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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if you’re a parent with kids on loud devices in public what’s your reasoning?

338 replies

AMuser · 26/12/2023 16:28

…just can not quite fathom it?

This afternoon in a beautiful 5 star hotel. A quiet lounge room with various family groups and so on. Suddenly aware of the awful referred noise of a kid watching his phone on full volume. He was aged about 8 or 9 and sitting with his parents - quite some way away from me (to show how loud it was).

Waited awhile to see if it would stop. It didn’t. So went over asked politely could they please put the child’s phone on silent. Seemingly decent woman immediately goes on the attack “why should he”. Well you’re in a public place and it’s rude. “Who says” was her response. I mean, if you don’t realise that what hope is there.

I’ve got 4 older kids who did have iPads etc at a certain point. But always with headphones or on silent. Newsflash they will still stare at it regardless

Rather lovely young Dad seated much closer to them came over and thanked me. Said he’d wanted to say something as it was so grating but his wife had asked him not to.

So if you do this - what is your reasoning? Why is this ok?

YABU - my child (or indeed my own) need to listen to tik tok / you tube / Cocomelon etc trumps anyone else in a public place that might not want to hear our devices.

YANBU - and we must rise up in the most unBritish fashion to challenge this insanity & establish order once more and let people know they need to get headphones or go home to blast their phones in public

OP posts:
Hoglet70 · 26/12/2023 16:30

I probably wouldn't have been brave enough to challenge them but I totally agree with you.

WhatDogDidNext · 26/12/2023 16:36

Hmm. It was on full volume? That’s hard to believe.

And you wanted it on silent?

I don’t see the issue with it being on quietly, no different to hearing others around you have conversations but not being able to hear them properly.

I think most people make their kids have it on quietly or use headphones.

underneaththeash · 26/12/2023 16:36

YANBU, I always go over as well.You can complaint to staff to. It's really antisocial - but some people are always going to be tossers.

CoffeeWithCheese · 26/12/2023 16:37

After we had a younger sibling being entertained with Cocomelon on a parent's phone with the volume on in the MIDDLE of the nativity play the other week - nothing surprises me anymore.

nutster · 26/12/2023 16:38

So did she turn it down or not?

and Rather lovely young Dad seated much closer to them came over and thanked me. Said he’d wanted to say something as it was so grating but his wife had asked him not to.

might well be lovely but a bit of a limp lettuce

Original poster
AMuser · 26/12/2023 16:39

WhatDogDidNext · 26/12/2023 16:36

Hmm. It was on full volume? That’s hard to believe.

And you wanted it on silent?

I don’t see the issue with it being on quietly, no different to hearing others around you have conversations but not being able to hear them properly.

I think most people make their kids have it on quietly or use headphones.

Well it was certainly properly loud. As in I could hear it and I was not right by them by any means. About 10 m away.

But yes I don’t think anyone’s device should be making any noise if they are in public. Watch with subtitles if you can’t sit without a phone.

OP posts:
Easipeelerie · 26/12/2023 16:40

WhatDogDidNext · 26/12/2023 16:36

Hmm. It was on full volume? That’s hard to believe.

And you wanted it on silent?

I don’t see the issue with it being on quietly, no different to hearing others around you have conversations but not being able to hear them properly.

I think most people make their kids have it on quietly or use headphones.

It is very, very different. The tinny sound of electronic devices - quiet or not can be really irritating. The brain finds it harder to process as it’s not ambient sound. Google it.

CatVsTree · 26/12/2023 16:40

I'd have got hotel / restaurant staff to speak to them.

Easipeelerie · 26/12/2023 16:41

I challenged someone about it once, politely. They looked at me as if I’d lost my mind.

Original poster
AMuser · 26/12/2023 16:41

underneaththeash · 26/12/2023 16:36

YANBU, I always go over as well.You can complaint to staff to. It's really antisocial - but some people are always going to be tossers.

Thank for your work in the revolution!!

OP posts:
DeathrowMarriage · 26/12/2023 16:42

Reminds of a time once in a tea room when a woman put her small child’s iPad on FULL VOLUME. It was all anyone could hear. I sat there in disbelief that no one said anything to her. I left.

kitchenner · 26/12/2023 16:42

It's actually not just children that do this.

