Page 10 | Men using Mumsnet

Moonshine5 · 2023-12-28T10:12:00+00:00

Mumsnet was always a *safe space* to me, a community of women for women and recently I have noticed an influx of husbands on here. Can't women have anything just for themselves?_I_ _t's getting on my nerves!_ (I'm not talking about same sex marriage / partners and I believe in equality). AINBU Men please seek alternative forms 😊 AIBU Men belong here 🙄

Beryls · 28/12/2023 14:43

Yes I do go on those boards and comment etc. Having been on mumsnet for many years and active on lots of different boards I can also notice that those particular boards are where the men tend to be and wonder why.

arewedoneyet · 28/12/2023 14:43

AmazingDayz · 28/12/2023 14:38

I’d rather have dads on here than child free people 🤷‍♀️

But there are sections on dogs, cats, gardening, medical concerns why shouldn't they be part of those? What about the people trying to be parents or who cannot be for whatever reason?

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 28/12/2023 14:43

Neitheronethingnortheother · 28/12/2023 14:34

@FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper

PerfectlyPointyPencilsNet

I'm stealing that for my new forum name!!

Make sure you clearly state that, in spite of the name, felt-tip and crayon fans are also very welcome

arewedoneyet · 28/12/2023 14:45

@AmazingDayz just read your follow up post, think that's a pretty abhorrent post to not like posters based on if they have children as if they have nothing else to contribute

AmazingDayz · 28/12/2023 14:46

Same for not liking posters just because they are male then…

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 28/12/2023 14:46

Candycurrantbun · 28/12/2023 14:42

Mostly because they like to announce their arrival and mansplain to the 'ladies'

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And all of the ones who don't do that.......???

Candycurrantbun · 28/12/2023 14:46

Don't get me started on the men who start 'amusing' threads and the women on here who fawn all over them. Makes me cringe.

WhateverMate · 28/12/2023 14:48

Brefugee · 28/12/2023 14:42

but the posts saying "leave the farting cheating cunty twat" aren't saying that because sexism.

And while there is the very rare "all men are raging cunty fuckers" it is very rare and they are usually very roundly and soundly taken to task.

Far more there are descriptions of utter bastard controlling fuckers, and the handmaidens all trolling along to say how mean people are to call them cunty fuckers.

And of course, you can always report the really bad sexist stuff and leave it to the mods.

I'm not saying "well we should do it because it is all over the internet the other way round" i AM saying that just because we're a bunch of women doesn't mean we can't talk about utter cunty fucker twats ruining our marriages. We don't have to "be kind" or "act ladylike" if we don't want. That is what leads to a lot of the stuff on relationships and AIBU

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As I said, sexism is never acceptable.

Including the horribly sexist use of 'Handmaidens'.

It's as bad as 'Karen' in my opinion.

WhateverMate · 28/12/2023 14:50

Beryls · 28/12/2023 14:43

Yes I do go on those boards and comment etc. Having been on mumsnet for many years and active on lots of different boards I can also notice that those particular boards are where the men tend to be and wonder why.

Perhaps like you, they've been on mumsnet for many years and active on lots of different boards too 🤷‍♂️

Brefugee · 28/12/2023 14:50

nah - Handmaidens is an actual term to describe an actual behaviour that is displayed that needs a whole paragraph.

Those women who come on here and simper and excuse the cunty men can do one as far as i'm concerned. And if they don't being like called Handmaidens they can stop doing that.

Karen i agree with you because that is used against women asserting their rights in exactly the way a man would. Handmaidens are excusing bad behaviour against their own sex class.

minicheddars87 · 28/12/2023 14:51

LeonieSN93 · 28/12/2023 14:19

Then you're not 'childfree' as this is used to describe women who made the conscious decision to choose not to have children rather than those who wanted them but can't have them.

In what way is it offensive to state that I'd rather receive parenting advice from people who have actual experience in parenting? As I said before nobody cares about CF people being on the site generally but if I'm using the parenting board to ask for advice regarding weaning, bedtime routine, use of screen time etc then I'm really not interested in hearing about what a CF thinks.

For pretty much the same reasons I don't seek advice about how to care for my eyes from a gynecologist. You're not owed my time when I simply don't think you can offer me meaningful advice.

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Well bloody put @LeonieSN93

You've got to the laugh at the idea of parents using the parenting board to get advice from other parents offensive 🙄Dear God...

I'm totally in support of Cf people using mumsnet as lets be honest this site has become way more than just parenting advice but my God its not unreasonable for people to be a bit miffed that you're trying to advise them on how to handle a situation with their real children based on what you would do with your imaginary ones.

Brefugee · 28/12/2023 14:51

posted too soon: so i can see why you might think it's "sexist" to call out women who excuse the worst kind of men. But frankly i can live with that.

NewPinkJacket · 28/12/2023 14:53

Brefugee · 28/12/2023 14:50

nah - Handmaidens is an actual term to describe an actual behaviour that is displayed that needs a whole paragraph.

Those women who come on here and simper and excuse the cunty men can do one as far as i'm concerned. And if they don't being like called Handmaidens they can stop doing that.

Karen i agree with you because that is used against women asserting their rights in exactly the way a man would. Handmaidens are excusing bad behaviour against their own sex class.

What's the male equivalent of a Handmaiden?

Is there even one?

Handmaiden which is always used as an insult against women, is 100% sexist.

