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Original poster

To get my brother fired

170 replies

Hooplahooping · 28/12/2023 18:56

A couple of months ago my brother told me he looked at my students files while he was working in the student office (he’s doing a masters at the uni I did my under grad at yrs ago - and is working in admin there part time while studying

I brushed it off at the time as poor judgement. But it bothered me sufficiently that I requested my own records to see what was on file there which arrived today.

  • All my transcripts + degree grades etc
  • A disciplinary panel record from when I sloppily referenced an essay + had to discuss plagerism with faculty and re submit.
  • a disciplinary record for poor seminar attendance and ‘attendance agreement’
  • a letter from my GP about anxiety
  • a letter from Marie Stopes about a pregnancy termination which required absence from said seminar series I’d signed an attendance agreement.
  • some standard halls of residence + student loan details.

I am truly not ashamed of 19 year old me - nor is any of it info that would explode my life if the world knows (DH knows everything anyway) - but that doesn’t mean that I would chose to share that information widely. Certainly not with a brother who I am not particularly close to.

I’m happy now, I have a happy balanced life with DH and two lovely DDs

what was he thinking? Is he trying to secretly shame me? Hang it over my head to make me feel bad?

He’s extremely brittle and if I ask him about it further he’ll cry and make excuse and melt into a puddle.

I think I’m just going to sit down and tell my parents all the potentially upsetting stuff just so I feel like I have control of the information. I’m not concerned that it will change their opinion of me.

I am furious though. I want to tell the university and get him fired.

how dare he? I’m so fed up with treading on eggshells around him because ‘life is harder for him’

OP posts:
ACynicalDad · 28/12/2023 18:59

Yes and frankly 20 year old files shouldn’t be routinely available the Uni should have better procedures in place. You could report them to the information commissioner’s office instead.

sonjadog · 28/12/2023 18:59

I think telling your parents is a good way to deal with this. I understand that it is tempting to tell the university and get him fired, but presumably he will know that it is you who told him and it will have consequences for your future relationship with him and potentially also your parents.

Mintygoodness · 28/12/2023 19:02

What's the back story here? Why is life harder for him?

He was completely out of line and here in the US I think this conduct would be illegal. I think you have every right to be furious at him breaking boundaries in such an offensive way. Anyone else should get reported, as it's your brother I think you need to explain why you seem to have a bad relationship already.

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 28/12/2023 19:03

ACynicalDad · 28/12/2023 18:59

Yes and frankly 20 year old files shouldn’t be routinely available the Uni should have better procedures in place. You could report them to the information commissioner’s office instead.

This.

but also:
I’m so fed up with treading on eggshells around him because ‘life is harder for him’
why is life harder for him?

lanthanum · 28/12/2023 19:04

Do you know that he actually saw all that stuff? It may be that some of that stuff is not on your central file - a SAR would obtain everything held by any part of the university.

Peppermint81 · 28/12/2023 19:05

No big deal, I would sneak a peek at someone I knew records if opportunity was there. Just out of curiosity- doubt he thought he would uncover anything important .
He unlikely to tell your parents or anyone, just will perhaps understand you better or have more empathy towards you.
Just forget it, not relevant to your current life now and you trying to get your brother fired seems rather extreme in this understandable situation - let him finish his masters and try to do well with his life

DisforDarkChocolate · 28/12/2023 19:06

If he's looked you up he's likely to have looked up friends and colleagues too. I'd report.

Cerealkiller4U · 28/12/2023 19:07

I mean it’s not up to you if he’s gets fired or whatnot

nut 1000000% report him yes. Without a shred of doubt. That’s done serious GDPR rules in place for this kind of stuff

Holly60 · 28/12/2023 19:08

To be really honest, if it was MY brother who did this I'd roll my eyes and tell him he could have just asked me, and then not give it another thought.

But that's our relationship not yours. I wouldn't personally suggest taking the nuclear option. Talking to your parents is a good step if you feel that will help.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 28/12/2023 19:08

You have to decide based on what you know of your brother, but I'm worried that someone with so little judgement has access to student files? What if he fancies a girl / boy on his course? What if he doesn't get on with someone? We he access their files?

