AIBU to start an official inquiry into a missing biscuit

[Mañanarama]

Ok. Long and lighthearted (ish) story short. I was given some beautiful hand made biscuits this Christmas. Only five of them, beautifully wrapped, especially for me. Put in my xmas treat bag (we have a bag each) in the living room.

Some fucker has eaten one.

Order of suspicion:

1. Daughter, because I know she loves them, and she has previous for theft (of treats). But, she’s an appalling liar.
2. Husband, he likes them but he’s not likely to be stupid enough to eat one because he understands the specialness.
3. Son. Greedy teenager prone to minor fibs, but he wouldn’t like these and is suspicious about trying new things.
4. The cat. Has never ever stolen human food. Would not think to clear crumbs up or conceal evidence.

They all flat deny it.
I’m annoyed.
Not because of the biscuit but because of the lie.

AIBU to call the rozzers remove some of their treats until the culprit confesses?

And my parental superpower is letting enough low-stakes stuff go, so they don't recalibrate 😉

Wake your daughter. Don't let her sleep! Your chance to extract a confession is now!!!

This is the only true Mumsnet reply.

Op is greedy. She should have taken the biscuits and donated them to the cats home.

Given this info, deffo your daughter.
It's her MO.
Interview her first thing. You will need some ipads and a tape machine à la Line of Duty, but I am confident she will fess up eventually.

Don't completely write off it being your son. Many years ago I was repeatedly framed for stealing a particular food - the actual culprit was getting away with it by historically claiming they didn't like said food. Truth was they loved it but deflected blame by never publicly eating said type of food and thus maintaining the story that they didn't like it. I was blamed for ages. Was only when they got caught red handed that I was vindicated!

To resolve this culinary caper, a family meeting ensues. Each member presents their case, defends their innocence, or confesses to the sweet transgression. @Mañanarama

is there evidence of remains of one being eaten or just one missing ? @Mañanarama

Does your cat bring in mice? Maybe a mouse got it and it's half eaten under the sofa...

Previous form and guilty laughter? It's definitely the daughter. I would remove some of her treats until she confesses.

Just monitor the DH a bit further. Similar incident here with my favourite Crisps in the summer. Last packet to go with my fave wine gone. Couldn't get more as already drunk said wine . Dd denied it Dh denied Dh appeared very plausible. On pressing them both DH blamed DS. Only one issue as DD pointed out, crips bought after DS had gone to uni in Manchester and he'd not been back! Dh then had to amit all....

Those bastards

Are you sure you haven't eaten it then forgotten?
Cus I always do that with the last few sweets in a pack 😂

I'm currently listening to a ghost podcast 🥺- just saying 🤔.

Pretend you have received new information and leave them to turn on each other.
Then fuck off and have a spa day.

Definitely the daughter

I had one of those, she just got better and better at lying

One day I had enough of being nice about it and deducted £20 of her pocket money for a £4 bar of chocolate she stole

She cried. She raged. She got hysterical.

Eventually after hours of this crap she wailed 'how did you know it was me'

To which the answer was 'because there's only 3 of us in the house this week you daft twat'

She still (20 years later) finds this hilarious at how bad a liar she was

You have a mouse, it has taken it to feed the baby mice. It was their Xmas treat.

Have you tried the bins for the wrapping? The location of the wrapper might give you a clue, so if it is in your son's room it is probably your daughter.

You need to present all your evidence in grid form like in Murdle so we can examine it properly. This way the culprit will be revealed.

Turn off the wifi until the mystery is solved/dd confesses. Teenage girls can't live without internet.

Firstly thank you OP - I nominate this thread for classics as it has really made my morning.

secondly, my money is on DD as I would have been the child on that situation who couldn’t resist. I’d be tempted to suggest your sad and disappointed but will accept replacement to make up for it. I would then heavily hint to DH he knows how to resolve this situation (despite not being guilty). Worst case only dh replaces biscuits, best case dh and ds and dd all replace biscuits- mystery not solved but many biscuits make up for it! 😂

This is genius!

I think it was a team effort.

They took it and shared it between them.

*fromhellsheartistabatthee" · Yesterday 23:42

Can you totally exclude the possibility that a freak wormhole opened up in the space-time continuum...

I'm sure she'd remember having put a biscuit in the washing machine. I mean, that's why odd socks exist.

Anyway... My money is also on your daughter. But whoever scoffed it, it was a pretty crummy trick.

Did you eat one in the night when you got up for the loo half asleep?

I vote the daughter (from the laughing coming downstairs), but that your son might well know something. Apply pressure and he might crack.

Log it with 111.