... to ask how much money your adult kids give?

[izimbra]

Adult daughter (24) living at home. Earns about 28K. What sort of contribution would you expect towards household expenses? Our house is so expensive to run, and our household budget is strained - I'm only working part time as I'm a carer for my adult son, and we have an 18 year old at university who we're supporting. My husband's income is keeping us all afloat. We don't charge our daughter rent and she doesn't save any money at all. In fact she has debts. She works full time, and is also studying for a degree with the OU.

Well I chose to have them and committed to a life time of parenting. So yes, I’d deal with my own circumstances rather than infringe on theirs.

You'd expect your adult children to live like children, then, not taking any financial responsibility for themselves and seeing their wages as pocket money?

Do you think that's going to make them a good partner for someone? A responsible citizen?

Exactly what I thought.

At 24 and on £28,000 she earns more than me and I have a whole household to run. You say there are 4 people living in the home so I’d be charging a quarter of the running costs, if they don’t like it they can always go get their own place which I’m sure would cost a lot more.

Has your daughter previously been to uni that you funded? Because if not, I think you are being very harsh on her. She is studying full time just like her brother, only she isn't costing you a small fortune by living out.

I think if she is working a full time job her study is likely to be part time.

This. You're not teaching her how to live in the real world.

@CommonOrNot

so you would live off beans and toast, stop buying makeup or whatever you like , stop socialising with pals etc to save money so that your ADULT daughter doesn’t have to contribute anything to the house in which she lives?!

you sound like a martyr

Despite your commitment to a life time of parenting, you seem to have missed what the point of parenting is - which is, to prepare your offspring to be functional adults in the wider world. I think you'll find that the wider world expects them to pay their way. You are failing them if you facilitate financial literacy in your offspring -they need to learn how to handle money. Or is it your intention to have them dependant on you forever?

I'm glad my parents didn't think like you.
I was running a car at 20. An old banger runaround but i worked 2 jobs while at uni to keep it on the road.
When we bought a house we were savvy enough to look at the difference in monthly payments between a 20 and 25 year mortgage and at the time it wasn't too bad so I was mortgage free in my early 40s.
I no longer have either of my parents but they instilled the value of money in me and i wouldn't ever have imagined living under their roof and going on expensive holidays, or any holidays for that matter while not paying my way. I would have been embarrassed

I’ll never understand charging your kids rent.

Im glad I have brought up two adults that aren't CF who think its ok to live for free & not contribute something.

My son earns 28k at 21 and only has himself to worry about.

My husband earns 40k and supports 5 of us.

So of course my son pays some rent. We are feeding and paying bills for 3 adults now (and 2 children). So he has to contribute towards that now that he’s earning good money.

Growing up it was just expected that when I started working, I would have to pay digs.

in 2003 when I earned around £14k I paid £200 per month

My DS 23 earns £30k and gives us £200. We think he should make a contribution while saving up for a house deposit.

Whatever you decide, think about carrying that on with your youngest when the time comes. Needs to be fair that they are treated the same when in the same circumstances. I was charged rent (rightly so) but younger sibling had a very different experience.

I think a 24 year old living at home and pulling in a £28k salary whilst studying with the OU is rather rare. If fully grown adults in full time employment decide to study in top of that then it's their look out,'otherwise when does it stop?

Should I charge my 20 year old daughter board when she lives at her boyfriends flat and pays bills there but still has things in her room at my house and sometimes brings washing for me to do?

No, I wouldn't charge her.

But why can't she do washing at her house? I wouldn't grudge her free use of my washing machine, etc. and I might offer to do it for her on occasion, but I wouldn't be letting her expect it of me.

My son pays €300 per month. That's about 1/5 of his take home pay.
I think it should be more TBH.