To ignore my managers rude text?

[Anon1359]

I work in Retail and have done for the same company for 12 years. The past year and a half the shop has had a new manager and her moods and attitude really affects the staff in the shop. She is very passive aggressive, if she is in a mood then my god everyone will know about it.

Anyway me and my DD who’s 4 have been ill this Christmas, I’ve worked all the run up to Christmas while I’ve been on my death bed because I didn’t want to leave them short staffed and you are made to feel awful if you call in sick. Don't know how I’ve done it but it’s killed me! I haven’t been able to move off the couch since Christmas Day and I need to rest, I’ve got laryngitis, a cough and flu symptoms and my little girl decided to add a stomach bug to the mix last night.

So I text my manager yesterday a nice polite text like I hope you’ve had a lovely Christmas sorry to text on Boxing Day etc but I’m really not well and my little girl is poorly so I won’t be able to come in tomorrow, to which the respond was:
‘I am with my family. Cover yourself!! You are leaving us short, can no one watch daughter’s name while you work?’

I am livid with her response, not even listen I know you’ve been so ill and still came in don’t worry about it I’ll get it covered. And regardless of my daughter I’m not well either!! So I put in the work group chat if anyone could cover me, the message was read and blanked by everyone but I did try.

My colleagues go into the shop at 5 to open for 6 so I’ve text the morning team leader as early as possible to see if they could try and get cover saying ‘I’m sorry I am really not well, I did try to get my shift covered but won’t be in’

To now I’ve just got another text from my manager saying ‘why are you off?? I’ve had messages this early saying you won’t be doing your morning shift and you haven’t got anyone to cover you? You were told last night to get cover. You will need to come and see me when you come back in tomorrow.’

I am honestly gob smacked, what do I even say in this situation? Should I just ignore her? Or will this make it worse? It’s barely even 7 o’clock and I’m on the couch crying because I feel so anxious, I’ve done nothing but work hard for them and I’m being treated like this! I won’t be able to rest now, I’ll just be panicking all day because I feel guilty and what’s going to happen when I go back to work.

Only read your messages so might have been said, but your daughter being ill is important. You have work rights that cover looking after dependents.

I am not sure how many times it has been said already. But no, there is no such right. Here is a link explaining what dependent leave is and it is most definitely not for “looking after dependents”

https://www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

Do you have a union?
You need to log everything and if you are in a union let your union rep know what has happened including all the texts pressure etc.
Even if you are not in a union log everything and consider taking out a grievance against her.
Meanwhile just respond by reiterating that you are ill and unable to work and you will be happy to discuss when you are better. Leave it at that. And don't go back to work until you feel completely well. Go to the doctor if you still don't feel well after the self certification period

That shows you are allowed emergency family leave.

I am currently in talks with an employment lawyer about this exact issue.

What even though she was obviously ill before Christmas and carried on working and that she has worked for this company successfully for 12 years? I think it's more likely to be a grievance against the manager.
But maybe I have been lucky usually working for reasonable and understanding people apart for one time when the person who acted like this manager was eventually dismissed because most of the staff working for them left due to the bullying behaviour and were then successful taking our constructive dismissal cases.

@Anon1359 I agree - just to add to what has been posted

Time taken off in the days preceding a 7 day period of sickness is Self-Certification. Your employer should provide you with a form or on-line questionnaire type reporting for you to enter the details of your sickness when you are well again.

You do not need to bother going to your GP to get a Fit Note or to report your sickness to them. The very reason for the law being changed (back in the 1980s re reporting the first days of a sickness) was to prevent people using up GP time because the normal non-serious sickness tends to be resolved within 7 days.

It's only if your sickness extends beyond the 7 days that you need to get a ‘fit note’ (formally 'sick note’) from your GP. Sickness period includes non-working days, such as weekends and bank holidays.

Do you use email for your work, if so I would email rather than text for sickness as it keeps it on a professional basis, rather than texting your manager's mobile. You arent seeking permission to take sickness absence, you are statibg a fact, you aren't fit for work. irresoective of whether your manager can or cannot find cover, that isnt your job.

I've learned to segregate things as"not in my swimlane", not something to concern myself with.

I would look up all the terms of your employer's sickness policy including their required reporting procedure, for future reference, if necessary getting a printout of the policy and keep it at home. It will save you a lot of stress and confusion. Procedure is useful because your manager can never give you a hard time for following procedure to the letter.

I hope you and your DD get better soon.

