Joint birthday and Christmas presents

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My DD turns 1 tomorrow and I've specifically said since she was born "No joint presents!" Get her a small gift for 1 and put £5 in her account, or whatever people can afford, but do 2 things, they are separate special days.

2 family members - one from my side 1 from DP - have gone against our wishes and said she is only 1, she won't remember, it was an expensive gift so she will like it etc.

AIBU for being angry they chose to go against what we asked? I said to both family members if her birthday was July you would have bought 2 gifts, but I still got "she won't know she is only 1".

I'm not ungrateful for the gifts, they are lovely and DD probably won't know, but as parents we know, I'm upset they couldn't even put £1 in her card as a gift, or buy an actual birthday and actual Xmas present.

Am I being silly?

My birthday is January and I often got joint presents as a child; it still rankles me and I’m nearly 64.
I don’t get joint presents now; just all the rubbish people got at Christmas which they regift me.

He sounds very precious ,you can treat him like a prince on his birthday
But you can't expect others too

With that attitude of might find that none if your kids get any presents from anyone else other than you ,be careful what you wish for...

People who are saying it's ridiculous, obviously have birthdays at different times of the year.

It's one of the most annoying thing about a birthday close to Christmas, everyone thinks they can lump it together, but they're totally different events.

Don't let them do this, my parents didn't, thank goodness, so I was ok.

People who are saying it's ridiculous, obviously have birthdays at different times of the year.
Not necessarily, just have the sense to realise that one more expensive gift for a 1 year old baby is likely to be a common sense decision by the gift givers so being annoyed about it is a bit over the top.

It's not like they've tried to pass off a selection box and a £5 note as birthday and Christmas combined, which most people would probably say is cheeky and unfair.

As I said up, thread my son was 17 yesterday so I get it ,but I'm not rude and neither is he

My sons birthday is tomorrow. I obviously buy him separate presents, birthday wrapping paper, etc. However I don't think you can really dictate to someone giving a gift to give 2 separate presents. Surly, what they give is up to the giver? Just make sure you treat them as separate events.

I’m a Capricorn too.

I did better with a joint present, because people inevitably spent more on one gift, than two. As I got older you could see the “clutching of pearls” or “wringing their hands” telling me how expensive the one gift was 🤣🤣

it is nice to get to gifts, but I’d really rather have something beautiful or practical which I love rather than two bits of old tat, so I have a birthday gift and a Christmas gift, which may/will be donated to the charity shop.

Perhaps I’m just selfish.

If anyone gave a joint birthday and Christmas present, I would ask them where the Christmas gift was. If it was wrapped in Christmas paper, I would ask where the birthday gift was. Then I would hand the present back with a no thanks.

Then you would be exceedingly rude and entitled.

Thing is, the parents entitled, grabby and rude attitude is not the kids fault. Hopefully any children will have a better view of the world and understand that a gift is exactly that, a gift, and not something to be demanded of people.

No no no yanbu
I have a Christmas birthday. I broke up with an ex after he wrapped my "birthday present" in Christmas wrapping paper 🤣🤣 there were other issues but still, the straw that broke and all that...

Doesn't matter she's only 1. If they do it this year. They'll do it for the next decade. It's hard enough waiting a year as a kid to get presents, without choosing if you want something on your birthday or Christmas.

Stand firm. It's not about being ungrateful. It's about having boundaries.

My birthday is Christmas day and I've never been bothered about whether people got me joint presents or not. My mum on the other hand used to get very annoyed.

Honestly I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. I think parents make it worse. I always get asked what it's like having a birthday on Xmas day and I say honestly that it's fine I don't know any different or what it's like to have a birthday in June for example! As I got older I celebrated my birthday a couple of days before but when I was young it was Xmas in the morning birthday in the afternoon.

At 1yrs old your child will know now different and honestly won't care!

My birthday was yesterday. I have always been extremely lucky and fortunate that I have always had separate presents and Boxing Day has always been designated as my birthday. I can remember when I was at Primary school in the 70’s, I even had a couple of birthday parties on Boxing Day.

I think 'why haven't you got my child a birthday present?' is a very rude question to ask of anyone except, possibly, grandparents, and even then it depends on the relationship. I have one with a birthday close to Christmas and one with a summer birthday and I really think people are overestimating the extent to which anyone except immediate family make a fuss about any birthday unless you throw a party.

My Birthday tomorrow … I always got joint presents, never had a birthday party (until I was old enough to plan my own, it was never a big deal. TBH, it’s never bothered me. My present I have asked for tomorrow is “some peace and quiet”.
That’s the breaks being a Christmas Baby.

My son's birthday is today 27th Dec, he has always had two presents

They absolutely would be treated equally, none of them would get gifts at all.

Where exactly would a child with such a grabby gift entitled parent get this better view of the world? Sadly I think they’d grow up just the same and just as rude.

Honestly at this age joint presents. Totally agree with you for when older.

I think you're on the wind up now. Either that or your reading comprehension is appalling.

Or...they just disagree with you. Is that really such an unbelievable concept to you?

Lots of us have already said we (or our kids/partners) have birthdays close to Christmas.

My DB birthday is on xmas day. He always had separate presents, and as a kid would have a birthday party in the summer.

Honestly? I've hated it all my life.

It's not hard to think that it's a birthday, so wrap presents in birthday paper is it?

I have two December babies, two October.

I agree with the separate things to a point, till you say expensive.

So for example, the little December two, aunty bought a wonderful water, sand outdoor table which would have been far too much for one alone, but the combined Christmas birthday budget for both allowed it.

She still sent a birthday card, and made a fuss, video call, etc.

I just don't get how people get so worked up about things that don't matter.

Having a present wrapped in the 'wrong' paper seems to make so many posters so angry but why.

OH MY GOD!!! It's got Christmas robins on and NOT rainbow unicorns. That's AWFUL!!! I'm so offended. 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

It's a present, it's wrapped. Who cares 🤷🏻‍♀️

I do generally try and match wrapping paper to events but if someone gave me an incorrectly wrapped present I would not care. Not the teeniest bit.