To object to my husband stopping me from going to Marrakech because it's 'dangerous'

[LaviniaLee]

I was hoping to go to Marrakech city centre for a long weekend with a female friend.

I've wanted to go there for ages - I love the idea of the architecture and culture.

But my husband isn't keen on it as a city. He thinks it's dangerous. He's been before and thinks it's overrated too.

He doesn't want me to go because he thinks it's dangerous. I said lots of people go there and I would stay in a decent hotel near the centre. He said that if I go anyway, it wouldn't be good for our marriage. We don't have kids yet.

AIBU to object to him stopping me?

But he does make threats if I don't agree with him on something (for example, he recently disagreed with something which I thought was reasonable and I argued my case. Then he said 'don't make me regret marrying you'.).

You have three choices. Never disagree with him, leave him, disagree and have him do this every time. Or, small small chance of success... you could say, "that's the last time you use that threat. If you want to be married, I will make my own decisions and have my own opinions. YOU are on notice, not me". And see what happens. I doubt you will because I suspect he choice you based on a slight lack of fuck-youedness.

I haven't been personally yet, but my friend regularly goes with her mum and they are fine.

Reading through experiences in Marrakesh it does seem to basically split between bad experiences a few years ago and better ones more recently. My very bad experience was a few years ago and I am relieved to see that I'm not alone in my feelings re Marrakesh although sorry others had the same experience. It is good that people feel things are better now

Lavinia your husbands tendency to refer to you causing him to "regret his marriage" and other references to you destabilising the marriage are manipulative and designed to make you feel a bit insecure and to control your choices. I think you need to talk to him quietly and calmly about this and point out that you disagreeing with him or doing something that is YOUR choice should bot threaten your marriage. His reaction to that discussion will tell you a lot about the realities of the relationship good or bad

😂

Not worth going tbh, don't need more than a couple of days. Mind the cats! The have rabbies

This has been a really interesting thread to read about Marrakesh. I was considering going with my female friend and won't now. Years ago I went to Marmaris withy ex husband and had similar experiences to being described here. It was not nice and I wouldn't want it again. I wouldn't want to contribute to the economy of a place that treats women like that either. You know yourself if you can cope with it, as quite a few women on here can. I just know I would feel unsafe. If you don't go though, you MUST immediately book somewhere else and call his bluff. Then you'll know.

I’ve been going since 2007 and even had my hens doo there. It’s as safe as anywhere. His issue is not about your safety it’s something else

He's a control freak, cut him loose

I went with my husband and kids a few months ago. It was safe, never felt it wouldn't be. But I understand why he thinks its not as people like to tell horror stories.

We did find it wasn't the right destination for us. Not much for the kids to do over a 2 week period.

Yes, it's definitely not a two week destination! And theres not much to interest young children.

But you can have a great time there for a long weekend, or a week if you do a few trips out of town too.

"Les Jardins de Majorelle" are my favourite botanic gardens anywhere; absolutely immaculately, flawlessly, kept and huuuuge cactuses!

@IAcceptCookies yes! We visited there. It was lovely. We went there from a recommendation of someone else. And we had loads planned. But a lot of the places we turned up and they where just closed. Like ghost towns. You call the number and book online and nothing...

We where quite disappointed. It's not a young family destination u less you are happy staying in a hotel resort.

Plus we crashed into a donkey at midnight. Donkey was fine. Car not so much!

Kbroughton - what an illogical stance, what about the women there who make money from tourism, should they be punished?

I was there in October, the locals were charming and kind (I’m a wheelchair user).

the taxi drivers touting for business were annoying but I booked mine in advance and they were great.
Don't let anyone tell you what you can do.

Yep, I found the hospitality, helpfulness and kindness amazing. Everyone working in the riads and restaurants couldn't have been nicer. Everyone really went out of their way to be helpful.
It's the stallholders that let the place down, really.

Next time he makes a threat about your marriage, you pause and say you know, I’ve asked my friends and their husbands never ever say things like don’t make me regret marrying you when they are arguing. If you really think you might leave just say so. I’m not going to fall into line and never disagree with you again so if that is unacceptable to you maybe you should just go. every time you hint at it or threaten it I come a little step closer to thinking ok then this isn’t working.

Saying things like “don’t make me regret marrying you” or similar is nasty and manipulative.

How do you feel when he says that? Do you feel that you are in a mutually respectful relationship? Why does he say these things when you say or do something he disagrees with? Do you say the same things if he says or does something you don’t agree with?

I'd be taking steps to leave someone who said that.

I went there about 10 years ago for a short break with my DD (then 12), I had always wanted to go. But we had a terrible time, it was the worst holiday I have ever been on. We were constantly harassed and followed by strange men when we left the hotel to walk around, it was really intimidating. Once we got slightly lost on the way back and a group of men followed us shouting and hassling us all the way back to the hotel. When we finally got back, the hotel manager had to shout at the men to go away and then was hugely apologetic but we were all shaken up and just stayed in the hotel after that - nice & relaxing but not worth going all the way there for a pleasant hotel room. We were conservatively dressed and not looking to attract any attention - my DD (12) got a lot of the hassling too which we both found really unpleasant.

I have travelled a far amount on my own for work so am a confident traveller but this was really unpleasant. I wouldn’t recommend as a place for any women / teenage girls.

I've been to Marrakech whilst on holiday to Morocco, I personally wouldn't go in a only female group.

When was this? Before or after the tourist police crackdown?

July 2022

Ask him to clarify in what way would it not be good for your marriage and let us know what he says.

Well you can get stabbed to death by a nutter in Nottingham, everywhere can be dangerous

But Marrakech isn't dangerous. It's a "low risk" travel destination. Violent attacks and muggings against tourists are practically unheard of. It's a lot less "dangerous" than many places people commonly visit.

The main risks are being hassled, harassed, pickpocketed or scammed, but there are ways of mitigating this and most people manage fine.