You have missed the point. She had time to find cover / childcare.

Your dd is your priority and she needs you at hole and she needs you well.
you need to take more than today off . Take the whole week off .
You have went above and beyond .
This women is horrible and rude and a bully.

She thought by talking to
you like crap and “telling” you that the issue was sorted . You are not well don’t let her guilt trip you .
No job is worth this.
Time to stand up to her , make official complaints about the way she treats you ,

Take this time to think about what you what next year maybe it’s time to get a different job .

Tbf you messaged her while she was enjoying Boxing Day with her family and gave her a big problem to sort out - getting cover for tomorrow.

I also hate getting problems like this to sort out on my day off, and feel that I have as much right to destress and switch off from work as anyone, and I hate it when people tell me that they'll be ill tomorrow. How can they possibly know that they won't wake up tomorrow feeling better?

Obviously I don't reply like your manager did. That is unprofessional, unkind and alienates staff. It is also wrong to suggest that you need to sort your own cover. But I suppose I just wanted to give you a different view of the situation because my interpretation was a manager who wanted to forget about work for a bit but was dragged back into it.

Next time, call on the day of absence and make it clear that you are too ill to get involved with sorting your own cover.

as i keep saying: you need better employment laws. Vote for better government.

For a sick child, at Christmas?

With the current state of childcare?

Sure she did.

Yes dear. Many of us have and do, but that won't really help the OP in the short term, and you sound awfully smug and a bit foolish.

And who would have been looking after child ? That’s the point isn’t it. Childcare should have been sorted.

that's not a man solution that's a twat solution, tbh.

The sensible thing would be to contact the manager's boss and show that the DH had had the holiday signed off and reiterated that he wouldn't be working. And left any reply to adverse answers to his union. Or lawyer.

Exactly

No it doesn’t sound ok.
Still doesn’t sound like you are standing up to her .
You are also not doing anyone any favours going back to work tomorrow .
This women doesn’t Care about your health most work places don’t .

There has been a good few messages with odes of how to reply use one of those.

You are not well enough to go into work. What your family is, how their health is, not really relevant here.

Hope you can use some of the advice others have given.

well that's lovely.

You do you.

Some people, who have been brainwashed since the Thatcher years into believing you should be grateful for any job have driven the employment regulations in the UK into worse than the gutter. But if that's what you want, have at it.

It can be better. Much much better. If you have no aspirations for better employment law carry on.

Smug and foolish? that would be people like you who have zero idea how things could be so much better.

I may be smug, maybe not. But I've never had this problem with a manager and my job - because i live in a country with civilised rules for workers with dependents.

OP - are you in a union? Please consider joining one. Contrary to what a lot of people on MN think it doesn't make you a Marxist and it doesn't have to be registered with your employer unless you have a recognised union at your place of work. They don't all immediately shout "all out" - on the contrary they can give you advice on how to proceed, and possibly persuade your employer to make the sick reporting practices more transparent and easier to follow.

Everywhere in retail is desperate for staff, especially experienced staff. Go and find a new job, and tell your manager to shove it. Bonus points if you can encourage a colleague or two to do the same!

Well finding cover is her job isn't it , she's the manager ffs and paid to 'manage'. But yes don't say that some people are just comepte arseholes and she's one of them but I would use this to set boundaries.

Along the lines of " sorry if I didn't make it clear. As you seen in the run up to Xmas I'm sick but still came in whilst really struggling so as not to leave you short staffed, but I'm too sick to come in at all now. My child is also sick but me being sick is the reason I'm not in. As per company policy I've contact xxx this morning and let then know. Thanks ...

Then ignore further messages and when she has a meeting just say kindly its never been stagfs tole to find a replacement that's a managerial responsibility. Stupid cow.

Yes, I wouldn't be too confident that emergency childcare for a kid 12 hours into a D and V episode is going to be forthcoming.

Take as much time off as you need for you to recover. Going back too early is not good for you and you are likely to be ill again soon.

This will be treated as one absence so take at least a few days off.

I'd also start looking for a better job as she is awful and very unprofessional. Or complain about her to HR.

Relax and rest. Switch your phone off. You've done all you can to alert them to your absence.

What a horrible place to work. How can they justify treating people so badly

i probably shouldnt have messaged her and rang the store directly but no one ever ever answers the phone

That is their problem not your problem.

Follow policy. Always follow policy even if the logistics are flawed.

Phone the stores number several times and screen-print your call history as proof that you tried.