to ask if you’re a parent with kids on loud devices in public what’s your reasoning?

[AMuser]

…just can not quite fathom it?

This afternoon in a beautiful 5 star hotel. A quiet lounge room with various family groups and so on. Suddenly aware of the awful referred noise of a kid watching his phone on full volume. He was aged about 8 or 9 and sitting with his parents - quite some way away from me (to show how loud it was).

Waited awhile to see if it would stop. It didn’t. So went over asked politely could they please put the child’s phone on silent. Seemingly decent woman immediately goes on the attack “why should he”. Well you’re in a public place and it’s rude. “Who says” was her response. I mean, if you don’t realise that what hope is there.

I’ve got 4 older kids who did have iPads etc at a certain point. But always with headphones or on silent. Newsflash they will still stare at it regardless

Rather lovely young Dad seated much closer to them came over and thanked me. Said he’d wanted to say something as it was so grating but his wife had asked him not to.

So if you do this - what is your reasoning? Why is this ok?

YABU - my child (or indeed my own) need to listen to tik tok / you tube / Cocomelon etc trumps anyone else in a public place that might not want to hear our devices.

YANBU - and we must rise up in the most unBritish fashion to challenge this insanity & establish order once more and let people know they need to get headphones or go home to blast their phones in public

It’s annoying, but so is the 75 year old roaring down the phone because her hearing aids not in right

That wouldn't annoy me because it's a human voice and a perfectly normal noise. Not a piercing tinny repetetive squawky ear grinder.

Much as I like your username that’s a twattish response. You know exactly what was meant.

YABU some kids have raised hearing thresholds, refuse to wear hearing aids and need their tablet or phone to help with regulating. Even parents are sick of the noise but what can they do

I love how your user name asks others to " let me eat in peace" but you claim the right ruin the peace of others.

Sadly, we seem to be in a world where very many people really don’t care about others nor will they consider how their actions might affect those around them . Too much entitlement and then aggression if politely asked to adjust behaviour.

I find it rather depressing, as well as frequently irritating.

How smug and stupid are you? Good luck teaching severely autistic children with LD to read and amuse themselves. I am sure your competent parenting would have fallen on its backside

I have a dd with severe LD. She is non verbal, and I have sometimes used my phone in a public place to entertain her with cartoons. Always, always, always on silent.

Headphones, and if they won’t wear headphones, on silent.

There are no excuses at all for ruining anyone else’s day with tinny iPad sounds. So so selfish.

Parents that allow this are self entitled
dickheads.

silent or headphone is the only acceptable behaviour.

I hate these parents.

It's rude and selfish and teaches the kids to lack social skills and understanding of etiquette and others.

Worse ever was a family who had 3 kids, each on an i pad, no headphones.... on an aeroplane. I couldn't believe it. Them sat there like its fine.

I'm neurodiverse and absolutely struggle terribly with sensitivity to noise. I can cope with a general buzz of conversations around me (for a while at least) but any sort of squeaking/buzzing/beeping - as tends to come from the things that kids watch - makes me want to scratch out my own eyeballs/cry/erupt in white hot rage. There's no need for anyone else around to have to hear it, whether they are ND or not

Ha, I heard one the other day. 'Would you like some refreshing orange juice?' refreshing?

Then, she went on to alternate between the childs name and 'refreshing juice', over and over. Kid was ignoring her, but the whole restaurant had to listen to it go on and on.

I entirely agree with you, OP, and I would never let my DC watch or play with devices loudly/without headphones in public places.

One thing I would say though is that as a parent I can filter the noise my DC (or indeed other kids) are making remarkably effectively. So occasionally we've been out and I've been distracted - trying to pay for something, send a message, talk to someone - and so it takes me a little time to realise that my DC are being disruptive/making too much noise for the place we are in. When I realise, I shut them down instantly but very occasionally we have have (justified) frosty looks because obviously other people no longer have or haven't developed the same sort of filter for DC noise which I have.

