheCorrupter · 30/12/2023 00:33

@FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper interesting. As the amount of times I've turned up somewhere where someone specifically knows I'm veggie Tom have nothing catered for me is unreal. It is very much the norm so I usually eat beforehand as in thirty years I'm wise to it.

I usually just smile and inwardly sigh but it's interesting that you'd consider it rude. I just assume they forgot.

Then they are very bad hosts, imho.

GrumpyPanda · 30/12/2023 00:53

Latewinter · 30/12/2023 00:18

I ca't believe how awful people are being about the friends.

We are vegan. We don't have meat in the house. It's not policing - I would never comment on what people ordered at a restaurant. But I won't have it on my crockery, cookware, or in my house no matter who's paying.

I have never had a problem with it because my friends and family are good people. I've barely ever even had to mention it.

Is it also your habit to pull a bait and switch on your friends with one hour's notice when they've never eaten at your house before/may not have been quite aware of the fervor of your convictions?

Zoreos · 30/12/2023 00:56

TheCorrupter · 30/12/2023 00:50

I do have an issue with people trying to enforce their beliefs on other people.
Which op absolutely would be doing if she insisted on eating meat in her vegetarian friends house.
Works both ways see. The easiest thing would be for op to actually say no, I don't fancy that and either decline or they go out.

Not exactly, that would be if the OP was trying to insist that her friends are meat. I never said that she should eat meat in their house I said that she should have declined. It’s still rude of them to invite a meat eater to their house for a takeaway without telling them their meal they’re paying for would be restricted. I don’t know any veggies/vegans personally who wouldn’t allow meat/animal products to be eaten in the same house as them, just that they won’t eat it themselves. I guess everyone I’ve known just understands that people are entitled to their own food choices. 🤷🏻‍♀️