ArseMenagerie · 28/12/2023 19:09

I think it is a big deal - it’s private and he sounds both manipulative and untrustworthy. I would tell the uni!

Saltysausage · 28/12/2023 19:09

Does he have any reason within his role to look at such old files? If that then that may create a flag in the system. If you reported him the university may look at the other files he’s been accessing that may be irrelevant to his role.

SutWytTi · 28/12/2023 19:10

Oh no. I'd find it hard to report him, although I think what he did is disgraceful.

I think I might have a serious chat and give him chance to leave voluntarily.

What an absolute arse.

JenJenJenJenJenJen · 28/12/2023 19:10

Why do you believe him?

Edited to remove something I misread.

Cmonluv · 28/12/2023 19:10

If you worked within an organisation and you did that you'd be in breach of data protection and contract and could be fired, would infact be fired if NHS and also subject to disciplinary and I know of at least 1 nurse who was struck off for similar.

GreekDogRescue · 28/12/2023 19:12

I’d report him

Bepopp · 28/12/2023 19:12

He’s reaaaally manipulative.

justthecat · 28/12/2023 19:13

I agree with the above poster that you won't be the only person who he looked up

psspsspssmrrowww · 28/12/2023 19:13

Report him.
If not for you. For the other people whose lives might be impacted by having their personal data lying around like this.
How are 20 year old files even accessible?

Also I don't see why him crying/melting is a problem. He told you. Him being manipulative by making himself a victim isn't your fault. Even better if you record him doing it actually get him to re-admit it so you have video proof for the university.

Theunamedcat · 28/12/2023 19:14

Why is life harder for him? because he is so fragile?

drowninginsick · 28/12/2023 19:14

Peppermint81 · 28/12/2023 19:05

No big deal, I would sneak a peek at someone I knew records if opportunity was there. Just out of curiosity- doubt he thought he would uncover anything important .
He unlikely to tell your parents or anyone, just will perhaps understand you better or have more empathy towards you.
Just forget it, not relevant to your current life now and you trying to get your brother fired seems rather extreme in this understandable situation - let him finish his masters and try to do well with his life

Hopefully you're joking 😂 any normal
Person would know it's a big deal and you would get fired if caught

Universalsnail · 28/12/2023 19:15

Who needs enemies when your sister will try and get you fired.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 28/12/2023 19:15

Peppermint81 · 28/12/2023 19:05

No big deal, I would sneak a peek at someone I knew records if opportunity was there. Just out of curiosity- doubt he thought he would uncover anything important .
He unlikely to tell your parents or anyone, just will perhaps understand you better or have more empathy towards you.
Just forget it, not relevant to your current life now and you trying to get your brother fired seems rather extreme in this understandable situation - let him finish his masters and try to do well with his life

Really? If you worked at a university you'd look up files of people you know? Would you do the same if you worked in a hospital and look up health records? Of course it's a big deal, it's a breach of data protection and likely also of your employment contract and would get you fired.

Ponoka7 · 28/12/2023 19:16

Peppermint81 · 28/12/2023 19:05

No big deal, I would sneak a peek at someone I knew records if opportunity was there. Just out of curiosity- doubt he thought he would uncover anything important .
He unlikely to tell your parents or anyone, just will perhaps understand you better or have more empathy towards you.
Just forget it, not relevant to your current life now and you trying to get your brother fired seems rather extreme in this understandable situation - let him finish his masters and try to do well with his life

As said he won't just be looking up the OP's files. They hold medical information. This can include abortions, MH issues, Hepatitis and HIV information. As well as DV, child matters etc.
We have a relative who told everyone about sexual abuse found out via snooping, it's caused massive rifts in the family and caused the end of the person's relationship. A local police officer has just been sacked for snooping. No-one knows what he will do with what he finds out.
OP this needs reporting.

EucalyptusPeppermint · 28/12/2023 19:17

He’s extremely brittle and if I ask him about it further he’ll cry and make excuse and melt into a puddle

Tough. He’s breached data protection, I’d be reporting him. Someone in my family mentioned something to me that they’d only know by seeing my medical records so I contacted the hospital, the system was interrogated (whatever that means) and it transpired her and her sister who worked there had accessed my records. Both were sacked and deservedly so imo.

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