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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel DH is hiding something on his ipad

136 replies

grumpesaurus · 28/12/2023 02:12

DH just unearthed an ancient iPad he had and charged it - from about 10 years ago.
Once charged we were just exploring on it as it was sort of stuck in time from 2013. In the photo gallery were some of MIL's art (MIL is an artist) but he without saying anything took the iPad off me and started talking about our holiday next week. I then picked it up to look at the painting I was looking at, but he then said he was sleepy and took it off me again.

I didn't say anything because I was a bit taken aback. AIBU to think he's hiding something? And even if he was, it's something that's from 6 years before we even met...

OP posts:
kiminodrink · 28/12/2023 02:16

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Original poster
grumpesaurus · 28/12/2023 02:17

This reply has been deleted

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

I think I did say something vaguely like that and he said he was tired

OP posts:
Original poster
grumpesaurus · 28/12/2023 02:18

I am now tempted to go and have a look.. we're sleeping in separate rooms because DC is unwell and co-sleeping with me. So he's in the room with the ipad

OP posts:
kiminodrink · 28/12/2023 02:18

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Original poster
grumpesaurus · 28/12/2023 02:20

Hmm I could have been more assertive but for some reason I just felt like it wasn't mine so couldn't do that

OP posts:
Goingtothinkofone · 28/12/2023 02:22

If it’s from before you met just leave it. Probably naked pics of an ex maybe?

pizzaHeart · 28/12/2023 02:23

there are some photos of his previous partner/ GF he didn’t tell you about.

Original poster
grumpesaurus · 28/12/2023 02:23

Goingtothinkofone · 28/12/2023 02:22

If it’s from before you met just leave it. Probably naked pics of an ex maybe?

😯

OP posts:
Original poster
grumpesaurus · 28/12/2023 02:25

pizzaHeart · 28/12/2023 02:23

there are some photos of his previous partner/ GF he didn’t tell you about.

But also so what.. I wouldn't mind if he saw photos of my ex. Unless like @Goingtothinkofone says, it's a naked pic..

OP posts:
Namechangedworriedmama · 28/12/2023 02:35

Check his iPad and his deleted photos too
Also check his files. If the picture was downloaded off the Internet and deleted from his gallery, chances are it will still be in the files folder

Original poster
grumpesaurus · 28/12/2023 02:39

Namechangedworriedmama · 28/12/2023 02:35

Check his iPad and his deleted photos too
Also check his files. If the picture was downloaded off the Internet and deleted from his gallery, chances are it will still be in the files folder

Do you think I should sneak into the room now

OP posts:
LusaBatoosa · 28/12/2023 02:40

If it’s from before you met, then why does it matter? Let him have his privacy.

LusaBatoosa · 28/12/2023 02:40

grumpesaurus · 28/12/2023 02:39

Do you think I should sneak into the room now

Show quote history

Sweet Jesus.

TheShellBeach · 28/12/2023 02:41

Would you be upset if you did find naked pics of an ex on it?

TheShellBeach · 28/12/2023 02:41

grumpesaurus · 28/12/2023 02:39

Do you think I should sneak into the room now

Show quote history

You might as well.

Goingtothinkofone · 28/12/2023 02:45

Namechangedworriedmama · 28/12/2023 02:35

Check his iPad and his deleted photos too
Also check his files. If the picture was downloaded off the Internet and deleted from his gallery, chances are it will still be in the files folder

But whyyyyyyy? What good can come of it? It’s from before they even met!

Calamitousness · 28/12/2023 02:46

just leave it alone. If he wants to hide something or delete it etc. then surely that’s ok. That’s him being respectful to you. It’s none of your business if it is from prior to meeting you.

Goingtothinkofone · 28/12/2023 02:48

grumpesaurus · 28/12/2023 02:39

Do you think I should sneak into the room now

Show quote history

No. No. No.

if it is anything to do with an ex there’s her privacy too. I’m sure whoever she is she’s now happily married off herself and doesn’t want her ex from a decade back’s wife nosing through their correspondence or pictures or whatever.

Original poster
grumpesaurus · 28/12/2023 02:49

LusaBatoosa · 28/12/2023 02:40

Sweet Jesus.

Show quote history

😬 sorry I am literally making myself cringe too

OP posts:
Original poster
grumpesaurus · 28/12/2023 02:51

Calamitousness · 28/12/2023 02:46

just leave it alone. If he wants to hide something or delete it etc. then surely that’s ok. That’s him being respectful to you. It’s none of your business if it is from prior to meeting you.

Unless it's nothing about an ex and something about him..

OP posts:
viixta · 28/12/2023 02:52

The only advice I have is to follow your gut instinct..... It is rarely wrong in my experience... when something feels off - it usually is, sadly.

hotchocandtwosmokybacon · 28/12/2023 02:53

If it's before you met him, let it go. He'd probably doesn't want to have to explain things or cause unnecessary reaction. Everyone has their past ...

GacksonJalaxy · 28/12/2023 02:53

I would feel deeply uncomfortable looking through old photos together with my husband if I didn't know exactly which ones were on the iPad. It's not about having something to hide, more that there's stuff he really doesn't need to see. Don't sneak in and look at the iPad and don't ask to see the photos.

Original poster
grumpesaurus · 28/12/2023 02:55

He probably would have deleted it before going to sleep if it's something he didn't want me to see.

I could just tell him I feel like he's hiding something on the iPad

OP posts:
Namechangedworriedmama · 28/12/2023 03:00

Goingtothinkofone · 28/12/2023 02:45

But whyyyyyyy? What good can come of it? It’s from before they even met!

Show quote history

Apologies, I missed that part

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