AIBU to think there's something weird about this?

[balsamshill]

We have a male friend in his 30s, our friend group is a mixture of people from their early 20s to early 40s, very large, some with kids some without.

I can't tell whether it's just him being a total narcissist or something deeper.
He is obsessed with spending time with friend's kids and getting them to like him. He's not got kids of his own, hasn't tried, has a partner who doesn't want them yet.

He is just constantly making jokes around them and is very gleeful around making sexual comments (not child related) in front of the children, he loves being Uncle _, shows the most attention to one particular child and wants this child to think he's amazing, etc.

I'm probably just looking too deep into this, but it does seem strange that he's so desperate for this child, someone else's child, to absolutely love him. The child isn't massively receptive. I feel like even though he's probably a good guy, when she grows up she'll probably think he's a bit strange too.

Even women aren't this desperate for other people's children (with no blood relationship) to love them, and we're supposed to love kids.

I'd be worried about this tbh

He sounds like a pedo

Totally and utterly bizarre behaviour.

I'm probably just looking too deep into this

Nope. No you are not. This is not normal behaviour, you know it's not, and you know something is very, very off with this man. You have to say something to the parents.

Creepy

No this doesn't sound right

I had an ex many years ago who loved the adoration of children thinking he was cool. It was really weird. I don’t think it was sinister, he’d just realised that adults weren’t impressed by him anymore.

and is very gleeful around making sexual comments

?!?!?

I'd notice this as it's odd. None of the blokes I know in that age range are ever overly interested even if they want their own kids one day. There's a chap I now keep my kids away from who's the same, the difference is he has his own child but ignores him. This chap would never stop playing with my boys even when his own cried for his dad's attention, bloody suspicious 🤷‍♀️

Grooming

He sounds crackers and I'd avoid

He is just constantly making jokes around them and is very gleeful around making sexual comments (not child related) in front of the children

Let me get this straight... There are adults around and no one says anything to him about making sex jokes around kids?

I'd say you have a gut reaction for a reason. If it feels off, it likely is. Maybe not sinister but sounds like someone I wouldn't let my kids be around unless in this group social situation.

Sounds like quite an odd friendship group

is very gleeful around making sexual comments (not child related) in front of the children, he loves being Uncle _, shows the most attention to one particular child and wants this child to think he's amazing, etc

He's attempting to groom a child in plain sight and not one of you is doing anything to stop it.

is very gleeful around making sexual comments (not child related) in front of the children, he loves being Uncle _, shows the most attention to one particular child and wants this child to think he's amazing

What's with the wide-eyed faux naivete here?

As if you don't know this is a red flag.

Umm WTF you know this is weird. Weird weird weird af.

None of the other adults have an issue with this? I’d very quickly say the jokes are inappropriate and cool it with him.

And people wonder how abuse happens.

wise up op!

This guy sounds obnoxious at best.

You do realise that pretty much all pedos are just ‘naiiice’ male friends

This man is literally making sexual comments around children.

Feeling alarmed by this isn't a gut reaction! This isn't something that OP "can't quite put her finger on".

He's being openly fucking gross and yet...OP is pretending that she's a bit puzzled as to why she's feeling uneasy 🙄

Sounds like grooming. I would be very concerned if I was the child’s parent. If the parent is not aware I would alert them to be cautious and also ask the parent to speak to the child to see if he has made any moves already. Very weird and not normal behaviour. Please protect the child.

I'm in the group but not in the group, I'm just a partner. So I haven't known these people for two decades like everyone else has.

I have told my partner that I find it strange, but he knows I don't like this man regardless of his behaviour toward children, I find him very slimy.

This needs raising with that child's parents PRONTO. How grim.

This isn’t right. Alarm bells are ringing loud and clear.