TheChippendenSpook · 28/12/2023 14:55

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 28/12/2023 14:27

I'm disgusted at the pencil sharpener enthusiasts already trying to derail this thread and make it all about themselves. This forum is called MUMSnet - why can't they go and post on PerfectlyPointyPencilsNet instead?!

This topic comes up soooo very regularly. It's ironic, really, because it's basically somebody coming on and saying "This is OUR club and WE don't want xxxx people allowed into it" - but if they hadn't just come along and joined the 'club' themselves, they would be fully acquainted with many of the previous 435,376,902 threads dealing with the exact same thing.

Imagine being a newbie joining a 'club' and assuming that ANY characteristic that you have gives you the right to denounce and seek to eject other long-standing 'members' who happen to not share that characteristic. Isn't that exactly the kind of bullish takeover behaviour that, erm, men on MN are routinely assumed to all display by certain posters?

I'm impressed by all the self-professing psychics who claim to be able to 'always know' when a man posts, because of the arrogant, self-important, domineering way that a minority of (self-identified) men on here behave. What you're basically saying is that "It's ALWAYS obvious, except for the very many times when it isn't", which doesn't sound like the most robust scientific conclusion to reach. Moreover, even if this site did seek and find a foolproof way to eliminate all male posters, if you think that would mean an end to all arrogant, self-important, domineering posters on MN, I have some magic beans to sell you for a today-only bargain price.

And as a parent, I'd like to stick up for the non-parents on here, who seem to also regularly cop for criticism as to how a non-parent could possibly have a 'valid' opinion on Eastenders, decorating, dogs, holidays, cars, property renovations, family disagreements, bill-splitting disputes, Christmas, neighbourhood parking wars, cost of living, music, energy suppliers, M&S returns policy, biscuits, technology, fashion, books, horses, carpets........... and all of these other things that only a mum (and possibly the occasional dad, if we're being condescendingly kind) could remotely know anything about...

I'm sorry.... I'm off there to resister (with my newly sharpened pencil) right now 🤭

Brefugee · 28/12/2023 14:55

are you not understanding the point here? Women can be utterly vile too.

I have zero regard for the women who come on here, read some really harrowing post about an utterly vile "D"H and defend him because he's a man. There is a term for that and I'm not worried about using it. And sure, that makes me - sometimes - a mean girl. I can live with it because those women deserve the criticism. Handmaidens is a very shorthand way to describe it. Like Terf, GC, mansplaining or many other terms that have longer explanations that i CBA to write in full

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 28/12/2023 14:56

I must admit, it's taking me a moment to see the abbreviation 'CF' on here and then properly read it in context as 'child-free'!

kitsuneghost · 28/12/2023 14:58

rainydaysandwednesdays · 28/12/2023 14:09

If we are banning men, I'd also like to ban the hard left wing, blue haired, tattoo brigade who have no intention of ever being a Mum.

What about right wing, no tattoos, brown haired brigade who have no intention of ever being a mum

Brefugee · 28/12/2023 14:59

ban everyone!

WhateverMate · 28/12/2023 15:00

Brefugee · 28/12/2023 14:55

are you not understanding the point here? Women can be utterly vile too.

I have zero regard for the women who come on here, read some really harrowing post about an utterly vile "D"H and defend him because he's a man. There is a term for that and I'm not worried about using it. And sure, that makes me - sometimes - a mean girl. I can live with it because those women deserve the criticism. Handmaidens is a very shorthand way to describe it. Like Terf, GC, mansplaining or many other terms that have longer explanations that i CBA to write in full

It's sexist but if you're happy with that then you're happy with it 🤷‍♂️

TilNextYear · 28/12/2023 15:05

We promote our site as being "by parents, for parents" and we'd very much hope that included parents of both genders and of all ages.

Genders? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Oh @LilyMumsnet

I don’t care if men are on mumsnet, but it does annoy me that they’ve made the sex topic unusable for a lot of female posters. Many of those men seem to trawl for any posts mentioning sex on other boards too. They need to fuck off.

Men posting respectfully, not mansplaining, not being pervs...all good.

Witchcraftandhokum · 28/12/2023 15:09

I believe in equality

Er, no you don't.

kitsuneghost · 28/12/2023 15:12

TilNextYear · 28/12/2023 15:05

We promote our site as being "by parents, for parents" and we'd very much hope that included parents of both genders and of all ages.

Genders? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Oh @LilyMumsnet

I don’t care if men are on mumsnet, but it does annoy me that they’ve made the sex topic unusable for a lot of female posters. Many of those men seem to trawl for any posts mentioning sex on other boards too. They need to fuck off.

Men posting respectfully, not mansplaining, not being pervs...all good.

To be fair I never understand why people post sensitive issues on a public forum unless they genuinely don't mind who sees it .

DuplicateUserName · 28/12/2023 15:12

Anyone else disappointed the OP didn't explain what she meant about gay posters?

I'm still baffled.

Witchcraftandhokum · 28/12/2023 15:12

If we are banning men, I'd also like to ban the hard left wing, blue haired, tattoo brigade who have no intention of ever being a Mum.

We promote our site as being "by parents, for parents" and we'd very much hope that included parents of both genders and of all ages

Fuck me, as a non-parent I've never felt less welcome on here!

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 28/12/2023 15:16

kitsuneghost · 28/12/2023 14:58

What about right wing, no tattoos, brown haired brigade who have no intention of ever being a mum

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...or even just the men who have no intention of ever being a mum...