To object to my husband stopping me from going to Marrakech because it's 'dangerous'

[LaviniaLee]

I was hoping to go to Marrakech city centre for a long weekend with a female friend.

I've wanted to go there for ages - I love the idea of the architecture and culture.

But my husband isn't keen on it as a city. He thinks it's dangerous. He's been before and thinks it's overrated too.

He doesn't want me to go because he thinks it's dangerous. I said lots of people go there and I would stay in a decent hotel near the centre. He said that if I go anyway, it wouldn't be good for our marriage. We don't have kids yet.

AIBU to object to him stopping me?

As PPs have said I WISH people read the thread. If your experience of travel there is 20 years old, say so. If your experiences of travel have only been European, say so. If you've actually travelled solo or with other women, say so.

I've travelled around sub-Saharan Africa, Central America, SE Asia, the Caribbean, Southern Europe even and had similar. Turkey was pretty bad and honestly Spain and Italy (until I open my mouth and speak fluent Italian). "Biondina" shouted at me constantly. Kenya, yikes. The Paris Metro FFS. Marrakesh wasn't the worst by a long way.

Anyway, the OP buggered off pages ago so what's the point?

Things HAVE changed since 20 years ago. I first went in 2001 and have been a number of times since. There has been a concerted effort to address street harassment of tourists. It's completely different now. Your experience is irrelevant to this discussion!

I was in Marrakech in October. It's a bonkers place. I was with DH and two teenage DDs.
We never felt unsafe. We weren't majorly harassed, and the main threat really was being scammed. The research I did prior to our visit suggested that violence against tourists is vanishingly rare.
As it's a Muslim country, they don't drink there and there aren't aggressive leery drunks around at night.
That said, I'd not walk around alone at night (daytime fine), but then I'd likely not do that in other places, too.

I went to Tunisia 5 years ago and felt fine, I was mostly asked to buy stuff but I wasn't sexually harrassed. Maybe it's because I'm fat though, I was also with a tour group so not on my own.

Just remembered - people were trying to buy me from my husband! I was around 21, very pale and very light brown hair. I honestly thought they were joking. Maybe they weren't after all!

FFS
The offering to buy women is distasteful but it's joking. Moroccan men do not buy women. It's a joke based on a very old stereotype of Arab countries but no, they were not seriously trying to buy any of you.

I agree with this. I remember a man asking DH how many camels he'd accept for me. DH said "Oh just me a single knackered old camel. That'll do." Both men were clearly joking and I saw the funny side of it!

Yep, this is a 'playing to the tourists' thing, and it's quite laughable that so many people on this thread thought it was serious.

I just went to Marrakech with a girlfriend . We stayed near the centre at Medina gardens TUI hotel for a week. We had an amazing time!! I think your husband is talking utter bollocks

I remember this from all years travelling with my parents, can’t count the times someone has joked about buying me for money or camels. My dad always joked back and said they could have two for one (my mum and I).

I’ve been -women on their own do get leered at, but the biggest pain was the constant harassment to buy stuff or engage a ‘guide’. It’s also very easy to get lost in the narrow streets, best not to wander after dark. All that said - go, and enjoy!

I took my 17 year old daughter there a few years ago and it was fine. We stayed outside the centre in a nice hotel and took taxis when we wanted to go into town.

The central square and the markets are pretty grubby and noisy but we never felt scared, even at night. The worst think that can happen is that you get a tummy bug, which I did, but I think you can avoid that if you are more careful than we were.

The leering and attention wasn't that bad, though she was quite stunning at that age. I obviously had the usual jokey offers to buy her for camels and everyone laughed about it. It's a different culture.

I’ve been several times with a female friend and we have always had a good time and been entirely safe. Key is to understand the culture, what’s ok and not ok etc. Same as anywhere really. I’m not really sure what he is going on about. Does he think you will be abducted or converted to radical Islam?

I didn't enjoy my experience in Marrakech, as a woman. I stayed in the Medina, with my husband and son, and dressed modestly, and the level of contempt and harrassment I experienced was unreal. The older men sucked their teeth at me, the younger men leered and jeered. My husband has travelled all over the world and says he has never felt as vulnerable as he did in Marrakech, because he felt like he had to have his wits about him to protect me and said he felt like he was dragging a steak through a pack of hyenas, walking down a street with me. (FYI, I am not anything special at ALL.) The only thing that made me feel safe was my son, because everyone over there seemed to adore children.

Add this to the constant, non-stop unsolicited approaches offering guided tours, kids and young men offering to take you to wherever you are going, or their uncle's carpet shop, or into their stall. It was exhausting. If you stop anywhere to get your bearings, or look at a street sign... Any indication that you are even slightly in need of direction - they pile in. We went to get a taxi and got into the one at the front of the rank. The driver in the taxi behind tried to pull my son out of the taxi and into his, so we'd have to follow. Honestly, it just wasn't my favourite place at all to visit, even though it truly is stunning. The Medina - old town - is nothing like any European cities I've ever visited. The new town in fairness does feel very different.

However. Your husband has no right to stop you going. You are not his possession.

I visited 4 years ago, btw.

Whether or not it’s dangerous isn’t the main issue here. The issue is his implied ‘ultimatum’. If I was in your shoes, my response would be you saying that to me and putting me under pressure to change my mind instead is “isn’t good for our marriage”. If you let him get away with saying this and manipulating you, it won’t stop here.

I thought the whole "how many camels do you want for your wife" thing was just a tired racist stereotype. I've never heard it said. And the oh so entertaining responses the British men make. Never heard them in real life either. Good old Carry On films. What would we do without you?

Marrakech is the worst place I ever visited. Obviously he shouldn't stop you going but I would never go again and don't recommend it to anyone.

Your DH sounds like a dick but he’s also a dick who is right. Morocco generally is awful for women especially if you are blonde. I wouldn’t go back for a free holiday. I’ve no idea why it’s like this because it’s not the same in other similar cultures.

He’s an idiot. Statistically your biggest risk would be driving to the airport, in the UK. How can you possibly consider kids with someone like that? Or stay married.

It's not a dangerous city. Your husband sounds like a bully! The Government doesn't advise against travel there, it's not Kabul! I'd worry about someone who uses marriage blackmail.

Does your DH tell you what to/what not to do with everything in your life?
I would positively hate that.

1. He shouldn't be threatening you with the it won't be good for our marriage crap.

2 . Personally I wouldn't go and it does have a bit of a rep for being more risky than many other European cities.

hes wrong to offer that veiled threat but I’ve been there and did find the centre quite frightening