I've seen older people do it too. Hint hint my father sits around watching videos at full blast wherever he is. I don't think he thinks it bothers people in a public space because it's not silent anyway.

I think some people think a public space is fine as there's noise anyway. That's probably their reasoning.

PermanentTemporary · 26/12/2023 16:42

Having a personal video or audio on at any volume at all anywhere in public is not ok. There are extra annoying versions (porn, kids' programmes, motor sport) but there's not much difference- even if it's Countryfile or On the River. It's rude and offensive.

baubletits · 26/12/2023 16:43

YADNBU, I hate hearing other people's kids music or programmes on iPads and phones. I usually take colouring in for mine if I think they will moan about being bored. I think it's a bit sad that a lot of kids just have a screen plonked in their face.

Original poster
AMuser · 26/12/2023 16:43

Easipeelerie · 26/12/2023 16:40

It is very, very different. The tinny sound of electronic devices - quiet or not can be really irritating. The brain finds it harder to process as it’s not ambient sound. Google it.

Show quote history

Exactly!!!

Though I do think some people really don’t hear it / find it irritating. I do have self diagnosed misophonia.

OP posts:
Desecratedcoconut · 26/12/2023 16:43

Oh, wait, a five star hotel? Yeah, completely unacceptable. That shit could fly in a four star hotel but not in a five star hotel, when everyone looks so naice. Glad you were there to keep things in line.

TheaBrandt · 26/12/2023 16:44

Raised by wolves. Well done for saying something Dh does this too see also primary school parents idling their engines outside our house.

DyslexicPoster · 26/12/2023 16:44

Yanbu. Selfish behaviour of people with low self awareness. Their kids can't cope or behave without constant gadgets and the parents don't want to I presume. No headphones is totally rude.

Same as a full grown man listening to football loudly in Costa.

Full blast who cares if it's disturbing others not sitting at your table it's too loud.

None of my kids need the ipad whilst eating in public and one has pda, the other two go to SEN schools.

crumpet · 26/12/2023 16:44

WhatDogDidNext · 26/12/2023 16:36

Hmm. It was on full volume? That’s hard to believe.

And you wanted it on silent?

I don’t see the issue with it being on quietly, no different to hearing others around you have conversations but not being able to hear them properly.

I think most people make their kids have it on quietly or use headphones.

It’s very different to someone having a quiet conversation - sound effects, music, fast spoken voices, high pitched etc etc. it is rude and inconsiderate. Headphones exist.

Original poster
AMuser · 26/12/2023 16:44

kitchenner · 26/12/2023 16:42

It's actually not just children that do this.

I've seen older people do it too. Hint hint my father sits around watching videos at full blast wherever he is. I don't think he thinks it bothers people in a public space because it's not silent anyway.

I think some people think a public space is fine as there's noise anyway. That's probably their reasoning.

Yes you’re right. Lots of people do it.

That must be it. They must feel it’s the same as conversation when it just isn’t. (To me anyway)

OP posts:
crumpet · 26/12/2023 16:45

Desecratedcoconut · 26/12/2023 16:43

Oh, wait, a five star hotel? Yeah, completely unacceptable. That shit could fly in a four star hotel but not in a five star hotel, when everyone looks so naice. Glad you were there to keep things in line.

It is crap whether it’s in a cafe, on a train or any public place.

thefallen · 26/12/2023 16:45

YANBU. It's selfish and shit.

Desecratedcoconut · 26/12/2023 16:46

crumpet · 26/12/2023 16:45

It is crap whether it’s in a cafe, on a train or any public place.

Show quote history

Not great with sarcasm?

Original poster
AMuser · 26/12/2023 16:46

Desecratedcoconut · 26/12/2023 16:43

Oh, wait, a five star hotel? Yeah, completely unacceptable. That shit could fly in a four star hotel but not in a five star hotel, when everyone looks so naice. Glad you were there to keep things in line.

Yeah. Agreed. Premier Inn I’m OK with it. Though Lenny Henry does do spot checks and will remove repeat offenders.

OP posts:
NorthernSpirit · 26/12/2023 16:47

I applaud you for saying something 👏

I’m the same as you and do say something. This absolutely boils my piss and it’s extremely rude & bad mannered of people.

Why do people do it? Because they are self entitled who think that their wants and needs trump everyone else’s. IMO it seems to have got worse since Covid.