I find that there is always a constant din of phones, inane conversations and people watching things with volume up. The combination is really awful, particularly if it's on your commute.

I've taken to wearing noise cancelling headphones - can't fight with all the selfish people.

Yeah huge. I never adapted my communication style other than making sure not to use too complicated words. Both my kids thrived because of it.

YANBU it really winds me up. I think the only way to deal with rude people like that is to try and beat them at their own game and play some offensive rap music or heavy metal on your phone at full volume!

I do too. The rage and anxiety is awful. I wear loop earplugs but in certain places when i don't have them its overwhelming.

Trying to read something with someone nearby on a call or playing something without earphones is utter torture. I have cried over this in the past.

@Redlarge I'm so glad someone else gets it. I was at a christmas quiz last week so already a bit socialised out and there was a beeping smoke alarm going off yet no one else could understand it was causing me literal physical pain! I didn't find the loop headphones helpful but maybe I had the wrong ones... I might try again as the other week when I was on a train I could even hear my drink fizzing in the bottle 🤣

I once took a train from New York to Orlando (21 hours), where a lovely little angel watched the entire back catalogue of Sponge Bob Square Pants at full volume, whilst her gran sat oblivious to the annoyance she was causing. It took every fibre of my being not to go psycho. I only stayed silent because I know they carry guns. lol If it had been the UK, that little girl would have been out the train window.

@Pinkdressinggownbelt Get their kids to wear headphones or find other strategies for managing their behaviour/symptoms in public places? Or, if a child won't wear headphones or a hearing aid or use a device on silent or be occupied by anything that's not a device, maybe the parents need to avoid restaurants and hotels for the time being? It's just not reasonable to impose electronic noise on other people.

Oh love, its torture isnt it. Ringtones dead loud and people who have their keyboard set to that unbareable clicking noise whilst they text... my jaw is clenching just posting this.

The worst for me is when the quiet office in work is unavailable and im the open plan.... generally i can get on with it there... but even if someone is miles away and choses to do a teams call or watch a training event WITHOUT headphones i want to cry/scream at them. I cant read or write or follow any of my own conversations till they finish.

@Redlarge omg the clicking phones and that little whoosh noise when the message sends! Someone in my aesthetics clinic was doing this and my appt was delayed so by the time I got seen I was ready to commit murder

Luckily I can work from home almost all the time but felt really guilty for doing so (I have two roles and one is very much an office based culture) but I had my organisation HR complete a reasonable adjustment document for me to say I might not be able to work in the office all the time. Not sure on your role or if this would be possible but worth a try!

Not wanting to derail so please feel free ro DM if you want to chat further 😊

Last time I went to a spa, there was a woman in the steam room with her iPad. It was thick steam so she could barely see the screen. What a sad prat. Give it a rest, and give the rest of us a break from seeing and hearing effing screens everywhere we go. Not to mention the privacy aspect, don't really want devices with cameras inside a spa area thanks.

Most unbelievable selfless and thoughtless noise exposure I've experienced recently was when my DF was in hospital, in a small bay of 4 men, and one patient's son brought him a radio in 'so he could listen to the sport'. I came to visit my Dad in the afternoon and the radio was on really loud blasting out shit music FM. Dad told me it had been on all day. No peace for any of the other patients, and was so loud visitors and their relatives couldn't hear each other speak. My Dad was in absolute purgatory. I was gobsmacked that I had to ask a nurse to turn it off as it just hadn't occurred to any of the various medical staff milling around to do so.

Selfish, selfish people, and not v impressed with medical staff either not noticing discomfort of three patients and their visitors subjected to constant loud noise for several hours. Hardly helpful for convalescence.

Many many SEN kids are perfectly capable of wearing headphones. Alternatively, set it to silent where even remotely possible. SEN shouldn’t be used as an excuse for rudeness (SEN in the family before anyone asks).

Why does it matter what star the hotel is. It isn't okay in any public space regardless of how posh that space is. Hotel, transport, parks etc. Just no.

.